I made a new friend, Garrett, and he invited me to do a podcast swap!

We are still working on recording for Under the Umbra (and I still have one I'm editing with previous co-host Ian), but here is Electra being interviewed in a very freeform style on the Heave To podcast, where Garrett travels (sails!) the world and talks to interesting people! The audio quality is not great because we met in a pub and there was music playing in the background that we did not license and so our voices are missing the sounds that were the same as the music! Yay audio producing!

To listen on the episode's original feed: Link to Heave To on Apple Podcast! Link to Heave To on Spotify! Look for it on your own syndicator / podcatcher by searching for "Heave To"

Things referred to:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. (Links here are affiliate link and Electra would receive a tiny share of your purchase.) 🎧Buy Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents on Libro.fm 📚Buy Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents on Bookshop.org

The High Conflict Institute And a representative article of theirs with the four linked characteristics/traits. (I am not affiliated with HCI but their work has influenced my understanding.)

• Preoccupation with blaming others.
• All-or-nothing thinking.
• Unmanaged emotions that throw them off-course.
• Extreme behaviors (that 90% of people would never do)

My first listened-to podcasts which because audio literary magazines, still running today.

EscapePod

PodCastle

PseudoPod

The Guild of the Cowry Catchers, reorganized into a series called the Pirates of Wefrivain in 2021, by Abigail Hilton: the author's website or the author's shop

My favorite book to recommend for understanding the paradigm of what the F is happening right now!

Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets Through Capital, Power, and Labor by Alice Sparkly Kat (again, these are affiliate links) 🎧Buy Postcolonial Astrology on Libro.fm 📚Buy Postcolonial Astrology on Bookshop.org

My first ever recorded podcast was on EscapePod not PodCastle The auditory quality is not up to my current standards.

cPTSD stands for complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, not chronic

In this Part 2 of 2 episode, Jenna from The Way Witch and I discuss Umbra Barbie: How Barbieworld forces Empathy-Challenged Non-Collaborative Behavior.

Sections:

0:00    Intro Credits 1:06    Thanking Patrons 1:54    Content Warnings: Swearing (check your audience!); Mention of the supremacist cis hetero capitalist patriarchal empire we all live in a.k.a. the kyriarchy; the weirdness of “owning” small people as a white woman; Arts and Craft to make anatomically accurate dolls; play therapy to catalyze intimate partner violence and “drama” (a la real housewives?); Implicit and explicit systemic oppression of divergent people and Madness/Serious Mental Illness (Major Depression, BPD, SUD and ED, specifically); and mention of the movie’s cartoonish depictions of infanticide of babydolls in the first scenes. 2:34    Co-host intro: Jenna, The Way Witch 2:56    Grounding Prayer 3:40    Elec-Ture 6:08    The Human Being / Human Winner Masc(uline) Monomyth... so unsatisfying. 11:52    Human Giver Syndrome and The Mad (wo)Man in the Beach 21:52    Mad Kenough is not enough! 28:09:00    The Umbra perpetuates itself: How Barbieworld won't let St Barbie be loving to Ken or acknowledge group effort 35:09:00    Side Note: How much does RH hate being a mother, and some Surprise! DARVO bullshit at the end of the movie 37:26:00    Thesis: Mad Ken is an avatar for the experience of women within patriarchy, but he is judged by the diegetic co-residents of Barbieworld and the Real World, and by the non-diegetic audience and critics, according to masc/ableist standards for behavior, and he is abandoned according to ECNC behaviors, required to heal himself without support, and told this is a triumph and exciting, in order to maintain Hollywood’s access to Mattel’s brand material. Audio quality note: I added the addendum about music and fantasy of retribution when I was scanning the audio at 1.5 speed, so I accidentally recorded my aside at 1.5 speed and didn't catch that it was then slowed down when I rendered the MP3. When I get my mental ducks in a row, I will re-record that and re-upload it. 45:38:00    bonus critiques of white feminism 54:20:00    Unplanned Extra Thesis: The power of Decoding - we are hungry for revolution and we will find in emergent revelations. Long Live Fan Fiction! 1:05:03    Outro Credits

Please see the show notes at UnderTheUmbra.info for the slide show, (a transcript in the future) and the large number of references and links.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC.  Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission.  Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

In this episode, Jenna from The Way Witch and I discuss Umbra Barbie: How Barbieworld forces Empathy-Challenged Non-Collaborative Behavior.

