Uncorking a Story

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride, has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, his book THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong: we simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills.

Why did Matthew’s marriage go south? How did a call to a therapist motivate him to turn his experience into a blog and later a book? What’s the dating reality for people in their 40s? Matthew discusses all of this and more in this insightful episode.

What you will Learn in this Episode

• How we accidentally damage our relationships via habits that we honestly don’t know are harmful. This is how good people end up being “bad” spouses.
• How few things can destroy relationships as reliably as inequality in our shared domestic responsibilities (usually housework and parenting).
• Why the quality of intimacy correlates closely with how competently we manage and participate in this shared domestic work. Men, in particular, should take heed. If she feels like your mom, she’s not going to want to sleep with you.
• Why two relationship-damaging habits “invisible” to many people are especially harmful because we often don’t notice them or the paper-cut wounds that build up because of them — our tendency to invalidate others’ emotional experiences when we disagree with them; and our frequent failure to consider a partner’s emotional wants and needs when making decisions due to thoughtlessness or forgetfulness.
• That relationships require safety and trust in order to survive and thrive. Unfortunately, many people are blind to the ways we accidentally erode trust or take away another’s sense of safety through our daily routines. Our relationships crumble to the point of no return, often while one or both partners are too busy or distracted to notice.

Where to buy Matthew Fray's This is How Your Marriage Ends

Amazon | Bookshop.org

Visit https://matthewfray.com/ for more information.

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Imagine that one simple, humbling question could change the trajectory of your career forever. By simply asking his clients, “What would you do if you were me?” today’s guest, John Saunders, uncorked the guidance he needed to excel in his role as a Wall Street SVP and sales team leader. He joined me to talk about parlaying his wisdom into a book and his career as a coach.

MEET JOHN SAUNDERS

John Saunders spent many years as a Wall Street Senior Vice President, sales team leader, and award-winning sales executive. He followed his passion for helping others grow and founded coaching and consulting company, Forward Advisory Solutions. He’s also the author of The Optimizer: Building and Leading a Team of Serial Innovators.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE:

• John’s career in sales and how he took it into overdrive
• How John pivoted to becoming and author
• How a pitch meeting led to John’s new career as an author coach
• Why we sometimes need to look inside, rather than outside, to overcome limitations

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH JOHN

• Look inside. John is fond of saying, “The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.” If things are not going right in your life or career, look inside and identify what you can change. Oftentimes after accepting responsibility for outcomes, we can get past our limitations and excel in our lives and careers.
• Align structure and story. When writing a book, you must start with a solid structure for what you want to write about, but it is important to balance that structure with a compelling story to keep readers engaged.
• Solicit feedback. John helps authors get published by helping them navigate a structured process involving pre-selling, beta readers, and editors. The pre-sale is an important component as it serves as a proof of concept. Once a project gets the greenlight and an author starts developing content, they are asked to share their work with those “investors” along the way. During this humbling process, the author learns what works, what doesn’t work, and can create a stronger, more marketable book.

WHERE TO BUY THE OPTIMIZER: BUILDING AND LEADING A TEAM OF SERIAL INNOVATORS

Amazon  | Bookshop.org

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH JOHN

Website: https://www.johncsaunders.com/

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jcs-optimizer/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jcs_optimizer/ 

MEMORABLE QUOTE FROM JOHN

“Creation is an incredibly powerful force, and if you want to find something interesting to do in life, immerse yourself in something and create something out of that. You'll find a great outcome from that.”

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One of the biggest challenges for a new author is to find their voice while writing something that will make a difference in the world. That's why Linda Griffin decided to become a book coach and help new authors find their path through the publishing process. Linda shares her story of how she became a book coach and why she’s motivated to help new authors tell their story. She explains the importance of following the right process and providing guidance along the way.

