Hi My Momafey Family,
If you’re in your 40s or 50s, you know the weight of being pulled in two directions—raising teens who are pushing for independence and caring for parents who are leaning on you more every day. And right in the middle is you, juggling your own body’s changes, energy dips, and the quiet question: How do I stay strong when I’m stretched so thin?
This week in Understanding Cycles by Momafey-HT, I’m sharing real insight on what’s happening in this season, what to watch for and practical ways to create stability without losing yourself.
Join in to become a paid subscriber— and unlock this newsletter. This is one you don’t want to miss. “Subscribe today and get the practical steps you need to be prepared for the Sandwich Season—balancing teens, aging parents, and your own changing body with strength and stability.”
PLUS+ receive a free download of The Women Who Carry It All Toolkit—your guide to balancing self-care, parenting, and caregiving with grace.
Motivate’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Ever feel like life is tugging at you from both sides, and no matter how much you give, someone still wants more? That’s the Sandwich Season. You’re raising teens who are stepping into independence, caring for parents who are becoming more dependent, and trying to hold yourself together through your own changes.
This season is demanding, but it doesn’t have to break you. Here’s what to watch for and how to stay grounded in the middle of it all.
Your strength isn’t proven by carrying it all; it’s revealed when you choose rest, ask for help, and still stand tall in your season.”
When Your Teen Pulls Away, Lean InThey may roll their eyes, shut the bedroom door, or answer you with one-word responses. It’s easy to think they don’t need you. But what you don’t see are the pressures building inside them—peer influence, body image struggles, anxiety about who they’re becoming. Teens may not ask for help, but they still need you.
Start small and casual. Pick times when they’re most relaxed—like in the car, during a meal, or while doing chores together. Teens often open up when they don’t feel pressured to “sit down and have a talk.”
Use open doors, not closed ones. Instead of “Did you do your homework?” try, “How’s that class feeling for you this week?” Instead of “What’s wrong with you?” try, “You seem quiet today—want to share what’s on your mind?”
Follow their lead. If they light up about a game, a friend, or a show, lean into it. Even if you don’t fully understand, showing interest tells them: I see you. I value what you value.
Share without oversharing. Tell a short story from your own day or from when you were their age. It makes you relatable and less like an interrogator. Then pause and let them respond.
Affirm more than you advise. Teens shut down when they feel judged. Instead of correcting every detail, try, “That sounds like it was tough—how did you handle it?” Affirmation builds trust; advice can come later.
Respect silence. Sometimes they won’t answer right away—or at all. Don’t push. Let the silence breathe. Often, they circle back later when they feel safe.
Be consistent. Connection isn’t about one deep conversation—it’s about steady rhythms. Daily check-ins, even short ones, remind your teen: You matter. I’m here. Always.
“Being in the middle doesn’t mean you’re stuck—it means you are the bridge holding generations together with love and resilience.”
When Parents Say I’m Fine, Look Closer
Your parents may smile and say everything’s under control, but sometimes what they mean is, I don’t want to burden you. Small things like forgetting details, struggling with bills, or hesitating to drive are signals that life is getting harder.
Instead of stepping in and taking over, begin by offering choices. This may sound like, “Would you like me to sit with you while we look at this, or do you want me to handle the call?” Giving options keeps them included in their own care.
Ask gentle questions about what feels harder these days. Sometimes it’s not the big things, but the smaller everyday tasks that feel heavy. Invite them to share without pressure.
Show up for appointments—not just to get them there, but to be their second set of ears, to take notes, and to ask the questions they may forget in the moment.
Listen more than you lecture. Let them tell their stories, their worries, and even their frustrations. Often, they just need to feel heard before they can accept help.
Pay attention to quiet changes. Watch for unopened mail, hesitations in movement, or repeating the same question. These small cues can point to bigger needs.
Celebrate their independence where it still exists. Acknowledge the things they’re doing well, and encourage them to continue those. This builds confidence instead of fear.
Build routines together instead of imposing them. A shared schedule—like setting reminders for medication or walking together after dinner—creates partnership rather than hierarchy.
Honor their history. Bring up old memories, family traditions, or even their past advice. It reminds them they still have wisdom and value to pass on.
When you combine respect with steady presence, trust grows naturally—and trust is what helps both you and your parents walk this season with more grace and less tension.
Conversations with Aging Parents Can Start Like This
“What feels harder for you lately that we can work on together?”
“Would you like me to sit with you while you do this, or would you prefer I handle it for you?”
“I noticed you seemed tired yesterday—how are you feeling today?”