Sections:

0:00.000    Intro / Credits 1:06.264    Thanking Patrons 1:54.734    Introduction Chat 2:53.174    Co-host intros with some dogs 3:38.284    Grounding Prayer (with dogs and roommates) 5:28.563    Getting Started - Umbra Barbie is chaotic because the movie is chaotic 10:45.451    Can't talk about Barbie without talking about our relationship to Barbie 21:46.801    In this essay I will...  (the agenda) 30:53.977    Capitalism as played by Mattel and The Patriarchy as played by Hollywood with the shadowy Kyriarchy looming behind 32:36.375    Ruth Handler's ECNC signs 39:34.734    Waves of Feminism, as conceptualized by me, are in development not in time 45:53.519    How (not) To Criticize Your Funders and Handlers (ha ha) 57:30.133    End Transition and review of Agenda

Please see the show notes at UnderTheUmbra.info for the slide show, (a transcript in the future) and the large number of references and links.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC.  Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission.  Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

In this episode, I talk with Mark Silver, M.Div. (he/him) about his new book Heart-Centered Business, which is released as a hardback on October 3, 2023. Audiobook and e-book formats are coming soon.  You can learn more about the book at Heart Centered Business Book dot com

Sections:

• 0:00:00 Intro Credits
• 0:01:07 Thanking Patrons and Supporters!
• 0:01:49 Introduction Chat: My history with this guest!
• 0:07:02 Introduction Chat: Heart-Centered Business book summary and Mark Silver's Bios
• 0:11:18 Grounding Prayer and Invocation
• 0:13:25 Quick Summary to catch Mark up with what this podcast is all about... into a very suave and subtle segue!
• 0:15:47 Introduction to Mark's model of Toxic Business Culture: We want to heal from toxic business culture; so what is it, and how can we heal from it and create thriving business and cultivate a community of heart-centered businesses?
• 0:20:47 American Capitalism and the values that fostered it became a default paradigm for belief and values; how do we notice that and then choose a different way? By Leaning In (instead of turning away or disavowing) the discomfort of the current paradigm, finding love even here, and then finding the core human interactions which can be performed wtih love and safety instead of self-focus and exploitation.
• 0:26:58 When we have the urge to disavow or turn away from, or just hold your nose and push through to use, the exploitative or self-focused (empathy-challenged non-collaborative) Toxic Business Culture, how do we learn to stand strongly in what we do without replicating the self-aggrandizing status quo?
• 0:37:23 One tool for finding the core of human interaction at the heart of business is to stay grounded in an invitation to find Divine Love in all interactions, to focus on creating safety and respecting sovereignity, a.k.a. appreciating people with warm empathy and engaging in collaboration.
• 0:44:07 Exploration of terms, lest our brains explode from talking past each other: collaboration and coming to consensus, making agreements (which, in editing, within this podcast's content I might call Setting Boundaries)
• 0:48:51 Last question: How to discern useful business coaching tools and programs from scammy, inexperienced exploitative systems that replicate the status quo for the enrichment of the person selling it to you (even if they have honest intentions)?
• 0:57:53 Remember! You can exercise Power and Influence and support your author and creator folks by pre-ordering or buying their books on the day they drop! Learning about the back-stage levers that make things work might seem squicky at first, but then you realize what LEVERage you have to create influence in your life and in others!
• 1:00:01 Outro Credits

References:

If Books Could Kill episode The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss on Apple Podcasts  and Spotify as they don’t seem to have a main webpage. Episode blurb: Have you ever wanted to escape the grind and follow your dreams? This week we're discussing "The 4-Hour Workweek," which reveals that all you need is a plan, a willingness to take risks and a modestly sized fraud operation built on Third World labor.

