For 30 years, Deborah Derrickson Kossmann was not allowed by her mother to come inside her Cherry Hill, New Jersey home.

When Kossmann finally got inside, she made a horrifying discovery: the house was filthy, filled with mountains of moldering trash. There was no running water, no functioning toilet – nothing had been thrown away in years. The smell was overpowering. How had this happened? Who was her mother?

Kossmann, who is now a clinical psychologist, mines her family’s history and her own to answer those questions. Her frank new memoir is titled Lost, Found, Kept. It’s about how she came to terms with her difficult mother and her traumatic childhood. She also explores the power of holding on and letting go of objects, fantasies, memories and relationships.