MEET LINDA GRIFFIN

Linda Griffin who a published author and book coach. Her mentoring program is designed to give busy professionals, coaches, consultants, CEO’s and business owners a step-by-step process to write and publish a non-fiction book based on their knowledge and expertise.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• Why she pivoted from her desire to work in travel and hospitality to a career as an author coach.
• What she learned about writing and publishing the hard way.
• Her role as an author coach and why it is important for authors to consider hiring one.
• The three important questions she asks aspiring writers to answer before beginning the process.
• How she motivates new authors who are struggling to put the words in their head onto a piece of paper.
• Who the ideal candidates for her program are.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH LINDA

• Ask for help. Being a new author can be tough. Not only do you have to worry about the creative aspects of writing a book, but you also need to navigate the murky waters of the publishing world. Fortunately, book coaches can provide valuable guidance and support throughout the process; from the initial brainstorming stage all the way through to publication.
• Follow your passion. There's something special about writing a book. It's a passion that not everyone understands, but for those of us who do, it's a path we can't imagine not taking. Writing is our love language. It’s our way of communicating our deepest thoughts and feelings and it’s how we make sense of the world around us. When we share our writing with others, it has the power to change lives.
• Find your path. Linda started out wanting to be in the travel industry and thought that writing would be a good way to help her break into it. After realizing that writing is her true passion, she pivoted and became a writer and an author coach. Now she helps people find their way on the writing path.
• Start with 3 questions. Linda encourages authors to ask themselves the following questions: who are you writing this book for? How will their live be better if they read your book? What do you want the book to do for you? The answers to these questions should serve as the foundation for your work.
• Be teachable. Being teachable is one of the most important traits an author can have, especially if they're new to the publishing world. A book coach is someone who guides authors through the writing process, from start to finish. They'll be able to offer advice and feedback on your work, as well as provide insight into the publishing industry. As a book coach is a partner in this journey, it's important that you trust their judgment and be open to their suggestions. 

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM LINDA

“Follow your passion. Write about something that you're passionate about, because you're going to bring that energy with you to the book”

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH LINDA

Buy her books: Amazon

Website: https://www.expertauthor411.com/

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindagriffin/

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Every now and then I get a reminder that I’m only human, and that reminder came in the introduction to this episode where I mispronounce the title of my guest’s book. Thankfully, Beth Anstandig had a sense of humor about it, and we had a good laugh. It is someone apropos, as laughing is a part of the human experience and that was a big topic of conversation today!

MEET BETH ANSTANDIG

As a self-described life-long cowgirl, licensed psychotherapist, and professor Beth Anstandig has 25 years of experience developing, implementing and training people in Natural Leadership, a model she pioneered. She’s trained thousands of leaders and teams from some of the most renowned corporations, universities, and nonprofits, helping them awaken their innate power and awareness to live, lead, and work with more authentic relationships and connection. Her book, The Human Herd: Awakening our Natural Leadership is available wherever books are sold.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS PODCAST:

• How observing animals impacted her life at a very young age.
• How she identified and nurtured a love of writing.
• Why she pivoted from an academic to becoming a writer.
• The Natural Leadership model explained.
• The idea behind her book: The Human Herd: Awakening Our Natural Leadership

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH BETH

• At an early age, Beth was fascinated by animal behavior and how it differed from that of humans. Her curiosity guided her to her present career where she coaches people on making more authentic connections to others.
• Writing as an escape. For Beth, writing has always been a way to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life. It's a safe place where she can retreat from the outside world and explore her own thoughts and feelings.
• The herd. Animals have always been a big part of Beth's life, and she sees something in them that she doesn't see in many humans—honesty and freedom. When Beth watches animals, she feels as though they are living in the moment and not afraid to show their emotions.
• Following the human herd. It's important to remember that being honest about our needs is not a sign of weakness, but a strength. It shows that we are confident enough to express ourselves and be vulnerable. When we are honest about our feelings and needs, we open up the possibility for deeper connections with others.

WHERE TO BUY THE HUMAN HERD:

Amazon | Bookshop.org

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH BETH

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecircleupexperience/

Website: https://www.thecircleupexperience.com/about/

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethanstandig992861132/

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM BETH

“Reading poetry has always been huge for me; it really broke down so many barriers and allowed me to find my own voice. Sometimes it was imitating voices or there were lines that would inspire me and serve as a launching place. The more I did that, the more I was becoming part of a family of poetry and feeling like it has its own current like a river. It is important for artists to become part of the world that their art resides in.” 

