Unbreak My Heart

A stunner and hilarious, she captivated him in an instant. After entertaining many months of flirting over the cafe counter, they finally exchanged numbers to have their first date.

The magic was instant and it lasted a year. So what happened? He picked out a ring and she dropped a bomb: "I can't explain it, I just can't be with you anymore".

Blindsided, powerless, and devastated, Kris painfully watched his girlfriend - and his future - drive away. This breakup cost Kris his job and friendships.

It's been 2 1/2 years and the breakup haunts him on every first date. Listen as we explore how he's coped with his pain and how his behavioral patterns have him stuck without much hope for a happier future.

Towards the end of our chat, Kris has a few aha's. And even though he says he doesn't believe in closure, closure is what invites him to make peace with his past.

photo by Camilla Carvalho

I'm excited for you to hear this conversation between me and Jon because he gets real. Jon shares about two break up stories that have changed the course of his love life. At the start of this episode, you'll hear about Jon's fresh break up with, his partner Jason, who was emotionally unavailable. Even though Jon did the breaking up, could it have been by his partner's design? We wonder whether they even stood a chance, since Jon showed up as damaged goods from his previous break up. This is what has plagued him and made him nervous to show up, even today. Photo by: @whykei

High school romance is exciting, confusing and can have a life long impact on how we view love and future relationships.

In this episode we hear Jason, joined by his buddy Tanner, share about how he and his first love connected and ultimately fell apart. His break up haunted him with depression, insomnia, and his motivation to just show up every day.

After some time, support from family, friends and professionals - he's turning a corner towards a brighter outlook on life and love.

My conversation with Jason is rich with common relationship problems that tend to stick to our shoes like unwanted toilet paper from a dirty bathroom. I know, it's kind of a gross image. On the flip side, his break up story ends in the same way you shake off the bottom of your tacky shoe – by abandoning unpleasant grime and walking away with a sense of relief.

When you're young, do relationships really count as something real? If you like someone & they give you butterflies, does that mean you're dating and it's exclusive? What rules and boundaries make sense when you're in middle school and high school? What happens when your parents find out you're sexually active? What happens when someone cheats? What even constitutes cheating??? What happens when that new person becomes your best friend and then something special turns toxic and leaves you spun upside down and inside out?

Jason, his buddy Tanner, and I explore the ins and outs of these questions. You'll find yourself picking sides, putting yourself in different shoes and reflecting on similar memories.

At a junior high dance which they describe as "sinful and wildly inappropriate", Jason gets kissed by a girl who has a rape-y vibe. The kiss happened against his will and he felt violated. Not only were his personal boundaries disrespected, he knew this was going to create trouble and drama with his first true girlfriend.

Short soap box – If you're attracted to someone – it's important to get clear consent before taking something from someone that they aren't wiling or ready to give you. It can be uncomfortable to find ways to get consent, sometimes it seems like we're overcome by our desire and we lose control. That is unacceptable and inexcusable. There is a better way! Should this be something you relate to – it's never too late to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Lasting impressions and scars can linger for a lifetime. Be someone who elevates others, not scares them into hiding.

As Jason's relationship progresses throughout highschool he finds himself, for the first time, starting to care deeply for someone that is not family or a close friend. The sacred place of trust he has behind his invincible shield gets poisoned when his girlfriend calls him distraught after drinking and playing spin the bottle.

We have options when someone tells us something important like this. She cheated. She told him right away. What happens when someone you care about hurts you? Do you throw the relationship away? Become super protective or controlling? Hide and act like it wasn't a big deal?

Listen to our show, episode number 2, "I'm not even sure why" to hear how Jason handled this situation. You'll learn a lot of insights and hear about the impact this relationship, and ultimately, their break up had on him.

They had everything going for them. It started out in college, they were best-friends who fell in love. After college, this bright and independent woman found herself helplessly dependent on a man for survival through years of moving from place to place. We'll hear in hindsight what went wrong and the sharp way it ended. Keep listening because Stephanie shares a second story where we find out she's single but she's really in a relationship aka "an item". The second guy delivers a powerful sting, this time the outcome is much different. No more weepy calls home to Mom from the closet. Photo by @jordanbauer

In this episode you'll hear how Jessica reflects on abusive patterns in relationships, how they've effected her outlook on monogamy, sexual orientation and love. This conversation transitions from recognizing patterns to discovering what is truly holding her back from healing!

photo by @amytreasure

audio engineering and production by Danny Chau