UnFollow: Question Everything with Mel Gray

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THE WORK
Follow The Energy

“I can feel you before I can hear you.”
—Unknown
“Your energy introduces you before you even speak.”
—Unknown

• One thing I plan to do this year to increase my physical
energy is:
• I’ve noticed lately I have negative energy, and one way
I can get back on the beam is:
• Your Mason jar is full to the brim with water. How do
you plan to spend it today?
• What are some ways you can get off the beam as you
transition from activity to activity?
• How do you want your energy to be when you show
up today?
• How do you plan to get that energy and keep it?
• What are some solutions to get you back on the beam?

• Think about a friendship that is causing you some
friction - ask yourself how do you feel before, after and
during being around them?
• Are those feelings and emotions ones you desire in a
friendship?
• What emotions and feelings do you desire in a
friendship?
• Do you have a Sunshine Lollipop friendship?
• If you answered no, what would a Sunshine Lollipop
friendship feel like, look like?
• What ways can you protect your energy when you are
around people with conflicting energies?
• What relative or relationship drains your energy and
why?
• How can you protect your energy in that relationship?
• Write all the ways being sensitive to other people’s
energies can help you win at your ONE.Life:

Get your copy of Mel's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Mel explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

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THE WORK
Follow Work-Life Alignment

• The best day of my life is:
• I know this is the best day of my life because:
• The core values I plan to review in my life are:
• The evidence I found of these values in my life are:
• One thing I know could get me off the beam and burn
  me out is:
• When I show up at work, I want to show up like:
• When I show up at home, I want to show up like:
• I am bringing my energy for these people right now:
• I define alignment as:
• For me alignment looks like:
• For me alignment feels like:
• One change I plan to make after reading this chapter
  is:

Get your copy of Mel's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Mel explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Mel on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Mel Gray."

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THE WORK
Follow Family

“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.”
—Michael J. Fox

o What are your family’s values?
Be sure to place them somewhere in the home
everyone can see.
o Set a date for you and your partner to go over the
division of labor in your home. Be sure to set a few
hours, and let it be flexible at first.
o Set a weekly family meeting time and day - Sunday
6pm is good for us. Discuss the upcoming week
together. Ask what everyone has going on and who
needs extra help this week.
o Set a time weekly with your partner to discuss the
week. We like walk and talks, where we discuss how
we can help each other, our current workload, and any
travel.
o Divide chores up between kids that are age-
appropriate. You would be so surprised if you Google
age-appropriate chores. Our kids are so much more
capable than we allow them to be.

Our kids set a timer for thirty minutes and like to tackle their chores
together. If this doesn’t work, assign them
individually.

o We will discuss with kids on (date and time)

Remember: slow and steady wins the race. Changes take
time. Implement one at a time until you feel confident to move
on to the next one.

Get your copy of Mel's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Mel explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Mel on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Mel Gray."

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THE WORK
Follow Start Before You Are Ready

• The three thought errors I keep having right now are:
• Three thought resets to those thoughts are:
• I define perfectionism as:
• I see my perfectionism is holding me back in these 3
  areas:
• I can see I am procrastinating in these 3 areas:
• One area I plan to focus on for the next year is:
• The one thing I plan to Start Before I am Ready is:
• The first step I will take to start that one thing is:
• I will begin the one thing ___________________date, time
• List three times you have done something someone
  suggested without questioning it.
• What will you do next time and why?
• Next time someone metaphorically tells you to go
  home, what will you do?

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Mel Gray."

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THE WORK
Follow Winning or Learning

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”
—Henry Ford

• Think of a time you felt like you failed:

         How could you thought reset that so-called failure into
         a win?

• How do you define winning?
• How do you define learning?
• My messy middle is:
  Describe the things you will learn from your messy
  middle:
• My favorite way I want my messy middle to conclude
  is:
• At the conclusion of my messy middle, I want to feel:
• I plan to show up for my messy middle like:
• What would my life coach tell me today about my
  messy middle?
• My “To Be Continued” is:
• If I did know how my “To Be Continued” would end, it
  would be:

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."

Send us Fan Mail

Join the WhatsApp group here: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GHQ8LajRllK3Aj8PkVC3m0

Join the Zoom here: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87930066143

THE WORK
Follow Boundary Blessings

“Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is no.”
—Melody Beattie

• Check your texts, what patterns do you see?
• How could you honor your boundaries in responding
  to requests for your time?
• List 3 responses or ways you will share your
  boundaries:
• List 5 bylaws for your life, based on your values:
• Write down a response that you fear hearing when
  you share your boundary.
• Create a script for how you plan to respond when you
  feel your boundaries are being disrespected.
• What conversation am I avoiding that will result in a
  boundary blowup, if not handled soon?
• Who could I role-play this through with, before I have
  the conversation?
• If I were writing a script about this, what would I say?
• What’s one step I could take today to move toward
  sharing my boundaries?
• List 3 things that would stop you from sharing your
  boundary.
• List one boundary sharing that would change your
  entire life.
• List the boundary blessings that could come with this.
• Set a date and time to share a boundary.

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."

Send us Fan Mail

Join the WhatsApp group here: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GHQ8LajRllK3Aj8PkVC3m0

Join the Zoom here: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87930066143

THE WORK
Follow Your Inner Knowing

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out
your own inner voice.”
—Steve Jobs

What quiet nudge inside you needs to be a ROAR?

