Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

We're celebrating our first year of podcasting by changing things up and interviewing each other on what makes us Uniquely Brilliant. So here’s the last episode of our first year: Diana Bader.

Diana has always been different.  She can’t easily explain it, but she has always seen the world differently.  For much of her life, she had a strong support system that didn’t always “get” her, but allowed her to be who she was.

It wasn’t until well into her adulthood that she ran into some strong resistance and began slowly changing to belong. However, her need to express her Unique Brilliance was stronger.  It required her to make several hard, but necessary choices, in order to reclaim herself and be who she was meant to be.

Diana now encourages teens, millennials, and the adults around them to “Be Who You Are” and embrace their Unique Brilliance, through coaching, speaking, and her book, “The Positivity Pact” that will be finished by the end of the year. Connect with her at FreshCanvasCoaching.com.

We are celebrating our first year of podcasting by changing things up and interviewing each other on what makes us Uniquely Brilliant. First up, Becky.

Becky Berry has spent her lifetime being a self proclaimed “Quitter.” She moved from job to job, acquiring skills, and thinking, “There has got to be something wrong with me!” Until one day, in July of 2014, she was riding her tractor, mowing her lawn, and listening to the Hack the Entrepreneur podcast, when she realized there was nothing wrong with her, she was simply Uniquely Brilliant.  Now she helps women find their Unique Brilliance through her weekly blog, creating communities where women can gather, 1:1 coaching, and group coaching.  Find out more about Becky at BeckyBerryCoach.com.

Episode 50: Boundaries Set You Free

Becky and Diana discuss how setting boundaries gives you more freedom. 

• Boundaries are often used with other people You need to apply them to you, too.
• Boundaries concentrate the awesomeness of you.
• Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
• Boundaries help those around you know the best time to connect with you.
• Boundaries allow you to set rules so people understand your priorities.
• Boundaries let you be free to be who you are.
• Boundaries exemplify your integrity.
• When you first set boundaries it can feel like you are walking on a new set of legs. Awkward! Stick with them!
• Great leaders set consistent boundaries and thereby model the value of boundaries to others.
• Setting boundaries with yourself and respecting them allows you to set more effective external boundaries.

Becky and Diana explore the value of pausing as a tool for productivity.

• Pausing allows for time to reflect, regroup, and assess.
• A Pause = Planned Procrastination.
• Thoughts are like seeds and need time and space to grow.
• A pause is a temporary stop.
• Taking a pause allows you to address situations from a logical place instead of reacting from emotion.
• You can pause in many ways: play a game on your phone, take a walk, look out the window, take deep breaths. It’s about separating so things look different when you reconnect.
• You need to make decisions at your own speed, not someone else’s.
• To help yourself pause and be in the moment, begin identifying things in your surroundings, and name what you see (down to the carpet and your clothing). It will ground you in the present.
• When you pause due to stress, ask yourself, “Where is this coming from?”

Becky and Diana discuss “The Resistance” and its forms and functions.

• Resistance = the things that try to stop you from forward progress.
• Fighting through resistance requires you to move past your comfort zone.
• There are two types of resistance, internal and external.
• Internal resistance includes all of that inner dialogue, including the “shoulds” that we’ve been told and advice from “experts.”
• The Resistance makes you stronger, because every time you push through it you recommit to your plan.
• External resistance comes from the bumps in the road of life.
• External resistance becomes a bigger problem when we attach expectations to our outcomes.
• Resistance can be an opportunity to stop, reassess, and go after our goal from a different angle.
• Upper Limit problems may require picking apart the resistance, piece by piece when you realize going around it or through it isn’t working.
• Identify the resistance and you can identify a strategy to deal with it.

Becky and Diana explore what author Mike Dooley calls “The Dreaded How.”

• Forcing your HOW? Limits you to what you can imagine, not what’s out there in the world for you.
• Knowing other things like who you are; where you want to go; and why you do what you do, informs your how.
• When you approach your how with expectations, you are setting yourself up for failure.
• Trust that things will unfold as they should.
• Resistance is that thing that pops up and detours you.
• Flexibility allows you to see more angles.
• Be discriminating about what you take in. Sort it by what works for you and let the rest go.
• Be YOU fully, and your how will show up.
• Set an intention for what you want, and watch it unfold.
• At the end of the day be grateful for how your How showed up.

 Stamp of Brilliance

Becky and Diana explore the process of figuring out where you are and where you are going.

• On the journey of life it is easy to get preoccupied and miss where you thought you were headed.
• Before you start moving toward something new, assess your current location.
• Where are you emotionally, financially, physically, with work, relationships?
• Where have you been? What do you want to take with you? What do you need to leave behind?
• Begin with the end in mind.
• Get really clear on your destination.
• Allow the detours along the way to give you another perspective.
• One thing may stay the same as another changes.
• Don’t get so focused on the time table that you miss the journey.
• Enjoy the ride and be open to opportunities along the way.

Becky and Diana challenge you to think of something you really want and ask yourself, “If not now, when?

• Your personality style has a lot to do with when you choose to take action.
• The action style for the four personality styles include:
  • When is Right Now
  • When is better with a friend
  • When is soon
  • When is when it’s right.
• There can be versions of your end goal. It’s not all or nothing from the beginning.
• Complimentary personality styles make great accountability partners.
• When doesn't have to be the end game, it can be the first taste of your goal that motivates you to keep going forward.
• Demystify objections. Ask yourself, “Is this really a problem?”
• Get to the root of your objection to Now.
• Just admitting you want something different is a start.

Stamp of Brilliance

Becky and Diana encourage you to break out your inner 3 year old and begin asking yourself “Why?” 

• When you stop being curious about your world, you drift.
• Finding your Why requires you to ask a series of questions that help you peel back your layers to discover it.
• Your Why provides you your essential motivation for life.
• Match your mission (your Why) to the school or company you want to be a part of.
• Make sure the company or school you are interested in is living out their mission statement.
• Why works when building relationships, too.
• Come up with specific Whys before attending events to get the most out of them.
• Your Why can be a compass or a life preserver.
• Your Why can change through your seasons of life.
• Create an avatar to help you express your Why more concretely.

Stamp Of Brilliance

Becky and Diana give you strategies for finding your personal tribe and explain why you need one. 

• Your personal tribe consists of the handful of people you get close to, and that help you grow. Your work tribe consists of the people at work who get you and support you. Your business tribe consists of those people you are targeting so you can grow your message.
• Isolation can lead to early mortality.
• The word “friend” has been cheapened and devalued from its original meaning due to social media’s overuse. So its definition has been dulled over time.
• True friendship consists of a reciprocal, deep, and connected relationship, where you can not only be your real self, but you are encouraged and respected for it.
• Why build a tribe? For support, to glean other perspectives, and to be heard.
• Pay attention to people who are curious about you and trying to engage with you. They could be the next great member of your tribe.
• To connect with others to expand your tribe, get curious about them, ask questions, and say “Yes” to invitations.
• Find your tribe where you find people who have something in common with you.
• Learn from missed opportunities to connect.
• You don’t have to like everybody; you just have to learn how to deal with them.