Heart of Business Book, link above And some samples of the Heart of Business content and vibe, to see if this book would be right for you! [Don’t] Buy Now! Don’t get taken in by the scammers  You can learn get a sample of the vibe by visiting Heart of Business  for their free articles,  TikTok Facebook for oldsters like me Medium

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC.  Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission.  Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

😄

In this episode, I'm reviewing some of my values for the show and how they might show up differently than you think, and offering a summary of my key take-aways of Empathy, Collaboration, Boundaries and Power.

No co-host this week. Just me talking into a microphone at yoOoooOooouuUuuu, my listeners! If you like conversations more than reading a script, you can skip this one because it's just a summary of episodes 2-11! But if those looked a bit long when you think about what to play, you can start here and then go back to the episode where you want to learn more!

Sections:

• 00:00    Intro Credits
• 01:00    Thanking Patrons
• 01:49    Introduction Chat and Content Warnings
• 03:18    Grounding Prayer
• 04:13    Discussion about Values (at the start of all shows)
• 07:40    Summary of thoughts about Empathy (Episodes 2-3)
• 10:55    Summary of thoughts about Collaboration (Episodes 4-5-6)
• 17:53    Summary and a bit of extra context about Boundaries (Episodes 7-8)
• 24:33    Summary about Power (Episodes 9-10-11)
• 30:14    Wrap-up
• 30:49    Outro Credits

If any of these summaries are a bit too short, feel free to return to the corresponding episode for 2-11 for more in-depth discussion, or join me on Patron and ask a question for more clarification!

Since this is just me talking into a microphone, there is a whole transcript, already!  😲 😲

Please see the show notes (link updated once it's ready) for the transcript and the small handful of references.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light.

Find the show's home at Under the Umbra .info!

Support the show via Patreon.com The show is supported by “Responsive” Patrons: Ellery and KC, as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

In this episode, we’re discussing Power! This is part 3 of 3, finally! The Co-Host is Ian, not currently findable!

The next episode will be a summary of the last five topics.

Sections

• 0:00:00    Intro Credits
• 0:01:06    Thanking Benefactors!
• 0:02:14    Introduction Chat, Content Warnings: Swearing! Please consider your audience and surroundings while listening! Brief referral to the holocaust. Quick descriptions of how abuses of power are often interpersonal violence, without detail. Mention of the 45th president and January 6th events, vaguely. Quick mention of JK Rowling and transphobia. Supreme Court corruption. Union strikes and government-corporate strike-breaking.
• 0:04:25    Ian's Intro section
• 0:05:34    Grounding Prayer
• 0:06:28    strike review - striking is a lateral move to set boundaries in the face of non-collaboration because people who face non-collaboration continually escalate until they are acknowledged
• 0:09:28    Treatment for learned helplessness is small actions of empowerment, and noticing responsibilities
• 0:09:59    Power called "agency" (which I reject) versus Sense of Coherence
• 0:10:41    Sense of coherence by Aaron antonovsky
• 0:15:07    interjection: salutogenic, generating health aka the Latin word root Salus like the Spanish sneeze-response "!Salud!"
• 0:16:04    Finish explaining Sense of Coherence as a method of auditing one's Power, and how you've been rejecting learned helplessness, in a way that promotes health
• 0:22:00    Connecting Power To vs Power Over, Power Paradox of how true power is power to help others but a sense of powerlessness and lack of control makes us switch to power over others, and how to audit power by tallying your sense of coherence.
• 0:25:36    Elec-ture at the end!
• 0:45:45    Outro Credits

References mentioned in the show can be found in the show notes! I also have a transcript to the Elec-ture.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light!

Support the show via Patreon.com Thanks to my Patrons KC and Ellery, and many others, for supporting the show!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

In this episode, we’re discussing Power!

This is part 2 of 3.

