Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky and Diana explore the effects of carrying around extra luggage in our lives.

• When you travel light you have room to acquire new experiences and things.
• Luggage comes in many forms: physical, emotional, mental, and relational.
• Tolerating things and situation takes up time and energy and slow you down.
• Often we don't take care of things until they are extremely painful or problematic.
• Urgency can be an artificial construct.
• Get rid of your excess baggage by setting boundaries, delegating, or simply purging.
• Letting go of things (and people) creates space and makes you feel lighter.
• Expectations can set you up to carry extra baggage.
• If you can't get rid of your baggage by yourself ask for help.
• Don't let the weight of your baggage hold you back. Let it go.

Becky and Diana review strategies that come up over and over in their podcast episodes.

Personality:

• You need to know who you are to know what you want.
• Success begins within.
• If you don’t know what drives you, anything can.
• The more you know about yourself the easier it is to say, “No.”

Community:

• Work buddies and life buddies are those people who really get you and support you as you navigate the world.
• Choose your circle of friends wisely. They can either raise you up or drag you down.

Breaking the Cycle:

• Grounding (when you’re anxious) - name things, touch your fingers together, name numbers out of order, and gratitude all bring you back to the present moment.
• Pause - A focused breath can give you the space to act instead of react.
• Perspective - Shift your point of view physically, intellectually, or collaboratively.

Becky and Diana discuss the challenge of living a life of moderation. 

• Living in moderation is really managing the highs and lows.
• The enemy of moderation is panic.
• When in an extreme state, remember you are not the only one who’s had really high highs and low lows.
• You know what’s best for you. Listen to yourself first.
• You can’t find the middle without experiencing the extremes.
• Your middle can grow as your life grows.
• Just because it exists doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
• Denial and deprivation make you leap over moderation and head straight to excess.
• We put the moral value on things; things don’t have intrinsic value.
• A successful life is about being comfortable and happy wherever you are.

Becky and Diana discuss the value of be able to see things from someone else’s perspective. 

• Being able to see things from someone else’s point of view is a great asset for work, life, and relationships.
• Conversation breaks down when you can’t or won’t see things from the other person’s perspective.
• If neither party can see things from the other’s point of view you have a stand-off and nothing gets done.
• Asking questions helps you gain insight from another’s perspective.
• When you assume intent, you’re making a guess that could actually be fiction.
• Self-assess your conversation to ensure what you are saying is being received in the way you want.
• You miss so much by closing yourself off to others’ viewpoints.
• There are people who don’t want to take your scenic route.
• Walking in other people’s shoes, to see what and how they see, can be uncomfortable.
• Respect is created when you acknowledge someone else’s perspective, even if you don’t agree with it.

Becky and Diana explore the frustrating sensation of anxiety and share strategies on how to cope with it when it strikes. They also discuss the difference between normal anxiety and anxiety disorders. 

• Decide if your anxiety is being caused by a real situation or a perceived expectation.
• Uncertainty is one of the biggest factors causing anxiety.
• To lower your anxiety level, assess what is most important and drop the rest.
• Anxiety is one of the most contagious negative emotions.
• The desire to be in control is another factor that contributes to anxiety.
• The Cycle of Anxiety:
  • Calm > Anxiety Activator > Perceived Danger > Brain Signals Fight or Flight > Body Prepares > Perceived Danger. This cycle continues until it is interrupted.
• Strategies for battling anxiety include: reworking anxiety provoking thoughts and writing them down, calming self-talk, and grounding.
• Grounding is a strategy where you re-direct your 5 senses to break the anxiety cycle.
  • Look around you and
    • Describe 5 things you can see right now.
    • Describe 4 things you can touch right now.
    • Describe 3 things you can hear, or describe your favorite 3 sounds.
    • Describe 2 things you can smell right now or that you like to smell.
    • Describe 1 thing you can taste right now or that you like to taste.
  • We assign importance to things and then react to that importance. The things are not important on their own.
  • Anxiety Disorders differ from typical anxiety because they create a constant anxiety loop and need interventions to stop them.
  • Occasional anxiety is usually situational, and strategies can be taught to cope with the anxiety when it arises.
  • The actions you take to deal with your anxiety depend on your personality.

Becky and Diana examine how living in gratitude can impact your life. 

• A simple “Thank You” is one of the first ways we are taught to express gratitude.
• Gratitude is a mindset.
• To live in gratitude, you have to practice gratitude.
• Gratitude shifts your thoughts from focusing on the negatives in a situation to finding the positive.
• Living in gratitude is an intentional act.
• Gratitude can be the catalyst that moves you forward.
• The least selfish thing you can do is be grateful.
• Before you go to bed, during meditation, or while taking a walk list the things you are grateful for.
• Once you have developed a gratitude practice, you will find it harder to stay in frustrating and upsetting situations.
• Every second you spend being grateful gets you closer to being more grateful.

Becky and Diana provide strategies for creating a happier holiday experience.

• Our own expectations can create one of the biggest challenges of the holidays.
• Expect and accept that things change when reconnecting.
• Respect the differences of the people you will be surrounded by.
• Remember to respect yourself and your needs, too.
• Pre-planned responses and actions are great strategies for preparing for an event – whether at a relative’s house or at a party.
• Pre-plan for less social times too. If you find yourself alone during the holidays, volunteer or create your own traditions.
• Beware of over committing and over doing.
• Have an exit strategy for each event you attend.
• During each event you attend take an internal energy check to help decide what you need to do next.
• Embrace some solitude.

 Becky and Diana explain how to figure out that you are enough.

• Enough is the sweet spot that lies between the “More” mentality and the “Lack” mentality. These mentalities are about scarcity.
• The “More” mentality is based on the need to have more and do more in order to be more.
• The “Lack” mentality is based on the belief that there will never be enough.
• Choosing to see you have enough in any given moment is very powerful.
• When we dwell on the negative, we miss the positive.
• Striving for perfection is a sign of the “More” mentality.
• In the moment of recognizing that there is enough, you realize you don’t have to have all of the answers and you get ok with that.
• Being in the place of Enough is a practice, and it gets easier over time.
• Take the time to look at what went right so you can duplicate it.

Becky and Diana discuss how to take criticism in a way that helps you grow.

• Criticism is often seen as a loaded word. It’s frequently associated with fault.
• Self-criticism is based on stories we tell ourselves, whether they are true or not.
• When you are Uniquely Brilliant you are a target for criticism because you stand out.
• You get to decide if there is something you can build on from someone’s criticism of you.
• It doesn’t matter how the criticism is delivered, what matters is how you choose to receive it.
• Take the emotion out of the criticism to find its validity.
• Giving positive feedback is a learned skill.
• When you say something in a way that makes people feel validated and heard, they can learn from what you tell them.
• How would your role model respond to criticism?
• When all else fails, smile until you are ready to respond.

Becky and Diana encourage you to treat the opportunities in your life like a big bag of Halloween candy. Focus on the ones you like.

• A great way to choose your opportunities is to sort, organize, and trade.
• Be aware of a “Lack Mentality.” That there’s not enough.
• People compensate for feeling like they don’t have enough by creating a façade that looks like they do.
• In a Lack Mentality, we approach life as if we are in costume.
• The Lack Mentality teaches us to attract what external influences say we need, not what our true selves need.
• Giving up the Lack Mentality makes room for what you want and need.
• Things that take up physical space also take up mental space. That’s why cleaning out closets is so rewarding.
• Coaches are great at helping you sort, organize, and create a plan for delegating, especially when life gets overwhelming.