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Over the years on Uncorking a Story, I’ve interviewed many lawyers who have tapped into their creative side and written a debut novel and I can now add Matthew Necci’s name to that list. Who is the inspiration behind the story? What motivates him to write? How important was his wife’s support in moving him from aspiring to published author? Listen in to hear the answers to these questions and hear his perspective on my beloved UConn Huskies.

MEET MATTHEW NECCI

Matthew Necci is the author of The Road Will Someday Bend. He is a practicing attorney by trade, with a penchant for social media and community building. Matt's daily musings about the UConn Huskies, the New York Mets, Greater Hartford, and the Adirondacks can be found on Twitter: @UConnNetch

KEY TOPICS IN THIS PODCAST:

• How he identified a love of writing early in his life.
• Why he approaches legal briefs as exercises in persuasive storytelling.
• The importance of encouragement in the writing process.
• Why he started writing his debut novel The Road Will Someday Bend.
• The importance of vulnerability in the writing process.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH MATTHEW

• The power of encouragement. Matthew and his wife have a true partnership. She not only encouraged him to write his debut novel but also helped edit his work.
• Tell the story you want to tell. Matthew was inspired by his grandfather’s life—an Italian immigrant sent to the United States by his family in pursuit of a better life who found himself drafted into the Army fighting against his kinfolk. While Matt’s book is a novel, it is based in large part on his Grandfather’s experiences in the war.
• Being open to pivot. When it comes to writing fiction, Matt understands that having an outline is important, but flexibility to pivot during the writing process is very important.

WHERE TO BUY THE ROAD WILL SOMEDAY BEND

Amazon | Bookshop.org

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW

Website:  http://www.matthewnecciwrites.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/UConnNetch

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uconnnetch/

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-necci/  

MEMORABLE QUOTE FROM MATTHEW

"My wife is my absolute partner in everything. Every time I'd write a chapter, she would be the first person that would read it and give some third-party thoughts about where the story was going. And I kind of made the commitment to her that I knew I was going to finish this book. I wanted her to be brutally honest, so that if she was really interested, I was going to keep showing it to her. And if she wasn't interested, I think I still would have finished, but I'm not sure I would have gone about putting it out in the world the way I did. So I'm incredibly thankful for her."

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The stories my father has told me about his childhood are ones that have stayed with me. There are stories about the ice cream shop he worked in, the pranks he played on his bus driver, and the trouble he used to get into with his partner-in-crime Bobby MacGyver, but the one that always stuck with me was one he’d tell about his mother. My grandfather was a police officer in New Rochelle and my dad would tell me my grandmother would ask him to bring home a pint of ice cream and she’d eat it while waiting for him to walk through the door after his shift had ended. I can vividly picture her waiting in a chair by the door eating coffee ice cream while anxiously waiting for my grandpa to come home. I share this because today’s guest, Karen White, was also impacted by some of the stories her father would tell her as well and elements of those stories are featured in her bestselling novels.

MEET KAREN WHITE

Karen White is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of 31 books, including the Tradd Street series, The Last Night in London, Dreams of Falling, The Night the Lights Went Out, Flight Patterns, The Sound of Glass, and A Long Time Gone. She is the coauthor of All the Ways We Said Goodbye, The Glass Ocean and The Forgotten Room with New York Times bestselling authors Beatriz Williams and Lauren Willig. Her latest novel, The Shop on Royal Street, came out on March 29th.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• How reading was a form of escape for Karen
• How her dad’s real ghost stories impacted her imagination and writing
• The role of encouragement played in Karen’s writing journey
• Why she went from being a reader to a writer after becoming a mother
• The idea behind her new series first book
• Why validation is important for authors

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH KAREN

• Writing as an escape. Karen enjoys escaping into a good book. For her, it's more than just entertainment; reading actually provides an opportunity for self-reflection and world excavation that she can't get any other way!
• When she was young, Karen’s dad used to tell stories about growing up poor in the South during the Great Depression. These stories stayed with her and elements of them wind up in her own writing.
• The importance of encouragement. Karen's 6th grade teacher saw potential in her and encouraged to explore her talent, which put her on the path of becoming an author.
• Just do it. Karen takes a page out of the Nike playbook while dishing out advice to aspiring authors—to just do it!

