Undone Redone

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray sits down with Army Ranger Jeff Struecker to discuss what it means to be a man. Jeff and Tray discuss how we should mend men who are suffering from brokenness and how to build boys into men. We often try to grow up being a man without ever having someone properly teach us what it means to truly be one. Jeff explains how we can properly realize our masculinity without having to "ruffle a manly pose for our timid hearts." This is an episode you don't want to miss! For more information on Jeff, his speaking engagements, and his books, visit https://jeffstruecker.com/. Quotes: "What men need to realize is The opposite side of fear is not courage. The opposite side of fear is faith." "Courage is the willingness to do the hard right thing when nobody else will. Perhaps some of the most courageous things that a man does are the daily things of doing that right thing when nobody else is watching."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Gary Thomas to talk specifically to ministry leaders who are overwhelmed in the midst of an unprecedented time with COVID-19. Gary explains how ministry leaders need to identify their strengths in the church and when to recognize that something is outside of "their lane" so that they can allow others to take control of that work. This is an episode everyone can benefit from, but is specifically target to those who are leading churches throughout this difficult time. For more information on Gary Thomas, visit his website: http://www.garythomas.com/. Quotes: "I think one of the most important jobs we have as ministers of God is to have a sensitivity to evil. Jesus tells us NOT to be naive." "As we minister to those in broken relationships, here's how I know an unfaithful spouse has repented. It's when you say to your wife 'I will not go back into that house until I know you will not be controlled anymore."

Get Your Questions Answered!

Tray and Melody's journey has provided unique wisdom and insight in the areas of marriage, parenting, pornography addiction recovery, and betrayal trauma. Each Wednesday at 2 PM CST, you have the opportunity to have any specific questions you might have answered on Q&A with Mel & Tray, a new feature being offered by Undone Redone.

No question is off-limits. Click the link below to register for this FREE event. Submit your question at [email protected].

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with military spouse and minister Megan Brown. Megan works with the military community, specifically spouses, on how to connect into your community as a military spouse and increase community engagement with active duty members and veterans alike. Military life and the transitions it puts families through can bring challenges including marriage building, creating community, and finding a sense of purpose. Through empowering others to build their military life well, Megan works to help those facing challenges find a purpose and become a part of something bigger than themselves through Christ. Learn more about Megan on her website: www.meganbbrown.com & www.milspoco.com and on Facebook: @MegBrownWrites. Quotes: "Even when I was running at a breakneck pace in the other direction, God stayed in fierce pursuit. He is a God who sees, who loves, and who SAVES." "We have to know how all of scripture fits together. It will not do us any good to snip and splice scripture. We have to know the overall narrative." "We have a God-given call to push the gospel forward into our families, our neighborhoods, and our cities. It is my greatest hope to see revival swelling on the horizon, a wave of hope crashing into our world."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with trafficking survivor Christa Lynn. Christa tells Melody how she survived a life filled with neglect, addictions and trafficking, and how she is using that experience to help children, teens and young adults recover from the trauma of human trafficking. Christa Lynn works closely with One More Child, an organization that works to stand beside survivors of trafficking as they overcome vulnerabilities, obstacles and injustices to build dream-worthy lives. Our listeners can learn more about Christa and her work with One More Child at onemorechild.org Quotes: "We know that to break these generational cycles, that a community who prays together is going to be able to just walk this dark journey. It's a war. You're fighting to battle not just men and women who've been trafficked and exploited, but also the bitterness that Satan wants to use to have us continue in destruction." " I believe God uses prayer not just to transform us who've been exploited, but also to transform those who haven't been exploited, and to help them be able to access the compassion that can only come from God."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody host their first podcast from their new office. They talk about how God will often bring us back to the same crossroads in our lives, but with different results. Tray speaks to our listener's about how to walk these same crossroads without letting the shame narrative take over. He explains that the reason we can begin to find joy in the present is often because we remember where the Lord has taken us. This is a great episode for those feeling like they are walking the same path, but can experience a different outcome through God's grace. Quotes: "If we try to bury and forget the painful past, we aren't able to see the beauty of our present in such a drastic contrast." "When we're in the middle of pain, it's so difficult to see ahead to the future. That's why having hopeful peace can provide such relief. We may not be able to see where God is taking us, but He will take us to a better and brighter future."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with Kara-Kae James to talk about the challenges and triumphs of motherhood, particularly with postpartum depression. Kara is an author of 6 books and is passionate about seeing women's lives changed and impacted through the truth of God's Word. Kara explains that she knows so many moms out there are struggling like her and in desperate need of a reminder that God loves them. She works to help women engage in meaningful conversations about difficult topics and push them to rethink their lives by looking closer at themselves, the Church, and the world. Our listeners can learn more about Kara at http://karakaejames.com/ and can check out her books at https://www.amazon.com/Kara-Kae-James/e/B07N6K35VL%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share. Quotes: "If we are telling ourselves that we are enough, then where does that leave room for Christ, the One who came to die because we were not enough?" "My being able to admit I don't have it all together led to my actually being able to thrive as I allowed Christ to come in and fill all the gaps for me." "Motherhood can be a battle, but God has already given us the armor we need. We just need to suit up."

