Undone Redone

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with author and banker Scott Shay. Shay is a Co-Founder and Chairman of Signature Bank and a longstanding Jewish community activist. He has started a Hebrew school, an adult educational program, and chaired several Jewish educational programs. Shay discusses his new book In Good Faith: Questioning Religion and Atheism, describes what motivated him to engage with the arguments of the New Atheists. He also explains that the temptation of idolatry did not disappear in the Old Testament but persists as part of human nature to this very day, and what we can do to work to counteract that temptation. Our listeners can learn more about Scott and find links to both of his books at https://www.scottshay.com/. Quotes: "We have a Jewish saying that states 'don't do unto other's what you wouldn't want done to you' and the rest is just commentary. That is so fundamental to being a believer." "The problem I try to discuss with idolizing reason is that reason can take you down a road to all of these awful places."

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Dr. Les Parrott to discuss strengthening your marriage. Dr. Parrott is a bestselling author, a professor of psychology at Northwest University, creator of the SYMBIS Assessment, and founder of the Parrott Institute for Healthy Relationships at Olivet Nazarene University. He and his wife Leslie are a husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy and stronger relationships. Dr. Parrott explains that a marriage can only be as strong as the two spouses in it and that often times we need to first work on strengthening ourselves before we can tackle issues in our marriages. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Parrott and his wife's ministry at https://www.lesandleslie.com/. For those interested in taking the SYMBIS assessment, you can visit https://www.betterlove.com/. Finally those who would like to know more about Dr. Parrott's book, Love Like That, can visit https://lovelikethatbook.com/.

Quotes: "You have to realize that your marriage can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in it." "Here's the bottom line: When you open your heart, love changes your mind. Your mind can do an about-face when it receives that divine impulse from the heart. That's why if you are just looking for a reasonable love, you will miss out on an extraordinary love."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Dr. Shannan Crawford to discuss post traumatic growth. Dr. Crawford is a licensed clinical psychologist, conference speaker, adjunct professor, and innovator-expert in Restoring Self-Cohesion. She explains the difficulty of overcoming severe trauma in our lives and the steps we can take to begin that recovery process. She shares her own stories of trauma with Tray and Melody and how God and His word can work to identify and eliminate internal blocks or triggers that hinder us from optimally thriving and fulfilling our life purpose. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Crawford's practice and speak engagements at www.drshannancrawford.com. Quotes: "Just as the body goes to the rescue of an injured limb, the soul aims to rescue the wounded part of the self." "The dreams you accomplish are less about what you do and more about the substance and character of who you are."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with award winning singer and songwriter, Charles Billingsley, to reminisce about their time at Samford University and discuss how sometimes the "perfect" image we strive for isn't the right one. Charles discusses his jump into music and how God really tested his strength and walk through his voice. Charles conveys the central message of his heart is to assist other believers in discovering a lifestyle of worship. He explains that every decision we make, every sin we commit is ultimately a worship issue, as a believer. Our listeners can learn more about tour dates, latest releases and Charles' speaking events on his website http://www.charlesbillingsley.com/. Quotes: "The greatest joy I have is that moment in a concert when you know people are truly engaging the Spirit of God and the Lord is moving." "Everybody worships something or someone, every moment of every day. So, who or what you're worshiping will determine the choices you make—financially, physically, everything." "I think the Lord often has to take things away from us in our lives to make us truly appreciate what we have been given. The old adage of you never know what you have until it's gone applies in your walk sometimes as well."

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with author and counselor Leslie Vernick. Leslie is the author of seven books, including the best selling, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and her most recent book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. She speaks with Tray and Melody about the difference between a disappointing relationship and a destructive relationship, and what we as spouses can do when we find ourselves in either type. Our listeners can learn more about Leslie and her work by going to her website: https://leslievernick.com/ Quotes: "When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you." "In some marriages, trying harder does not engender a reciprocal response. It has the opposite effect. It feeds the fantasy that the sole purpose of your life is to serve your husband, make him happy, and meet his every need." "Biblically loving your husband doesn't require you to prop him up in order to enable him to continue to hurt you."