The Co-Host is my longtime friend Ian, and he and his girlfriend have an upcoming project of artisan soap. I’ll share more info once they get it set up. If you’d like to help out or mentor them on soap distribution, let me (Electra) know and I’ll get you in contact!

Sections

• 0:00:00    Intro Credits
• 0:01:06    Thanking my Patrons
• 0:02:14    Introduction Chat
  • Content Warnings... I am a bit unfocused and probably missed some. If you let me know via Patreon, I'll update the show notes here.
• 0:06:40    Ian's Intro section and our relationship - Japan
• 0:07:54    Grounding Prayer
• 0:08:48    Return to Dacher Keltner's book The Power Paradox... and the Paradox revealed by his team's research. But the paradox IS NOT INEVITABLE. There IS another way!
• 0:13:59    Examples in Public View (speculative): Elon Musk in 2023 as an example of erratic awareness of the power one holds based on how powerless he feels internally.
• 0:19:12    Interjection about Elon Musk, fact-checking (links in show notes!)
• 0:24:06    Also a feeling of powerlessness while actually holding power is something that plays out in the small scale, like in family, small business, religious communities...
• 0:25:37    Intentional or negligent/carelessness keeping a large populace too powerless individually: reflecting on WGA (and now SAG-AFTRA) strike and Glacier NW Supreme Court Case ruling that undermines the workers' collective power and enhances the corporations' collective power
• 0:34:37    Unions are collective power, and by collaboratively funding them, it creates security for all members and all industry colleagues
• 0:37:01    Interjection: 1980s? Oops, actually 1947 and then 2018.
• 0:38:20   Back to WGA strike and Glacier NW v Teamsters
• 0:41:37    These were decisions. There are alternatives. It seems overwhelming, too many threads to tangle. But if we focus on the values of empathy and collaboration that we want, it's easier to recognize which threads to pull... and I think we're not alone in feeling the current values of self-focus and zero-sum competition are untenable.
• 0:43:56    Interjection of self-disclosure and why the episode is out so many weeks delayed! Skip forward 4 min 30ish sec to ending credits if you want.
• 0:48:25    Outro Credits

References to the show (and there are a lot, a lot, a lot) can be found in the show notes! As well as a transcript of the Elec-ture.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light.

Find the show's home at Under the Umbra .info!

Support the show via Patreon.com The show is supported by “Responsive” Patrons: Ellery and KC, as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

In this episode, we’re discussing Power!

This is part 1 of 3.

The Co-Host is my longtime friend Ian, and he and his girlfriend have an upcoming project of artisan soap. I’ll share more info once they get it set up. If you’d like to help out or mentor them on soap distribution, let me (Electra) know and I’ll get you in contact! He is currently not find-able.

Sections

• 0:00:00    Intro Credits
• 0:01:06    Introduction Chat
• 0:10:36    Ian's Intro section and our relationship via Japan
• 0:12:13    Grounding Prayer
• 0:13:09    talking about Power in conflict
• 0:14:23    Alicia Garza and #BLM - 2015 - power TO versus power OVER
• 0:15:12    Sword of Damacles and Power - hidden costs, hidden anxiety
• 0:18:00    more about Power To and cold rational wielding stems from Western beliefs about purity reductionism and hierarchy; can compare to Eastern philosophy of phasic and overlapping nature of reality, relative and holographic; and realize There Is An Alternative
• 0:21:50 Philosophies/paradigms are Made True through punishing or ignoring anything that disagrees and rewarding and extolling anything that confirms it, so in the US linear hierarchies look like There Is No Alternative; this makes people who could use Power To inclined to disavow their power because it's associated with Power Over as the only option when it isn't.
• 0:22:54    What happens when we disavow our Power? 1) We don't act when we could, and 2) When we do act, we flail and clumsily cause harm. Also informed by Heart Of Business class Money & Power "I am wearing sturdy boots" analogy
• 0:24:33    Linear Hierarchy is linked to Zero-Sum Game; a reminder that there is also an alternative to that thinking. News correspondent and Wealth Pie; Terry Pratchett and Poverty Is Expensive Boots parable
• 0:28:58    Dacher Keltner's The Power Paradox and useful definitions (derived from trying to do research and get specific): Control = influence over self and immediate environment; Power = Influence over others and larger environment
• 0:31:10 Digression about Alpha Males and debunking that whole concept
• 0:35:05    Sidebar - Diving Reflex - splashing cold water on your face triggers nervous system state-change?
• 0:36:20    The Power Paradox: you are given power (influence over others) when you are kind, trustworthy, and of service; but if you perceive you have power and attempt to use it for control, you can lose trustworthiness and then lose power.
• 0:37:19    Outro Credits

