Unforgetting

I think that being in relationship is one of the most amazing things about being a human... And it’s also one of the hardest.

This week, I’m talking with Nicole Walker about:

1. What makes a healthy relationship.
2. Why zero conflict is not the goal we should be striving for.
3. Why some people want to talk it out immediately and others want to run at the first hint of an argument.
4. How to work through conflict in a way that works for everyone involved.
5. How to support yourself during an argument with your partner.
6. And lots of tips to better navigate conflict and arguments in your relationship.

About Nicole:
Nicole Walker is a licensed counselor and relationship coach. After years of unsuccessfully navigating the dating landscape herself and knowing first hand how hard it can be to form healthy relationships she went on to found Renovate Your Relationships. Her company offers courses and coaching and has become the trusted guide for modern adults who want to find and keep the love they deserve without the shame, stigma, or confusion. In her spare time you can find her baking, bingeing Bravo, and spending time with her husband and two pups in Upstate NY.
IG: @renoyourrelationships
Website: renovateyourrelationships.com
Course: Renovate Your Foundations
Free Attachment Styles Workbook

Mentioned in this episode:
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum 

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We see their content all the time, but have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an influencer?
 
 Well today we’re gonna find out because I am talking to Cameron Phillips, about:

1. His days in the world of content creation.
2. What it really means to be a content creator or an influencer.
3. What’s involved in social media being your full-time job.
4. The mental health implications of having your life visible online.
5. The highs and lows of being a full-time content creator.
6. How all of us can better interact with social media
7. What to do when we feel in the grips of the comparison trap.
8. How to be more grounded when we interact and post on social media.

About Cameron:
Cameron Phillips is a former full time social media content creator in the travel and lifestyle space. He’s worked with global brands, small startups, and destination management companies all over the world, producing content for campaigns that have garnered over 5 million video views. Cameron has pivoted to a successful career as a real estate agent in Vancouver, Canada, but has recently decided to step back into the content sphere - only this time he's doing it differently, and today he'll tell us why. 

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If you grew up going to church, then you were likely conditioned by purity culture. And purity culture’s pressure to deny and villainize really normal sexual development and curiosity has lasting negative consequences.

This week, I’m talking with Hannah Brents about:

1. How purity culture impacts the people within it, even if they aren’t in a religious community.
2. What happens to our relationships with ourselves and with others when we experience trauma from purity culture.
3. Really normal things that come up when you start healing these patterns.
4. First steps that you can try on your own to start deconstructing purity culture without getting completely overwhelmed.
5. Things to keep in mind if you’re in relationship with someone who has experienced trauma from purity culture.

About Hannah:

Hannah Brents is a therapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. She has a background in religious studies, yoga, and meditation. She creates multiple ways to support people through religious trauma, including most recently an online course on Making Peace With Your Religious Past.
IG: @theologytherapist
YouTube: @theologytherapist
Other links: Newsletter

Mentioned in this episode:
Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski

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How do you know if you’re a good listener? Listening isn’t necessarily a skill that we automatically get better at as we get older. 

This week, I’m talking with my guest Orly Israel about:

1. What makes a good listener.
2. What a Listening Table is and the unique way that Orly tackled his goal of becoming a better listener.
3. Why a lot of us don’t share more with the people in our lives.
4. How different conversation styles might be making your relationships a lot harder.
5. How to have more fulfilling conversations with your friends. 
6. Practical tips for being a better listener.

About Orly:
Orly Israel is a self-described listener in training. He's always been passionate about communication skills and he started his listening table as a way to learn to listen and he’s at this point, he’s hosted over 100 of them. Now Orly teaches listening to anyone who will listen to him.
IG: @orlyslisteningtable
Website: thelisteningtable.com

Mentioned in this episode:

• Warmlines: Peer-run listening line
• Crisis Hotlines

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Whether you’re someone who loves taking quizzes to find out which 90s song you are, or you’re completely skeptical of anything that tries to put a label on you…this episode is going to be really, really helpful. 

Our personality is a mix of our conditioning and our nature. And today, we’re talking about the nature side.

This week, I’m talking with Carly Toomey about:

1. What Personality Type is.
2. The four sets of preferences we each have and what they mean about us.
3. How we can use type to better understand ourselves and the people in our lives.
4. Reasons why you might be feeling more drained by your life than you’re supposed to.
5. Tips for enjoying your life and relationships more based on your type.
6. An exciting way to learn what your personality type is.

About Carly:

Carly Toomey (ESTJ) is a co-founder of TypeCoach. Since 2005, she has consulted with more than 20 Fortune 500 companies, and trained thousands of leaders, future leaders, sales professionals, and executives all over the world. She has also certified dozens of internal and external corporate trainers.
Website: www.typecoach.com
*Special gift for Unforgetting listeners*

Mentioned in this episode:
Video: Introverts in the Wild - Holderness Family
Video: It's Not About the Nail
Book: Just Your Type by Barbara Barron & Paul Tieger

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Even if you did receive sex ed in middle school, that education probably did not include information on how to actually relate to your sexuality in a healthy way. 

