UnBecoming with Elena Joy

In this episode, Elena Joy sits down with Hanna Miller, founder of Conscience-Driven Leadership, for a conversation that keeps arriving at the same truth from two very different lives. Elena built her map through Signal and Static, and core values. Hanna built hers through the circus, horses, and conscience. They meet in the middle on burnout, intuition, and what it actually takes to lead like a human inside systems that often reward the opposite.

Along the way: why anxiety is sometimes the clearest signal in the room, how to tell your intuition apart from your distortions, the drama triangle as a sign you've lost the plot, and what a trembling koala in a field of stumps can teach us about the burnout so many leaders are carrying right now. For the managers stuck in the messy middle who feel like they can't quit and can't keep going, Hanna and Elena name the unspoken thing and point toward where your agency actually lives.

Warm, honest, and a little rebellious. Come get your rooftop perspective.

Links

Get Hanna's book, Trust Physics:
https://www.consciencedrivenleadership.com/trust-physics-ebook

Learn more about Hanna's work:
https://www.consciencedrivenleadership.com/resources

Hanna's podcast episode on boundaries:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2570370/episodes/18824611-distortions-part-2-boundary-and-approval

Chat with Elena Joy:
https://chatwithelenajoy.com/

Connect with Elena Joy:
Substack: https://elenajoyspeaks.substack.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenajoythurston/
https://LatitudeLeaders.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

"Why doesn't Gen Z have a work ethic?!"

We hear that time and time again. It turns out, Gen Z actually does have a work ethic. And they're also one of the first generations to hold a genuine capacity and ability to prioritize their mental well-being. Elena explains that by creating a system based on data, compassion, and accountability rather than blame and frustration, Alex and Brayden were able to solve an issue with most of their employees calling out from their shifts 25% of the time.

If your organization could use some highly-skilled middle managers, let's talk. You can book a time at https://latitudeleaders.com/contact

Connect with Elena Joy:
Substack: https://elenajoyspeaks.substack.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenajoythurston/
https://LatitudeLeaders.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

Free Networking Cheat Sheet: https://latitudeleaders.com/networkingcheatsheet

49 HR conferences in 2023. Elena takes everything she learned in that year and breaks it down into three ways you can show up more authentically as yourself at your next event.

Three Words Away: https://latitudeleaders.com/threewordsaway

Connect with Elena Joy Thurston on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenajoythurston/

UnBecoming with Elena Joy on Substack: https://elenajoyspeaks.substack.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

The Leadership Skill You Already Have Time to Build

How to create connection at work without adding a single thing to your calendar

Content Note: This episode includes a brief mention of miscarriage.

Episode Summary:

Connection at work is a skill, and it's one you already have time to practice. In this episode, Elena Joy breaks down why disconnection is the single biggest predictor of burnout, why managers hold more power over employee engagement than compensation or flexibility, and how the ARC framework gives any leader a repeatable, sustainable path to genuine connection without adding a single thing to their calendar.

What You'll Learn:

Why your nervous system is wired to need connection at work, and what happens when it doesn't get it

The three-step ARC framework: Activate, Reinforce, Codify

What Powerful Presence actually looks like in a meeting you're already running

Why the best connection systems are the ones light enough to survive a hard week

Mentioned in This Episode:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38285544/

https://www.gallup.com/services/182138/state-american-manager.aspx

https://enboarder.com/blog/how-much-is-human-connection-really-worth/

Free Resource:

Grab Elena's five favorite connection questions, the ones she actually uses in meetings, 1:1s, and when she's trying to find someone's spark without making it weird.

LatitudeLeaders.com/sv-cheat-sheet

Connect with Elena Joy:

Substack: https://elenajoyspeaks.substack.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenajoythurston/

Website: LatitudeLeaders.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

In this episode, I break down why middle managers are the single greatest lever in your organization — for engagement, retention, and burnout prevention.

Using a real story from the public school system, I share how one principal walked into a failing school (fourth leader in four years, morale in the basement) and, without additional funding or lighter workloads, transformed retention, culture, and performance. What changed?

Not strategy.Not budget.Not talent.

People leadership.

Employees don’t experience “the company.”They experience their manager.

And research continues to show:

Managers are the biggest driver of employee engagement (Gallup).

“Relational detachment” is one of the strongest predictors of burnout.

47% of employees who quit say they loved their job, but not their manager.

58% cite management style as the primary reason they leave.

Burnout rarely starts with workload.It starts with disconnection.

In this conversation, we explore:

Why middle managers are the operational layer of burnout prevention

How tone, availability, consistency, and conflict style shape retention

Why high performers don’t quit companies — they quit managers

The daily behaviors that create sustainable engagement

How to build connection intentionally instead of by accident

If you care about strategy execution, talent retention, and sustainable leadership, this episode is for you.

Because right now, your managers are deciding whether your highest performers stay — or take their impact, experience, and institutional memory somewhere else.

Not because of compensation.Not because of workload.Because of connection.

Resources Mentioned:

The Manager Skills Lab – A hands-on leadership training designed to equip middle managers with practical relational leadership skills that stabilize teams and protect capacity.

Learn more:🌐 https://LatitudeLeaders.com🔥 Burnout Prevention Starter Kit: https://BurnoutStarterKit.com

If this resonated:

Subscribe for more conversations on sustainable leadership

Share this with an executive or HR leader

Comment: What’s one leadership behavior that changed your experience at work?

Let’s create your organization’s future by design, not default.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

Leaders in the US, let's chat about how can you show up for your people on a day like today. Links to the resources mentioned below.