References mentioned in the show (and there are lots) can be found in the show notes.

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light.

Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info 

Support the show via Patreon.com. Thanks to Ellery and KC for supporting the show!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera Alcorn!

In this episode, we’re discussing Boundaries!

This is part 2 of 2. The next episodes will be about Power.

The Co-Host is Jenna Bowers and here’s where you can find her work (and another cameo of her familiar Willoughby): TheWayWitch • Instagram • TikTok • Facebook

• 0:00:00    Intro Credits
• 0:01:06    Introduction Chat with Content Warnings: swearing; all sorts of descriptions for boundary crossings and violations. Just, so many.
• 0:04:29    Grounding Prayer
• 0:05:24    Jenna Intro
• 0:06:10    The biggest barrier to "setting boundaries" in our American Culture is the false idea of individualism - Boundaries require collaboration or at least acknowledgment, and discovering you didn't have as strong boundaries as you thought is painful no matter the other intersectional privilege
• 0:09:38    Exercise: step 1 - where is ME, where are my current boundaries, where do I want them to be, where do other people have them?
• 0:11:34    Interjection: in cases of long-term coercive control, especially with children, there might not be a bastion in their mind; Victor Frankl went into the holocaust already a trained psychologist
• 0:13:11    Interjection: Anne of Green Gables used imagination to survive trauma, but she is depicted as having a secure family for her first 3 years of life
• 0:14:20    Exercise: Step 2 - how rigid or flexible do I need my boundary in this realm with this person to be?
• 0:15:33    Exercise: Step 3 - In what realm(s) are the boundaries you are setting? and, over what span? and again, research/investigate how others are managing boundaries even in overwhelming situations.
• 0:17:30    Exercise: Step 4 - Boundary versus Ultimatum or "empty threat"
• 0:22:51    The way you set boundaries is (1) where can I set them now (2) how rigid or flexible right now (3) What realm do I need to set them in (4)  What can I do if they are crossed or violated? and (5)1234 evaluate-circle back around
• 0:23:42    Reflections? important clarifier for steps 1-3: what is it I need here? and self-contained ways to enact No. 4 of What Can I Do If...
• 0:27:32    Interlude into Dissociation and Freeze as valid and necessary responses as Step 4 if that's what power you have. All human responses have times when they are the appropriate response, and maybe a lot of times they aren't.
• 0:30:10    Considering that what you have access to is what you have access to, how do you start experimenting with establishing and expanding on responses for Step 4 and revisiting steps 1-4?
• 0:31:09    Interjection: sometimes boundaries are further crossed and violated and so the next step is distance or estrangement if that is possible; that usually comes only after many iterations of the experiment are done. Full estrangement or "canceling" almost always occurs because something in the interactions or the environment has already shown copious evidence of an inability to trust that boundaries will be respected.
• 0:37:27    Summary of self-based resources for Step 4...  Is it only removal of self? You may have community and society to rely on, and have more power and influence than you think. If you don't have power up and down the current hierarchy, that's why Trickster Gods gave us models for lateral moves. Again, it needs experimentation.
• 0:43:57    Inaccurately told story of musician Afroman whose house was invaded by police so he made a music video, accurate details in show notes below
• 0:46:51    Cameo / Guest Appearance by Jenna's familiar Willoughby reminding us that sometimes Fight/Verbal aggression and willingness to escalate is also acceptable
• 0:47:52    Summary of Step 4: You figure out what works, under your solo power, under your community power, or lateral-move power, and you keep experimenting.
• 0:48:30    Bonus Interjection with Current Event thoughts about Unions and boundaries but a timer on my phone cut it off mid-rant and I just can't record any more audio before publishing. Ah well.
• 0:55:57    Outro and Credits

