Becky and Diana give you excellent strategies to use when life happens and you are faced with the question, now what?

• The best first step is to pause, regroup, and reevaluate.
• Figure out where you are, right now, before deciding where to go next.
• Trying to just plow through it only expends your energy and your resources, leaving you either somewhere you didn’t want to go or spinning your wheels right where you are.
• Take this opportunity to dream of all the possibilities available to you, without judgement.
• Be open to new things.
• Build support and partnerships. They help take some of the pressure off you and give you a different perspective.
• Master something, anything, and build from that success.
• Begin with the end in mind.
• You can course correct as you go.
• Grab some power over your life.
• Track your success, and remember Progress = Success.
• Say Yes!

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When confronted with Now What? pause, dream, and respond with Why Not?

Becky and Diana discuss the negative effect that All or Nothing thinking has on your success.

All or Nothing thinking is about having a preconceived outcome for a situation.

• The focus is solely on the outcome, causing you to miss the process, learning, adventure, and other possible, often better, opportunities.
• It’s similar to the ideology, “My way or the highway.”
• When subscribing to this thought process, you tend to settle for what is instead of being open to what could be.
• Being “All In” is not the same as “All or Nothing.”
• All or Nothing thinking frequently leads to paralysis and is used as an excuse to not start.
• Even baby steps count when you’re stuck.
• The road to success is to just start and keep moving.
• Approach your choices as versions that can be learned from and tweaked instead of done deals.

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When you’re in “All or Nothing” mode, you’re concentrating on the outcome so you miss the process, learning, and growth that can happen with a more flexible approach.

Becky and Diana talk about how assessments can be used to help you develop and grow your self-understanding.

• All assessments – even the goofy ones on Facebook - reveal something about us.
• With each assessment we can gain insights into ourselves including
  • a new perspective
  • new language to describe ourselves
  • new insights into how we work.
• Assessments can also validate what we already know about ourselves.
• The ability to talk about who you are and what you are about at work is the secret to success.
• Assessments can also help you understand how other people perceive you.
• When you’ve been through a major trauma, your assessment results might not be as accurate as you’d expect.
• Sometimes assessments can just be plain wrong. When you take an assessment and you don’t agree with the results, you don’t have to accept them.
• Assessments aren’t the final word on who we are. They can be
  • a starting place for self-exploration or
  • a way to move forward when you’re stuck.

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Being able to describe yourself and what you do is critical to your success – both at work and in the world at large. Assessments can help you figure out new ways to write and talk about yourself.

Becky and Diana explore the need for routines and systems.

• Routines can often feel like you are locked into something, and if you can’t stick to it, even temporarily, it can seem like failure.
• A better way to look at a routine is as a fence with a gate. There are boundaries, but there is a way out for when you need flexibility.
• A routine is easier to keep when paired with a trigger.
• Routines rely on circumstances. Systems are more flexible, and act as safety nets.
• The fence posts of routine are constructed from your priorities.
• Systems are processes we put in place to create order.
• When you become overly attached to your routine, you may come to believe that your success depends on it.
• If you are attached to your routine and circumstances change to disrupt it, it can be scary and unsettling for many people.
• Have a system in place that accounts for when disruptions of your routines happen.
• The key to your system begins by not reacting when your routine is disrupted.

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Routines & Systems will not work unless they honor your personality and priorities.

Becky and Diana help you navigate the nuances of small talk so you can make better connections with people. 

• Being able to communicate with a group cements you as part of that group.
• Although small talk can be tedious, getting too deep too quickly in a conversation can also be awkward.
• When approaching a group listen for an opportunity to connect or comment about what they’re talking about.
• Listening with non-verbal acknowledgement is a great way to validate someone.
• Eye contact is essential.
• Gestures like touching your nose occasionally or using your hands, draws a person’s attention to you.
• Ask questions to connect with the group.
• In a social situation start with people and groups where success is most likely.
• The goal is to be comfortable in the group.
• Don’t be afraid of silence, it often makes room for profound comments.

Stamp of Brilliance x2!

Meet people where they are in a conversation. No judging.

Small talk opens a door for you to make a connection with a person or group.

Now available on Google Play Music

Becky and Diana discuss the correct way to praise someone if you want to see results.

• There is a correct way to praise and an incorrect way to praise. Each will give you very different outcomes.
• Two types of praise
  • Praising for Ability
  • Praising for Effort
• Praising for ability results in people becoming stuck, discouraged, and seeing themselves as failures when they meet a challenge they have to struggle with.
• Praising for effort empowers people to keep trying when challenged and results in a growth mindset and improves confidence.
• Ability is defined as things that come easy to a person such as appearance, natural strengths, and talents.
• Effort = reward for failure = learning = failing forward = resilience = confidence.
• Praising for ability implies judgement.
• Parents, teachers, coaches, & bosses real job is to move people forward, which takes effort on the part of the people moving!
• Even baby steps are effort and should be praised.
• When you are too focused on the end result, you miss the effort of the journey and the opportunity to praise.

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When you praise for effort, you get effort in return. 

***Many of the thoughts and quotes for this episode were inspired by or read directly from Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck.

Becky and Diana discuss how

 The quote from Eleanor

“To be mature you have to realize

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“Once you know your values, it’s

Dear Listeners,

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for listening, as we celebrate the milestone of a 1/2 a year’s worth of podcasts. 

If you are just finding our podcast, this is an excellent place to start your journey with us.  We discuss some of our favorite highlights and “a-ha” moments over the last 25 episodes. 

Please share your favorites with us on Twitter (@youbrilliant), via email ([email protected]), or leave a comment on our Facebook Page. 

We are looking forward to many more conversations over the next 6 months and for many years to come.

Your Uniquely Brilliant Hosts,

Becky & Diana

Becky and Diana explain what role Purpose plays in creating a successful life.

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To find your Purpose remember:

Passion + Values = Purpose

Quotes:

“There is more credit and satisfaction in being a first-rate truck driver than a tenth-rate executive.”  BC Forbes

“The purpose of an education is to replace an empty mind with an open one.” Malcolm Forbes

“Success demands singleness of purpose.” Vince Lombardi

“The Meaning of life is to find your gift.  The Purpose of life is to give it away.”  Pablo Picasso

Becky and Diana discuss the fourth part of P4, Passions, and how your passions work together with your Personality, Preferences, and Proficiencies to give you power over the direction of your life.

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For Life Satisfaction: Feed Your Passions