We all know that betrayal trauma is a pain unique to the men and women that have to face it. However, it is often so easy to focus on the end goal of where we are headed rather than the journey itself. Our guest on today's episode is Tanya McCaw, who sits down with Melody to share her journey through betrayal and reconciliation. She explains how she was married to a sex addict, what that betrayal looked like, and how she used the resources available to walk through the pain and brokenness that seemed to overwhelm her life. This is such an important story to hear, both for those currently experiencing betrayal trauma and those looking to help other women walk through that pain. Quotes: "The enemy loves to get in your head when you experience infidelity in a marriage. I kept asking myself 'well what if I were prettier? What if I had nicer legs or what if I kept the house cleaner?' and it works against you to keep you on that performance treadmill." "When you have a spouse that's addicted to pornography, often you are OVERworking because they are under working. You take on the role of BOTH mom and dad while you are still living with those feelings of 'I have to be better.' And from there you have to recognize that healing is going to be a process. It is going to take take for you to step down from that performance treadmill back to where God is calling you to be."

Our guest on today's show is Dr. Henry Cloud. Dr. Cloud is a New York Times bestselling author, and his books have sold over 10 million copies. He discusses the importance of making safe choices in relationships and setting appropriate boundaries, whether its friendships or romantic relationships. He explains how people can identify the traits that bring nurturing people into our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Tray and Melody are so excited to have Dr. Cloud on the Undone Redone Podcast and this is an episode you don't want to miss! Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Cloud's work at www.drcloud.com and www.boundaries.me . Quotes: "We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences often give us the pain that we need to become motivated enough to change." "The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the strength of that relationship." "People have to realize there is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone else. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Ericka Young to discuss tackling debt and other financial hardships in marriage. Ericka and her husband Chris carried loads of debt that included student loans, car payments, and a mortgage. They eventually found themselves in over $100,000 in debt, but were able to pay everything off successfully after being taught by the master of finance himself, Dave Ramsey. Now over ten years later, she helps both people and businesses transform their finances, careers, families and, most importantly, their futures. She explains the importance of discussing your finances with your spouse, even if it seems difficult to find the time or energy to do so. This is an incredible episode for those looking to talk about financial hardships with their spouses. Our listeners can learn more about Ericka by visiting her website: https://www.tailormadebudgets.com/ or on Twitter https://twitter.com/budgetsbyericka. Quotes: "When budgeting its SO important to make sure you include everything in that budget. A lot of people just view their budget as for their bills, when in reality they don't add dining, groceries and other everyday expenses. Make sure you add EVERYTHING to your budget." "Use cash when you make purchases because that is a finite resource and you can see yourself spending it. It's so easy to swipe a credit card and not think of the balance, but when you use cash, you see just how quickly you can spend it in certain places."