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Rabbi Manis Friedman to discuss intimacy in marriage. Rabbi Friedman states that we all crave intimacy because It's essential to our emotional and spiritual health. Yet, he also explains that today's culture faces an intimacy crisis and often times, even when we're in a committed relationship, we still feel painfully alone. Our listeners can learn more about Rabbi Friedman at his website, https://itsgoodtoknow.org/ Quotes: "Intimacy flourishes in an atmosphere that is permeated with kindness, respect, and sanctity. True love grows within that atmosphere as well." "The mistake is that married couples don't need increased physical pleasure or better physical pleasure. What we need is closeness. Even more than that, we need oneness. We want and need the joy of intimacy." "Marriage is about creating a life that embraces and nurtures that intimacy. Intimacy is a state of grace that arrives and then hides. So even if we have achieved intimacy, we must continue to maintain it. We must constantly seek it out, cultivate it, protect it, and nurture it."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Joel Fitzpatrick to discuss spiritual parenting between fathers and their children. Joel Fitzpatrick has served as an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America with a focus on youth and family. He received his MDiv from Westminster Seminary California. Joel lives in Southern California with his wife of nineteen years and their two children. He is a sinner, a preacher, the author of Between us Guys, the coauthor of Mom, Dad . . . What's Sex?, and contributed chapters to The Sinner and Saints Devotional: 60 days in the Psalms. Joel explains the balance between laughter and enjoyment and setting boundaries for our children so they can grow up in a Christ centered environment that isn't dependent on what others think. Our listeners can learn more about Joel on his website at https://www.joelfitzpatrick.co/ Quotes: "On of the most important things I have said to my son is 'Even in the face of your failure, I am proud to be your dad. I love you no matter how well or poorly you do.'" "When you show your love to your children as Christ loves us, it gives your kids a stable foundation to stand on in all things." "Being humble in front of your kids is vital. Be quick to forgiveness when your kids mess up. Shaming and disciplining your kids is almost paradoxical to them because they see you sinning while disciplining them for their sins."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Meteorologist Ashley Gann to discuss work life balance. She explains that it's easy to categorize ourselves based on one area of our lives and define ourselves only by that task or talent. She stresses that we can always find balance in our lives if we live it with intentionality. Ashley Gann is the Chief Meteorologist at CBS 42 in Birmingham, AL and is a believer, wife, and mother of 3. Our listeners can learn more about Ashley on her Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, all of which are under the name @gannweather. Quotes: "Living with intentionality is not only vital for your life, but your kids lives as well. They see you living with intentionality and the success that can bring. It has a lasting, positive impact on their lives." "My mantra for life has become I like to gain people's trust on the sunny days so I can have their trust during the stormy ones."

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic relationship with others? As Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Whether a family member, spouse, coworker, or friend, toxic people frequently seek to frustrate our empathy in Christ Jesus. While you're seeking God's kingdom first, it seems like they're seeking to distract your focus and delay your work. Instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to the only worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. It's only when we learn to say no to bad patterns that we can say yes to the good work God has planned for us. On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas shares biblical examples of how Christ dealt with toxic people in his new book When to Walk Away, Finding Freedom From Toxic People. Here are just a few topics Thomas shares with Tray and Melody:

• How to learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people
• How to find refuge in God when you feel under attack
• How we can discern when to walk away from a toxic situation
• How we can keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships

We encourage our listeners to learn more about Gary Thomas at his website http://www.garythomas.com/ and can pre-order his new book now on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/When-Walk-Away-Finding-Freedom-ebook/dp/B07PR87KLL. Quotes: "Jesus warns his followers away from spending too much time on a toxic person. He says 'don't throw your pearls to pigs or what is holy to dogs' and He isn't being disrespectful there, but He is recognizing we must know when to walk away." "We can't let others steal our joy or our mission. It's time to strengthen our defense, learn to set healthy boundaries, and focus on our God-given purpose." "Just like if you were to remove my spine from my body, even if I had 205 bones left, taking the fall out of scripture puts evil in a position to corrupt good, God-centered people and relationships."