Somatic breathing exercise audio - https://latitudeleaders.com/grounding

Burnout Prevention Starter Kit - https://latitudeleaders.com/burnoutstarterkit

List of Core Values - https://latitudeleaders.com/corevalueslist

Joyful Office Hours - https://calendly.com/elenajoythurston/joyful-office-hours

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

🎙️ Episode Title: The Jolt That Changed Everything

Episode Summary:There’s nothing more American than the solopreneur journey—it’s just you versus late-stage capitalism. (Cue the Rocky montage.)

In this episode, Elena Joy shares the surprisingly emotional story of how a simple box of flyers—created by her friend and client Vera at Southwest Solutions—became a catalyst for confidence, clarity, and courage.

What started as “I’ll make a flyer next year” turned into a powerful reminder that readiness isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you claim.

Listen as Elena unpacks:

The deeper work behind deconstructing internalized shame as a queer entrepreneur

How inclusive leadership and friendship intersect to make “the impossible” feel possible

Why tangible proof (even in the form of beautiful paper) can ignite intangible transformation

Whether you’re running a business, leading a team, or just trying to keep your soul intact while paying the bills—this one’s for you.

✨ Featured in this episode:

Southwest Solutions — award-winning merch and swag company helping small businesses look as bold as they feel.

Leadership Capacity Framework — the burnout prevention model that helps you rebuild confidence from the inside out.

🔥 Ready for your own jolt of clarity?Download the Burnout Prevention Starter Kit — a free guide to help you understand your current burnout risk and start rebuilding your capacity today.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

In this episode, I’ll break down:

Why most burnout advice doesn’t stick (spoiler: no one else is the expert on your burnout but you).

The five capacities every leader needs to protect to prevent burnout: Cognitive, Emotional, Relational, Time & Energy, and Systemic Support.

How the assessment works and why it takes the shame out of talking about burnout at work.

A real-world story of 50+ HR leaders who took the mini-assessment—and what happened next.

Normally, this tool lives inside my paid trainings. But this month, I’m making it free during Joyful Office Hours.

Thursday, September 25 at 1 pm PT (on Zoom).Always free, just register here: Register for Joyful Office Hours

If you’ve ever thought “I just can’t anymore,” this is your chance to put language and clarity around that feeling—so you can finally do something about it.

✨ Links & Resources

Register for Joyful Office Hours: BurnoutStarterKit.com

Learn more about my work: LatitudeLeaders.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

Spend Time Like It Belongs to YouNot like you stole it.

Once upon a time, I was called “Little Bit”—tiny in size, and eventually tiny in spirit—because I kept pouring myself into everyone else’s cup. Wife. Mother. Friend. Volunteer. Dutiful daughter. Until one day, there was nothing left of me to pour.

In this episode, I’m not giving you a color-coded calendar hack. I’m giving you permission to reclaim your time like it’s actually yours—and to stop believing the lie that you have to earn rest.

We’ll talk about:

Why “time management” is the wrong game if you want to avoid burnout

How to spot the time lie you’ve been sold—and refuse to buy it again

A simple “Required Restoration” experiment to figure out what actually replenishes you

The single question to ask yourself each morning that changes how you end your day

Because the opposite of burnout isn’t balance—it’s alignment. And alignment is a choice you make in the now, not a reward you hope shows up later.

🎁 Want to protect your time and your energy?Grab my free Burnout Prevention Starter Kit and learn the first steps to restoring your capacity—without waiting for your schedule to magically open up.

And if you’re hearing this before August 21, 2025, I’ve got something special for you. This month in Joyful Office Hours, I’m running the Leadership Capacity Assessment for the very first time—and I’m opening it to the public, completely free.

Here’s what that means: you’ll join me live (virtually), take the assessment in real time, and discover which of your five capacities is running the lowest—and exactly where to focus if you want to rebuild your energy without burning out.

All you have to do is register at JoyfulOfficeHours.com. It’s free, it’s fun, and it might just be the reset button you didn’t know you needed.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com

Ever feel like you’re watching your life from the outside, stuck in your head while your body goes through the motions?

In this deeply personal episode, Elena Joy shares the quiet, dangerous cost of being overly useful—and how many of us vanish in plain sight. From time-obsessed spirals to the ghosts of unlived queer memories, she explores what happens when we tie our worth to productivity, invisibility, or sacrifice.

But this episode is also a call to return. To presence. To embodiment. To thickening yourself back up so you’re not just useful—you’re whole.

In this episode:

Why your mind might be a time traveler—and how your body is your anchor

How queerness, patriarchy, and capitalism warp our relationship with time

The chilling moment Elena heard, “Lose yourself in service,” and realized she already had

A poetic retelling of how “Little Bit” disappeared—and fought her way back

A loving reminder that you don’t have to fade away to be good

Practical ways to reconnect with yourself when you're scattered, spiraling, or spent

✨ Truth Bomb from this episode:

“It’s so much easier to be useful than to be whole. But you were never meant to disappear.”

🔎 Ready to find out which kind of capacity you're running low on?Join Elena live for Joyful Office Hours and take the Leadership Capacity Assessment—normally only available to her private clients.

🗓 Thursday, August 21 at 1pm PST✅ It’s free, but registration is required: www.JoyfulOfficeHours.com

🔥 Want to prevent burnout before it sneaks up again?Grab your free Burnout Starter Kit with tools, scripts, and simple next steps to reclaim your energy.👉 www.BurnoutStarterKit.com

Subscribe, share, and send this to someone who's pouring from an empty cup.We need all of you. Thick and whole and gloriously present.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit elenajoyspeaks.substack.com