WHERE TO BUY THE SHOP ON ROYAL STREET

Amazon  | Bookshop.org

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM KAREN

 “Just do it. My sixth-grade teacher used to say where there's a will there's a way. I know a mother of four who just who started writing she's now a New York Times bestselling author. She would get up at four o'clock in the morning to write before she had to get up with the kids and then go do her full-time job. So, where there's a will there's a way. Don’t’ picture anybody looking behind you; write the story that you want to write, and then the rest will fall into place.

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH KAREN

Website:  https://www.karen-white.com/

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/karenwhitewrite/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/KarenWhiteWrite

If you liked this conversation, please tell a friend about it as well as like, rate, and review Uncorking a Story wherever you get your podcasts.

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Imagine walking into a newspaper editor’s office, interviewing for a job as a sportswriter having never written a sports related article before, getting the gig and totally rocking it. That’s just what Carol Finizza did and I’m very excited to share her story with you today.

MEET CAROL FINIZZA

Carol has had a passion for storytelling since crafting articles for her college newspaper. She was a former sportswriter for the Orange County Register and a regular contributor to Orange Coast Magazine. She is the author of The Surf-Vival Handbook for Land and Sea, a girl’s guide to life at the beach. Murder on Hollywood Beach is her debut novel in The Messy Girl Murder Series.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS PODCAST

• When she discovered her talent for writing and storytelling
• How writing can be a form of therapy
• The true story that inspired Murder on Hollywood Beach
• Why aspiring writers should be fearless and to follow their passion.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH CAROL

1. Writing is therapy. Writing can be a form of therapy and can be used as an escape from the reality of the world. It can be used to explore emotions and thoughts that might be difficult to express out loud.
2. Follow your curiosity. Curiosity is fuel for authors, who follow their noses to interesting—and sometimes unlikely—places for the benefit of their readers.
3. Be persistent. Writing is a talent and like any other talent it must be nurtured and developed through practice and persistence. Most authors will be rejected many times before getting that publication deal and being a successful writer means more than just having the ability to put words on paper; it requires dedication, discipline, and a willingness to continue learning and growing as an author.
4. Sharing is caring. Writing communities are a wonderful place for beginners and experienced professionals alike to hone their craft. By sharing their knowledge and being generous with their time, experienced writers can help those just starting out on their writing journey.
5. There’s always room for improvement. Carol's love for writing was always there, even though she’ll be the first to tell you that she wasn't the best at spelling or grammar. However, she was able to overcome this limitation by making herself vulnerable and asking for help from others.

WHERE TO BUY MURDER ON HOLLYWOOD BEACH

Amazon  Bookshop.org

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH CAROL

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolfinizza/

Website: https://www.carolfinizzaauthor.com/

Linked In:  linkedin.com/in/carol-finizza-10079525

MEMORABLE QUOTE FROM CAROL

“What  I would say to any writer like me, is to follow your heart. It’s a passion and you have to take the word can’t out of your vocabulary. Don’t let the obstacles of what other people say or think get in your way.”  

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I have a confession to make–I always wanted to be a gameshow host; unfortunately, I have a face for radio. That said, a guy can dream and I always saw myself hosting Jeopardy and if there was a clue about today’s guest it would be, A Pulitzer Prize winning author who does not identify as a writer. The answer, of course, would be ‘Who is Debby Applegate?’

MEET DEBBY APPLEGATE

Debby Applegate is an American historian and biographer. She is the author of The Most Famous Man in America: The Biography of Henry Ward Beecher, for which she won the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for Biography or Autobiography. Her latest book is Madam: The Biography of Polly Adler, Icon of the Jazz Age. 

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• How Debby transitioned from a career in academia to a career as a writer.
• What she found most curious about the life of Henry Ward Beecher.
• The inspiration behind her latest biography about a Madam during the Jazz Age.
• The noteworthy people, including a US President, who were known to visit Polly Adler’s brothel.
• Our mutual appreciation for The Love Boat!