• What could you do to make your eight-year-old and eighty-year-old self proud?
• What areas of your life do you need to tell your eight-
  year-old inner child to sit down and that you’ve got
  this?
• The Power of the Post-it: What goals can you write like
  they’re already done and put on a Post-it to keep in
  plain sight? What do they say?
• What do you need to UnFollow in spite of people, not
  to spite people?
• Whose disapproval scares you the most?
• What does your favorite version of you say to your
  parents?
• What does your favorite version of your life sound
  like?
• Write your intentions around this work.
  Example: Intention—I am willing to sit in the
  uncomfortable process to UnFollow in order to get
  comfortable with my inner knowing.

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."

Send us Fan Mail

THE WORK
Follow the Path to an EMPOWERED.Life

UnFollow the path to Martyrdom Mountain and head back
down to an island I like to call an EMPOWERED.Life.

• A Mum And... means: who are you when you are not
  being a Mum. Who are you?
• What decision have you made, knowing accolades
  will come from others?
• How do you define success?
• On a scale of 1-10 how happy are you?
• What is one thing you could do that would grade you
  higher on the happy scale?
• List all the challenging things that have happened to
  you in your ONE.Life and how they are keeping you
  on up on Martyrdom Mountain.
• Pick one thing that you will work on this year to help
  you walk back down the mountain to an
  EMPOWERED.Life.
• List questions that get you excited about your life.

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."

Send us Fan Mail

THE WORK
Follow Break Generational Trauma, One Trauma at a Time

“Healing is a daily event. You can’t ‘go somewhere’ to be
healed: you must go inward to be healed. This means a daily
commitment to doing the work.”
—Dr. Nicole LePera, The Holistic Psychologist

Our purpose is not to create a perfect life for our kids or our
people. It is to show our humanness and to raise our kids to
know they are deeply loved by their deeply imperfect parents.
And to show our people we are flawed humans who are doing
the best with what we know, right now.

Our work is to become aware of our traumas and triggers
and the impacts they can have, if unchecked, and then to
decide which ones have the biggest impact on our people.

Have you ever met an adult with no issues? No parent
issues or people-pleasing, boundary issues or control issues?
Me, neither... Not sure I want to or need to, either.

What if, each year, we focused on different parts of
ourselves instead of tackling all our trauma and hoping we can
be perfect for those close to us?

It can be so overwhelming, when you begin work in your
life with a coach, mentor, therapist, guide, or pastor. Instead,
pick one thing, and focus on that! Shift that! Grow in that area!

• This year, my big focus will be:
• While I am doing this for me, I know
  ____________________________ will also be hugely impacted.
• The reason I choose this for my yearly goal is:
• When I feel like I am not making real progress, I will
  pay attention to mini-magical moments by:
• Actions I will take include:
• My triggers around this trauma are:
• I want to show up for my people in the following way:
  By showing my people my human, imperfect side, I
  am giving them a gift of:
  
  Focusing on one per year will shift the all-or-nothing
  thinking. It will calm the inner rebel and also
  UnFollow that “in order to be great humans, we must
  be healed” false narrative.
  
  

More of us talking about what we are healing, and why, is
how we collectively change and encourage others. Through
bravery and belief, not shame and perfectionism.

It is only by living we truly heal!

So, let’s live, lassies and lads, and show our imperfect
selves as we do it.

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."

Send us Fan Mail

THE WORK
Follow Learning to Love our Bodies

“Your body hears everything your mind says.”
—Naomi Judd

What if we stopped allowing our brains to bully our bodies? “I
love my body” doesn’t mean I have to like everything about it.
But it does mean I stop my brain from bullying her.

Enter this work thinking of your future self, your favorite
version of yourself, the one who doesn’t bully her body every
day. The one who speaks kindly to her body and doesn’t judge
her or others. When you get excited about that version, only
then begin asking all the questions.

Questioning everything with excitement is a method for
living. It’s where we choose to not only heal, but live. It’s
where we decide to not only think but do!
Your body loves you. She has proven this time and time
again. Now, show her some love by healing some open wounds
you still have.

This work helps you to UnFollow society defining what our
body should look like and making the decision you will define
it! Year after year, we criticize our bodies, and it hasn’t
changed anything; so, it’s time to change the status quo and,
instead, do the work and Follow learning to love our bodies.

This is your reminder that you do not need to love every
part of your body in order to be kind to it. What if you begin
this work by treating your body the way you hope your
daughter treats hers, the way you pray your son treats his?
Sometimes, the thought of loving our bodies is too far-fetched;
but imagining it’s your daughter’s, your mother’s, your best
friend’s, that changes your mindset and leads you on the path
of healing.

• List all the things your body has done for you. Don’t
  stop until you get to at least twenty.
• Write a letter to your body, apologizing for the way
  you have bullied it, including the things you have made
  her miss out on. Then, burn it!
• UnFollowing all the abuse you did to her requires you
  to replace it with a new following. Write a letter on
  how you plan to treat her, going forward. How you
  plan to learn to love her. Write it from a place of joy
  and excitement and possibility. No shame can live in
  this letter! Laminate it! Put it on your mirror. Have it
  in plain sight, read it every day, until your mind no
  longer bullies your body.
• Write on a Post-it: “I love my body and everything she
  has done for me.” Place it somewhere you see it daily.

Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: [email protected]

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

Follow Melissa on IG @coachmummabear_

Remember to leave an honest review and subscribe to "UnFollow: Question Everything with Melissa Wiggins."