On this episode, we’re talking about a voice that can feel louder than all the others...the inner critic.
You know what I mean — that harsh, accusing, critical, unforgiving voice that lives in the back of your mind, repeating:
“You’ll never be enough.”“Why did you do that?”“See, you messed up again.”
That voice is sneaky. It sounds like truth, but it’s actually shame, and if you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably started to believe that voice was you.

This episode is about that split-second moment — when you feel the surge of anger, the flood of tears, the urge to run, or the impulse to shut down. That moment when you’re about to explode… or disappear.
We’re going to learn how to pause in that moment — to hold the tension — so you can respond in truth instead of react in fear.
Pausing is hard, but it is holy work. It is a sacred practice that changes relationships, changes families, and changes your legacy.

We either believe every feeling we have is truth, or we shame ourselves for even having feelings in the first place.
Feelings aren’t facts, they're messengers. They are real, but they aren’t always right.
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Everyone of us has gone through this...those moments where you’re going about your day, you’re fine — and then you're not; something happens: a comment, a look, a memory, a tone of voice. Your chest gets tight. Your mind is racing. You shut down or you explode, and you don’t even really know why.
That, my friend, is what we call being triggered. A trigger is not weakness. A trigger is not proof you’re failing. A trigger is an alarm system.
Y’all, triggers are not the problem. They’re the invitation.

Healing Out Loud is the last Friday of every month, where I answer questions submitted by y'all.
On this episode, I answer two questions:
1) I feel like I’ve lost myself after years of putting everyone else first. Where do I even begin to heal when I don’t recognize who I am anymore?2) My spouse and I are barely speaking. I don’t know how to fix what’s been broken for so long. Is it too late to restore our marriage?

We’re starting a brand new series called “Emotionally Whole: Learning to Feel Without Falling Apart.”
Some of us learned how to numb before we ever learned how to feel. We learned to shut down, to shut people out, to keep everything under control because we didn’t trust what would happen if we let our emotions lead, but this series...This series is about learning a better way, a whole way, a healing way.
You don’t have to be ruled by your emotions. You don’t have to shut them down, either. There’s another way—and it’s called being emotionally whole.

The pain you’ve endured, the healing you’ve walked through, the breakthroughs you’ve experienced...they were never just about you.
You are redeemed for a reason. Your story isn’t something to hide, it’s something to hold up as a light.
You’ve walked through brokenness.You’ve faced the wounds.You’ve chosen healing.You’ve been rebuilt.You’ve been restored.You are whole.
Now, you’re ready to live redeemed for a purpose.
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After brokenness, after healing, after rebuilding—comes wholeness, but what does it actually look like to live unbroken, to not just heal from your past, but to stop living like you’re still wounded?
Wholeness is not perfection. Wholeness means you are:
Fully presentFully awareFully surrenderedFully at peace with your past, present, and future
You were never meant to live broken forever.Healing brought you out, but wholeness moves you forward.
Healing is a process. Wholeness is a lifestyle.

There is something we all long for, but often fear: restoration. More specifically—how do you begin to trust again and love again, when the very things that broke you were tied to relationships?
Pain makes us self-protective, and while that may serve us temporarily, long-term it becomes a prison. If you don’t confront the residue of your brokenness, you’ll sabotage your restoration.

When the pain fades, when the pieces begin to come together — What remains? What emerges?
We often think healing means returning to who we were before the pain, but the truth is, that version of you can’t carry the weight of your calling. God isn’t restoring you to the past — He’s rebuilding you for the future. Letting go of who you used to be is sacred work.
You are not your trauma.You are not your survival mechanisms.You are not your shame.You are becoming!