Becky and Diana challenge us to assess the stories we tell ourselves.

• Our stories are how we present ourselves to the world.
• All of our stories can be true, and we get to choose which one we live in.
• We can change the stories we tell ourselves.
• Communicating an attitude of gratitude in our stories makes it hard to stay stuck in the negative.
• Victimhood is frequently the default story, but it doesn't have to be.
• Attachment to the past and to expectations makes us victims in our stories.
• What if things could work out better than we can even imagine?
• Uncoachable clients choose to stay stuck in their negative story.
• Surround yourself with people who value your story.
• Stories enforce our boundaries.

Becky and Diana discuss the frustrations of communication gaps.

• We have to learn the language of the people we want to communicate with.
• Personality differences often contribute to communication gaps.
• We need to embrace change to understand.
• People who are not entrepreneurial have a hard time understanding that lifestyle choice.
• It is frustrating being questioned about a choice we have already made and having to explain ourselves.
• Just because we don't understand, doesn't mean it isn't valid.
• Resilience and grit keep us moving whether we feel heard or not.
• Everyone has had different life experiences that shape their choices and their ability to hear others.
• Always assume good intentions.
• When listening, put down your personal filter, and really hear the other person.

Becky and Diana talk about Core Values and how they keep you, you.

• Core Values are the building blocks of who we are.
• Core Values help us stay aligned with what we need.
• We are more grounded when we have identified and adhere to our Core Values.
• Diana's core values are both her default and reset buttons.
• They express basic truths about us.
• We know we are living in these values when others recognize them in us.
• Core values can help us assess who brings value to our lives.
• We are energy sources that need to be recharged.
• Core Values give us a place to check in when we are out of balance.
• We can take our core values with us anywhere.

Becky and Diana challenge the notion that there is only one right way to do anything.

Something might not work for us if:

• Should, have to, supposed to, are our reasons for doing it.
• We recognize it's not working.
• We become aware of alternatives.
• We hold on to the idea even when it's not working.
• We aren't ready for the solution, so we only recognize it's a fit when we are ready.
• We are tapped out.
• We just don't fit the mold.
• We process things differently.
• It's not a fit for our personality.
• It's just the wrong speed for our lives.

Becky and Diana host their friend and sister coach, Tonya Harvey. They have a lively discussion about their words-of-the-year and a general overview of how their year is going. The podcast was simulcast as a Facebook Live video session and can be found on https://www.facebook.com/pg/beckyberrycoach/videos/.

• Picking an annual word keeps our main focus top of mind.
• When we do stream of consciousness writing, our brains clear and make room for the intentions behind our focus word.
• Choosing a word-of-the-year helps our brain shift and see things differently.
• When we choose one word or concept to focus on, it's easier to maintain that focus all year long.
• Once we say out loud that we want change, the change begins.
• Sharing our successes is key to building more successes.
• Taking one day at a time keeps us present amongst chaos.
• Our annual word helps us tame expectations.
• The words we choose as our focus help give us the discipline to move with the currents of life, ie, surf!

Becky is in a funk with a calendar full of positive events, so she and Diana hash out why.

• The Funk can occur even when everything is going great.
• When we leave no margin in our lives for downtime and reflection, we can slip into a funk out of sheer self-preservation.
• Happiness Hangovers occurs as a reminder to slow down.
• The Funk can also be viewed as growing pains.
• We can find the time we need to deal with an emergency, so, we need to make time for downtime so we don't cause one.
• If we take in too much, even really great stuff, we will probably explode or implode.
• The sheer overwhelm of everyday noise, including things unfinished or pushed aside, wears us down.
• Fragmented energy makes us feel out of control.
• Knowing how much change we can deal with can help us limit our time in The Funk.

Becky and Diana challenge us to look at the drama in our lives and recognize areas where we might be contributing to it.

• Basic life stuff becomes drama based on how we react to it.
• We create most of our own drama.
• We can make a conscious choice to not join the drama.
• Drama happens when we try to control situations that are out of our control.
• Most people just accept drama and then wonder why they aren't happy.
• Feeding and maintaining the drama makes it grow.
• There is a place for drama, and we can put a time limit on it.
• You might be creating drama if you're:
  • at the end of your rope.
  • blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your actions.
  • making excuses instead of coming up with solutions.
  • avoiding people or situations instead of confronting them.

Becky and Diana talk about how saying yes to opportunities has influenced their lives, and how it can influence yours, too.

• If we don't say Yes to an opportunity right away, sometimes the opportunity keeps knocking until we do.
• Saying Yes helps us expand our lives.
• Sometimes we are nudged into a Yes because someone else sees an opportunity that we can't.
• "Live A Yes!" Is just another way of saying "Take a chance."
• Trust your instincts before you let your brain talk you out of an opportunity.
• Saying Yes requires trusting ourselves and other people.
• The more we live Yes lives, the easier it becomes to say Yes.
• Living a Yes life isn't always about saying Yes.
• It is easier to say Yes to things that align with our values.
• To pull yourself out of a funk, try saying "Yes" and see if it changes your mood.

Episode 114: Control vs Agency

Becky teaches Diana about the value of agency and how it empowers us.

• Agency gives us more choice about the direction of our path.
• Believing in agency is a mindset.
• Agency gives us independence.
• We get to ask ourselves, "What can I influence?"
• When we have agency over our lives we can take back our power.
• Agency can't be conferred; it has to be claimed.
• Agency allows us to make empowered choices.
• It gives us the confidence to take a risk and the ability to rebound if we fail.
• In relationships, agency allows us to empower and support those around us, instead of trying to control them.
• Removing the element of control from relationships gives them room to grow and flourish.
• With agency we don't feel attached to a particular outcome.

Becky and Diana share how podcasts have influenced their lives.

• Hack The Entrepreneur was Becky's gateway into podcasts. It taught her she was awesome just as she is.
• Doing the Uniquely Brilliant podcast helped Diana find her voice.
• There are tons of rich content in podcasts.
• Podcasts help us find people who get us.
• Podcasts are like radio on demand.
• There are all types of amazing nuggets of information hidden in podcasts.
• Podcasts help us connect with people we never imagined we could.
• Podcasts are one of the last free platforms for content.
• Podcasts enhance the growth mindset.
• To find a podcast that you might enjoy, research actors, authors, and business leaders or by topics like humor.