This week, I’m talking with Patricia Rich about:

1. What Self-Led sexuality is and why it’s important.
2. Why authentically expressing ourselves sexually is often really difficult.
3. Internal consent and the importance of checking in with ourselves before connecting sexually with another person.
4. The relationship between shame and sexuality.
5. How to talk to your partner about your sex life.
6. Tips for figuring out what you want— and don’t want— during sex. 

About Patricia:
Patricia Rich, LCSW, CST-S (she/her) is a Certified IFS Therapist and Approved Consultant and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor. She fell in love with IFS in 2011, has completed Level 3, and has served as a Program Assistant. She has developed a unique integrative model for helping people to feel more ease, joy and confidence in the realm of sexuality and has originated IFS-informed concepts such as Internal Consent and The Six S’s of Sexual Self-Energy.
IG: @patriciarichconsulting
Website: patriciarich.com

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If you’ve ever spent a weekend feeling completely burnt out while simultaneously crushed by the guilt and shame of not being productive…welcome to the wonderful world of capitalism.

When this happens, we often end turning to wellness spaces to help us feel better, but are we really escaping the effects of capitalism through the wellness industry…or are they just two sides of the same coin? 

This week, I’m talking with Rachael Kay Albers about:

1. What capitalism is and how it all started.
2. How the wellness industry and capitalism are tied together like BFFs.
3. Things you really need to keep in mind when purchasing wellness services, courses, coaching, and products.
4. The evolution of influencer culture and building a personal brand.
5. Internalized capitalism and how building a better world starts as an inside job.
6. How to deconstruct capitalism without burning out or having a panic attack.

About Rachael:
Rachael Kay Albers is a brand strategist, marketing muckraker, and business comedian. When not running RKA INK, a creative studio for businesses who burn the rulebook, Rachael writes (and rants) about the intersections of branding, pop culture, tech, & identity.

IG: @rachael.kay.albers
TikTok: @rachaelkayalbers
YouTube: @rachael.kay.albers
Website:
https://rachaelkayalbers.com/
http://rkaink.com/

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How comfortable are you with being really bad at something?

Whether it's going to a new gym or an art class or at work, what happens inside of you when everyone else is way better at it than you are?

This week, we chat about:

1. Why being bad at things is really good for you
2. Why being a beginner is extremely triggering for a lot of us.
3. How American culture conditions us into thinking we have to be great at things.
4. My own experience being bad at things and how it made my life a lot more fun.
5. Tips on how to get out of that pattern and let yourself have more fun trying new things.

Want to support the show? Here are 3 ways you can support our Unforgetting community:

1. Write a review on whatever podcast platform you love most.
2. Subscribe to the show
3. Follow us on Instagram @unforgettingpodcast
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We’re talking about one of my favorite, favorite things: Internal Family Systems, or IFS. And even if you think you don’t know what that is, you probably do and just didn’t know that’s what it’s called. If you’ve ever heard of your inner child, that’s IFS. 

Our personality isn’t one fixed thing. It’s complicated and nuanced and sometimes even contradicts itself. 

This week, I’m talking with Alice Mills Mai about:

1. What Internal Family Systems is.
2. What the different parts of us are, and how they function.
3. How understanding these parts can help us heal traumatic experiences.
4. What happens within us when we feel triggered or vulnerable.
5. Why sometimes we sabotage the things we really want.
6. How to use parts work to better communicate during conflict.

About Alice:
Alice Mills Mai is a licensed mental health counselor and a social entrepreneur. She is the founder and CEO of Centering Wholeness Counseling and Embracing Wholeness Community Care. Before founding these two organizations, she worked at community-based organizations and a correctional facility, leading a team of psychotherapists providing services to LGBTQAI+ and IPV/DV survivors. She is committed to making mental health knowledge accessible to African immigrant populations. In psychotherapy, Alice works with children of immigrants around childhood trauma using IFS and EMDR. Additionally, Alice works with individuals, companies, communities, churches, the media, and colleges to spread mental health awareness. Alice is currently working on her dissertation to complete a Ph.D. in Counselor Education and Supervision.

IG: @alicemillsmai
Website: www.centeringwholeness.com
www.alicemillsmai.com

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Rituals have been passed down for generations…but what if we don’t know the cultural practices of our own ancestry? Too often, people who want to feel connected to wisdom of the past end up reaching out and grabbing onto the nearest ritual from a culture that doesn’t even belong to them.

This week, I’m talking with my guest Freia Serafina about:

1. What rituals and cultural practices are.
2. Why humans love ritual so much.
3. What happens to us when we aren’t connected to our ancestral roots.
4. How to reconnect to the wisdom of your own lineage, even if you don’t know what that is yet.
5. What cultural appropriation is, why it matters, and how to show respectful appreciation for other cultures instead of showing up in spaces where you don’t belong.

About Freia:
Freia Serafina is a Women’s Spirituality PhD student focused on decolonizing religion and spirituality. She is a film & theatre professor and the host of the Body Positive Goddess podcast. She also runs a virtual women’s spirituality institute.
IG: @freia_serafina
Website: www.seventhdaughter.org
Podcast: Body Positive Goddess 

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