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH DEBBY

1. Research pays off. Debby is a research addict, which explains why it took over a decade to write Madam. It paid off though, the book was an instant bestseller, earning well-deserved recognition from audiences and critics alike.
2. Get them turning the page. Debby’s contract for her first book, for which she won a Pulitzer Prize, was canceled by the publisher after they received some early chapters. Debby decided to take it upon herself to learn how to write in a way that would keep readers turning the page. To do that, she studied how to write mysteries, thrillers, and even pornography! 
3. Be resilient. Many may have thrown in the towel after having their contract canceled, but Debby rolled up her sleeves and went back to the drawing board. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from successful authors like Debby is that talent alone isn’t enough to make it as an author—resilience is key.

WHERE TO BUY MADAM

AMAZON.COM; BOOKSHOP.ORG

GET IN TOUCH WITH DEBBY

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debbyapplegate/

Website: http://www.themostfamousmaninamerica.com/

Linked In:  linkedin.com/in/debby-applegate-0459446

MEMORABLE QUOTE

"My goal was to get the reader to read the next sentence and then the next paragraph. To then turn the page and, God willing, to get to the end of the chapter and then to the end of the boo. To do that, I had to get people wondering what's going to happen next, or what's going to be said next, or wondering why that thing that they just described happened. So I thought, well, okay, that means suspense essentially. How do you create a feeling of suspense that gets people to keep going? So I went to the library and looked up books about how to write thrillers and how to write mysteries, which I knew nothing about. And I started doing the exercise; what does my protagonist want? What is standing in the way of my protagonist? What is the backstory? What is the climax? I even read one great essay about how to write pornography because I mean, who succeeds better and putting ideas in your head than pornographers?"

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I’ve been following Cindy Gallop for some time on LinkedIn—she’s one of those LinkedIn influencers who certainly takes the boring out of the platform. If there is one word that I would use to describe her, it’s provocative, and I know that I’m not alone in feeling that way—she caught the attention of my moderator friend and colleague Laura Nozicka too. So, when Cindy said yes to an interview request, I just had to bring Laura along for the ride, and I am so glad that I did.

MEET CINDY GALLOP

Cindy has been called the Michael Bay of Business because, well ,she likes to blow things up. Her background includes over 30 years in brand-building, marketing and advertising. She started up the US office of ad agency Bartle Bogle Hegarty (BBH) in New York in 1998 and in 2003 was named Advertising Woman of the Year. She didn’t come onto the show to talk about that, though—she was eager to promote her new venture MakeLoveNotPorn and we had a blast—and learned a lot—but speaking with her.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

• How and empathy building exercise led her to start dating younger men
• Why she started MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP)
• Why she believes MLNP can change relationship dynamics for the better and put a nail in the coffin of rape culture
• How diversity is the backbone of empathy
• The importance of building diverse teams so that advertising can better reflect (and not stereotype) the consumers who are targeted by it

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM OUR TALK WITH CINDY

• Sex Education needs to Change. In the United States, we do not do a great job teaching our kids about sex beyond reproduction. In turn, kids watch pornography and learn about sex in a way that is not truthful and that can damage interpersonal relationships. MLNP is meant to show sex using real couples and provides a more truthful look at sexual relationships.
• We Must do Better. We need to hire, mentor, reward, and promote women and people of color in our creative teams in order to end stereotypes in advertising and speak to the people we are creating for in more relevant ways and using more relevant messages.
• The Best is Yet to Come. The marketing industry’s best days are ahead of it, and we won’t see them until we start building more diverse leadership and creative teams including women and people of color.

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM CINDY

“Advertising is an industry dominated by white men, especially in the creative department. You don’t have young, single black female creatives, or, importantly, older, single, black female creatives, who are in those creative departments with the power to create the ads that would really speak to you and me. Don’t even get me started on older women in advertising. Advertising is racist as hell. We need to end stereotypes in advertising. When you're a young, white male creative, it's really easy to default to a heterosexual married couple, you know, because you are dealing in stereotypes, because that's all you know. Whereas if you are an older black woman, creating the ad, boy oh boy we'd be represented very differently in that ad. That's the problem. It all goes back to hire, promote, welcome, champion, reward, compensate, and value diverse talent. And you'll be amazed at the creative output that you then get. Our industry thinks that its glory days are over. Our industry's glory days have not even begun, because we have not even begun to see what our industry could be with the talents and skills and creativity of women and people of color.”