“Do you want to try this together, or would you rather show me how you’ve been doing it?”
“What matters most to you about how we handle this?”
“I’m proud of how you’ve kept up with [specific task]. Do you want to keep that routine, or adjust it a little?”
“Let’s make a plan together so it feels comfortable for you.”
“You’ve always had good advice—what do you think about this situation?”
“I’m here for you, but I also want you to feel in charge. How can we make that happen?”
Your body whispering for care is not hopeless—it’s wisdom. Listen, honor it, and watch your strength return in new ways.”
When Your Own Body Demands Attention, Don’t Ignore ItYour 40s and 50s bring their own cycle. Hormones shift. Energy changes. Sleep may feel harder to get. Mood swings, hot flashes, and slower recovery are signs of perimenopause or menopause. And when you ignore them, everything else feels heavier.
Your body is telling you to take yourself seriously. Protect your rest like it’s sacred. Move daily, even in small ways. Hydrate like your life depends on it. Choose foods that fuel your energy instead of draining it. And hear me on this—if your symptoms become overwhelming, don’t push through in silence. Speak with your doctor. You deserve answers, not suffering in the dark.
Here’s where many of us get caught off guard. We think the aches, the fatigue, the sleepless nights are just part of getting older. But there are hidden signs women in their 40s and 50s must pay attention to, because missing them can cost us more down the road.
If you’re feeling unexplained fatigue that goes beyond just being tired, that could be your thyroid or hormones asking for attention. When your sleep keeps getting interrupted or you wake up still exhausted, that’s not just stress—it may be your body trying to reset during perimenopause.
Let’s talk about digestion. If bloating or irregularity is suddenly your new normal, that’s a signal. Your metabolism is shifting, and your body is asking you to listen. And then there’s the brain fog—the forgetfulness, the difficulty focusing, the feeling like your head is in a cloud. Too many women dismiss this, but it’s one of the loudest signals your body sends during hormonal change.
Even your skin and hair are storytellers. Dryness, thinning, shedding—these aren’t just vanity concerns. They’re whispers from your estrogen levels, telling you something is shifting inside. And when your body takes longer to recover from exercise or you’re sore from activities that never used to bother you, that’s not weakness. That’s a cycle shift.
The message here is clear: don’t ignore the signs. Don’t chalk it up to “just getting older.” Your body is speaking, and when you learn to listen, you give yourself the chance to thrive instead of just survive.
“You are not breaking under the weight of this season—you are being reshaped into the best version of yourself who knows how to balance, breathe, and bloom.”
You Were Never Meant to Do This AloneIsolation makes the weight of this season unbearable. Community makes it lighter. Studies show women who share their experiences and lean on support recover faster and handle stress better. Your circle could be a friend, a counselor, a support group, or this very community we’re building together. You’re not meant to carry this season by yourself.
Stability is not about perfection. It’s about standing firm even while life pulls you in two directions. Every small act of self-care, connection, and rest plants your feet a little stronger.
You are not breaking—you are balancing. You are not lost—you are learning a new rhythm. And with grace, wisdom, and intention, you will come out of this season stronger than you went in.
Thanks for Supporting the work. Unlock your free download of “The Women Who Carry It All Toolkit”—your guide to balancing self-care, parenting, and caregiving with grace
Use Code: H8C8DC
https://momafeyhometraining.com/shop-momafey-ht-finds/ols/products/ the-women-who-carry-it-all-toolkit-caring-for-yourself-supporting-parents-and-guiding-teens-with-grace
Now here’s the part you don’t want to miss. The next episode of Understanding Cycles by Momafey-HT takes us even deeper into midlife—the moments no one talks about, but everyone feels. If you thought today gave you clarity, wait until you hear what’s coming next. It could change the way you see your season forever.
Thanks for Subscribing to Substack , continue to join me live every Tuesday at noon for LIVE Q/A that keep you grounded, inspired, and equipped to rise in your cycle. Follow @momafeyht and visit momafeyhometraining.com for resources that keep the journey going long after the episode ends.
In the chaos of teens pulling away and parents leaning in, your stability becomes the anchor that steadies the storm.”
With love and stability,Faith – Momafey-HT
Resources & Footnotes:
* Mayo Clinic. Teen depression: Symptoms and causes. www.mayoclinic.org
* National Institute on Aging. Caring for Your Aging Parents. www.nia.nih.gov/caregiving
* North American Menopause Society. Managing menopause symptoms. www.menopause.org
* American Psychological Association. Stress in America: The Sandwich Generation. www.apa.org
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit understandingcyclesbymomafeyht.substack.com/subscribe