Here’s my proposed method of finding your own boundaries:

1. Develop a sense of yourself and you-ness; how far does your influence reach? Is it centered on yourself or do you need to work towards that goal? Wherever you can find your safest, most secure edge, that’s where you start setting boundaries.
2. How flexible or rigid do you need this boundary to be?
3. What realm do the boundaries need to exist on? Physical (walls), emotional (no longer co-regulating another person), time or priority (I will not fetch you coffee if I have a project deadline)
4. Figure out how you will tell if the boundary is crossed, and what you will do to enforce the boundary or find a way to get to a safe space. Boundaries and Consequences are not the same as Ultimatums and Threats.
5. Repeat steps 1-4 in many situations with many people and systems.

References mentioned in the show can be found in the show notes!

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light.

Find the show's home at Under The Umbra dot Info 

Support the show via Patreon.com. Thanks to KC and Ellery for supporting the show!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle selected by Vera Alcorn!

In this episode, we’re discussing Boundaries!

This is part 1 of 2. The next episodes will be about Power.

The Co-Host is Jenna Bowers and here’s where you can find her work (and another cameo of her familiar Willoughby): TheWayWitch • Instagram • TikTok • Facebook

• 0:00:00    Intro and Credits
• 0:01:06    Introduction Chat with content warnings: swearing; Woo and existence of people who identify as being a witch; boundary crossing & boundary violation discussion, e.g. NAFTA, Russia invading Ukraine, medical malpractice, and discussion of coercive rape related to a famous attempted manslaughter case in the early 1990s.
• 0:08:03    Grounding Prayer with meows
• 0:08:58    Jenna’s Intro - The Way Witch
• 0:11:02    Why should we talk about Boundaries? Why did I invite a professional witch on to talk about Boundaries?
• 0:16:03    So then what is a boundary? How do we look around at what boundaries already exist in the world to figure out our own? (credit to J. L. + R.B. workshop for learning this approach, link below!)
• 0:23:01    An exercise in exploring personal space and behavioral boundaries that requires empathy and collaboration; demonstrates how easy it is to cross boundaries even with non-malicious intentions, and then how it takes having your boundaries being respected to heal from boundary violations.
• 0:28:27    Interesting that we as a culture rarely explicitly talk about boundaries. Here are various realms for boundaries.
• 0:30:37    Useful  jargon: respecting, upholding, crossing, violating
• 0:35:15    Example from You're Wrong About podcast’s depiction of Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco: an older person exploits the ignorance of a younger person to violate many boundaries, and then in contrast with Big Strong and Kind desired behavior of more resourced people towards younger people
• 0:42:23    Review - what even are boundaries and who is defining them, upholding them, etc.; boundaries REQUIRE consent and collaboration and self-knowledge or community-cultural acceptance; if someone doesn't know where their boundaries are, it’s much harder to respect them
• 0:46:44    So how do you discover your own boundaries? Start thinking of the many realms where boundaries can reside and questioning where you have felt your boundaries were crossed or violated.
• 0:48:30    Digression into Comfort; and how Whose Comfort Is Respected and Protected is a major component of oppressive regimes, featuring an inaccurately remembered recounting of #LaughingWhileBlack 2015.
• 0:54:16    Digression and spoilers for next series about Power
• 0:55:28    Jenna's final summary for how fragile boundaries are thus far, contrasted with everyone's innate deserving of boundaries
• 0:56:40    Outro and Credits

References mentioned in the show can be found in the show-notes!

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let’s find our way back to the light.

Find the show's home at Under The Umbra dot Info 

Support the show via Patreon.com  Thanks to Ellery and KC for supporting the show!

This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle selected by Vera Alcorn!