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH CINDY GALLOP

MLNP Website: https://makelovenotporn.tv/

Website: https://cindygallop.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindygallop/

If you liked this conversation, please tell a friend about it as well as like, rate, and review Uncorking a Story wherever you get your podcasts.

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Many of you long-time listeners know that I’m the proud father of triplets—the fact that they are turning twenty in a few short weeks is mindboggling to me. What many of you don’t know is that my wife was on supervised bedrest in the hospital for six weeks before giving birth to them. I spent all but two nights with her in the hospital during that time, and, while I admired the hell out of her for the sacrifices she was making for our unborn children, it pained me to see how uncomfortable she was. As a very active person, it was very difficult for her to have so little movement during this time. In short, her freedom was gone. When I was pitched the opportunity to interview Aileen Weintraub about the memoir she wrote about her time on bedrest, I jumped at the chance, and am so glad that I did. It is an amazing conversation.

MEET AILEEN WEINTRAUB

Aileen Weintraub is an award-winning author, journalist, and editor whose latest book, Knocked Down: A High-Risk Memoir, is about a Brooklyn girl who moves to the country, gets married, and finds herself living in a rickety farmhouse, knocked up, and faced with the prospect of five months of bed rest. Despite the seriousness of the topic, and the craziness that so many life changes coming at her brought, Aileen delivered her story with warmth, insight, and a very healthy dose of humor.

KEY TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE:

• How, as a little girl, her relationship with a librarian inspired her career as a writer and author.
• How writing children's books restored the creativity that was missing in a previous job.
• How writing her memoir helped her deal with depression and improved her mental health.
• How pre-natal depression is not discussed as much as it should be.
• Why it was so important for her to include humor in her story.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM MY TALK WITH AILEEN

• Life is the curveball. The phrase life sometimes throws you curveballs is misleading. While it’s true that we all have good times and bad times, life is ever changing and it’s up to use to adapt to the changing conditions around us.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether you are trying to get published or need mental health counseling, resources are available to help. While it takes vulnerability to ask for help, there’s no shame in doing so.
• Getting a book should be considered a marathon, not a sprint. While many of us are eager to get our work out there as quickly as possible, take the time to embrace feedback from editors and beta readers. Doing so will make your book stronger, and more marketable.
• Be an advocate. Aileen observed that, while post-partum depression is a popular topic around new mothers, pre-natal depression is a reality that is not often discussed for mothers-to-be. High-risk pregnancies can leave a woman feeling as if they are failing because they have difficulty enjoying what they are told should be a very happy time. Aileen addresses this in her book and has helped other women feel as if they are not so alone while dealing with pre-natal depression.

WHERE TO BUY KNOCKED DOWN: A HIGH-RISK MEMOIR:

Amazon  Bookshop.org

HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH AILEEN WEINTRAUB

Website: https://www.aileenweintraub.com/

Instagram: @aileenweintraub

 MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM AILEEN

     “And one thing that I realized while writing this book, is that life doesn't throw you curveballs, life is the curveball, and nothing happens in a linear fashion. So, you don't get pregnant, have a high risk pregnancy, and then have something else bad happen. These things all happen together. And that's what life is. And so, for me, having a high-risk pregnancy, and finally processing my father's death, because here I am in bed five months in an old farmhouse, I know very few people, and now it's just me and my grief. And what I realized is, my father didn't want me to grieve, or at least that's what I thought, because he had always raised me to be very strong. And I think he knew what a sensitive person I was. So, I was trying to honor his memory by not letting it affect me. And then suddenly, I'm on bed rest. And I can feel myself slipping into this pre-natal depression, which by the way, nobody else talks about really. And so, if we're not happy and joyous during our pregnancy, we feel shamed because we should just be so happy that we are pregnant. And that is not the case for so many people. And so, it's really important to shed light on this. And what I realized, while I'm dealing with this depression, is that my father was dealing with depression. And it's not something I've ever understood, and being able to unpack that while on bed rest really helped me come to terms with who he was as a man.”

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