Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky and Diana explore the concept of surrender.

• Surrender is a loaded word for many and can be misconstrued as giving up.
• Surrender allows you to release your grip on a particular situation.
• Surrendering to a plan gives you the space to find out if it works.
• Surrendering to a plan is an effective way to stomp down resistance to change.
• Surrendering to the boundaries of a situation creates focus so you can follow the course.
• Measuring progress and seeing results makes it easier to surrender.
• We can forget that we have surrendered before and succeeded.
• We tend to spend more energy fighting a situation that would have worked better if we surrendered.
• We can fall into a Lack mentality when we resist giving in.
• Surrendering in one area gives you space to focus on other things.

Becky and Diana delve into the concept of control and why we try so hard to stay in control.

• It's all about trust. Trusting others, yes, but mostly it's about trusting ourselves.
• There is a false sense of safety and security when we think we're in control.
• People want certainty.
• Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
• No matter how hard you try you can't change other people.
• Control actually limits your possibilities.
• When you exert control over others, you don't give them a chance to express who they are and learn from the mistakes they might make.
• If there is a controlling person in your life, remember it is their problem. You are only responsible for your responses.
• Always needing to be in control can be very lonely.
• Positive reinforcement can help combat controlling people because it gives them the validation they need.

Becky and Diana discuss living "As if."

• Live your life as if you are already living the life you want.
• Mentors are helpful as role models while you are moving towards your goals and dreams.
• What baby steps can you take right now to get the life you want?
• There is very little preventing you from learning new skills and gaining new knowledge.
• The "As If" process allows you to try on the life you want and see if it's a fit.
• When acquiring knowledge use the platform and medium that work for you.
• Opportunities appear when you begin living "As If."
• Find mentors who are only a few steps ahead of you.
• Act "as if" you have already succeeded.
• Living "As If" is an active choice.

Becky and Diana explore the concept of pronoia, the belief the Universe is working for you.

• Why is it easy to believe that things are working against us rather than for us?
• Most people are more comfortable attributing the negative things "out there" to someone or something else instead of their own.
• Taking ownership can be equally hard when things are going well.
• Start looking for the good and you will find and receive more good.
• When you say there is enough you give the Universe the opportunity to show you it's true.
• Gratitude works hand in hand with pronoia.
• You need to train your brain to accept that good things are meant for you.
• You actually get smaller and heavier when you feel negative. You get lighter and taller when you feel positive.
• Belief in plenty creates a bridge to opportunity.
• When you look carefully, you will see the Universe wants you to be the best you, you can be.

Becky and Diana discuss the value of asking for help and giving help.

• When you take on a role sometimes it's hard to let it go even when you don't like it. It can be the same way with asking for help.
• Micro managing happens when someone needs to take on all the roles in a project.
• It's hard to share and ask for help when you don't have a model.
• Helping and sharing tasks is a core attribute of animals, including people. It's a key to survival.
• People may want to help but don't know how.
• Figure out a way to let them help.
• Feeling safe in a relationship is a key to asking for help.
• Asking for help shows respect for the person you are asking.
• Asking someone for help gives them the opportunity to meaningfully engage with you.
• When you need help, it's not always easy to see the bridge that can connect you with the help.
• It's great if you can identify what you want before you ask for help.

Becky and Diana examine the effects of burnout and share strategies to deal with it.

• Once you are burned out you have to take a break and assess where you are or you will continue to flounder.
• Do you have to do it all? Do you have to do it all the way you are doing it?
• Leading your life based on Essentialism helps you define what is most important and allows you to prioritize opportunities.
• You can burnout without boundaries and you can burnout with boundaries that are too rigid.
• Flexibility that respects the flow of life is key to avoiding burnout.
• Know the pace of your own life and live from there.
• Be careful what you take on and ask, "Is it necessary?"
• Are other people's expectations contributing to your burnout?
• Surround yourself with friends who support where you are now.
• Teamwork, sharing the load, drastically diminishes burnout.

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the pitfalls and positives of commitments.

• You can't make progress without commitment.
• Commitment creates parameters that can increase productivity
• FOMO (fear of missing out) is an epidemic in this country and it's creating commitment phobia.
• Committing to too many things makes it impossible to be committed to anything.
• Over scheduling teaches children they are worthless unless they are always busy.
• The things kids want to commit to don't have to be the same things as their parents. This is how they explore.
• Set a timeframe to stick to your commitments. If you're in an experience that isn't working out for you, make sure you've spent enough time doing it to give it a chance.
• Interest vs Commitment: Interest is thought. Commitment is action.
• Your integrity is built on how you handle your commitments.
• When you let commitments slide, your integrity is tarnished and so is your self-esteem.

Becky and Diana talk about strategies to implement goals any time of year.

• There is no "right time" to set your goals.
• Setting goals too soon in the New Year can be counterproductive because they end up being a reaction to the previous year.
• Goals should create action.
• Myth: Goals are set in stone.
• Check in with your goals on a regular basis to see if they are still relevant.
• The most important part of goal setting is identifiying the motivation behind them.
• Use the tools and systems that fit you and that you will use.
• Breaking your year up into laser focused chunks increases productivity.
• Dividing big goals into smaller ones makes them less intimidating to complete.
• Goals can be fluid to accommodate your life.

Becky and Diana remind us that no matter what we are going through it's not forever.

• In the midst of a tough situation we tend to forget it will end.
• Action is required to both maintain the things we want in our life and to move through the things we don't.
• People don't stay in situations unless they are getting something out of it.
• Being grateful helps you shift from a negative attitude to a positive one.
• Just do! Make the best of what you have.
• The bottom line is to understand that you have the biggest impact on your own life.
• Believing things can change is a practice that shortens the duration of negative events.
• What you take in from the world influences what you put out to the world, and you get to choose both!
• "Whether you think you can or can't you are probably right." Henry Ford (also Buddhists)

Becky and Diana give strategies to adapt to a new normal in the face of change.

• The uncomfortable feeling associated with change often makes it seem bad.
• Shifting your perspective to accept change makes it easier.
• Change can either be by choice or thrust upon you.
• Resistance creates a smaller, tighter, less flexible existence.
• There are two sides to "What if?"
  • What if it goes wrong? - and - What if it goes right?
• When we choose the easy way, we can find ourselves surrendering our power to someone else.
• Change and growth don't happen when you're comfortable.
• Having to delay gratification because you want to know how it's going to turn out makes change frustrating.
• Our New Normal develops at the speed of our acceptance of the change.