Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky and Diana discuss 4 of their favorite communication frameworks and how becoming acquainted with them can help you navigate the Holidays.

When we know more about how people communicate and how they receive communications everyone has a more enjoyable experience. The language in the explanations of each type also gives us clues about how to talk to various people.

• DISC Styles
  • D - Director: Makes sure everyone is doing their part and keeps things on track.
  • I - Initiator: Keeps things fun. The social butterfly flying around the room.
  • S - Relator: Keeper of the traditions, mediator, and connector.
  • C - Analyzer: Makes sure nothing is forgotten.

• Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tendencies
  • Rebel - They get there when they get there.
  • Obliger - Give them specifics and they are there on time.
  • Upholder - Will be there exactly on time.
  • Questioners - Want to know why you want them there at that time.

5 Love Languages

• • Words of Affirmation - Appreciate compliments and thank you notes.
  • Acts of Service - Appreciate help in the kitchen or clearing the table.
  • Gifts - Appreciate Hostess gifts.
  • Quality Time - Hangout with the host/hostess as they prepare.
  • Physical Touch - Be aware of boundaries.

DISC: http://jilldaviscoaching.com/your-new-best-friend/

Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies: https://gretchenrubin.com/2015/01/ta-da-the-launch-of-my-quiz-on-the-four-tendencies-learn-about-yourself/

5 Love Languages: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Becky and Diana discuss the voices we carry with us and provide ideas to make sure they are the best ones for us.

• We get to choose whose voice we listen to.
• Sometimes we can decide to just take a nugget of wisdom from one of the voices.
• We also accumulate voices when we read
• Where we are in life is a great barometer for choosing whose voice we decide to listen to.
• Words like "The One," "The Best," and "The Only" are clues that the voice speaking to us may not really be for us, and that's okay.
• Often when we take on the wrong voices, we start feeling wrong.
• Our role models are excellent sources for finding good voices to listen to.
• Taking in every voice you hear can become an overwhelming burden.
• Replace the negative voices with positive ones.

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the value of evolving as a person instead of continually reinventing ourselves.

• Our podcast is a great example of evolution. We haven't re-invented it; it has evolved.
• Reinvention - The action or process through which something is changed so much it appears to be entirely new.
• Reinvention implies something is wrong and needs to be scrapped and started over from scratch.
• Evolution - Gradual development of something from simple to complex.
• Evolution encourages adaptation and appreciating where you are.
• We all have life lessons and skills that have made us more of who we are.
• Every experience that has gotten us here has also helped us become richer and more interesting people.
• Some people seem to evolve independently of their circumstances. Others need models.

Becky and Diana challenge us to adopt a new perspective and look at the Calendar differently.

• It is easy to get stuck in a "Lack" mindset with time when we are following an arbitrary calendar that doesn't match our time needs.
• Time flows if we allow it.
• Our life calendars don't run from January through December, so we can reorganize the calendar in a way that suits us.
• Time on our calendars isn't real until we act on it.
• Working with our own natural rhythms helps our lives run smoother.
• Every day is a new day!
• It's hard to value time that we didn't create or organize.
• Age is an arbitrary number.
• We don't have to buy into cultural restrictions about certain ages are perceived.
• Your mindset determines your mental age, not the calendar!

Becky and Diana discuss the things we do that lead us to taking on too much.

• The need for control is one of the biggest factors in taking on too much.
• When we push ourselves too hard it can take longer to achieve what we set out to do.
• A key to avoiding taking on too much is to find more time.
• We have more control over our time than we think we do.
• Make time work for you, not the other way around.
• The sense of overwhelm can be attributed to confining ourselves to arbitrary time frames, like the end of our year occurring in December.
• Ask yourself, "What is most important?" and then do it.
• We get to decide what stays and what goes in our life.
• Often we take on too much to avoid what we need to do.
• Some things don't need to be dealt with, they simply need to be let go.

Becky and Diana analyze the nature of grounding and feeling grounded.

• Being ungrounded can feel like flying without a place to land.
• We can't fly forever.
• It is important to have both a launching point and a landing point.
• Grounded is the only state we can both pause and launch from.
• Grounding gives us a sense of belonging and ownership of our space.
• If you know who you are, and trust yourself, you are grounded.
• When we are internally grounded we can take the feeling with us.
• When we find people in our world who accept us as we are they serve as a grounding force.
• If we trust our physical environment then it is a grounding space.
• To help us get grounded: Spend time in nature. Meditate. Shut off the internal dialog. Connect with water or the actual ground.

Becky and Diana talk about who and what we trust, or maybe need to learn to trust.

The Process:

If we aren't ready for the process, it's really hard to embrace it.

Ourselves:

When we are comfortable with something it is easier to trust it. Developing our skills improves our ability to trust ourselves.

Our Guts:

When we learn to trust our gut instincts it becomes easier to fend off those shoulds and fears. It makes it easier to act on our own instincts.

Others:

Everyone seems to have an opinion about our lives. It is important to cultivate people who want the best for us.

Universe:

The heart of trusting the Universe is staying open to what's out there so we can get out of our own way.

We can only trust The Process and The Universe when we trust ourselves.

Becky and Diana identify things that hold us back and provide solutions to beat them back!

• Fear is at the core of much of what holds us back.
• Future-casting is worrying about what could happen and projecting our fear into the future in a way that keeps us from moving forward.
• When we are not willing to share our concerns and thoughts with others, we may be afraid of hearing other perspectives.
• We have to get the nonproductive stuff out of our heads.
• We often have expectations, or take on those of other people, that hold us back.
• Sometimes we surround ourselves with the wrong people and end up with the wrong voices in our heads.
• Not knowing what we want can keep us stuck where we are.
• When something is holding you back, ask yourself, "Is this real?" "Is it true?"
• Whose time are you living on?

Becky and Diana talk about how pivoting has helped them in their entrepreneurial journeys and their lives, and how it can help you.

• Pivoting represents a course evolution. It's not necessarily a huge correction; it's more of a tweak.
• Shifts can happen before we realize it.
• There is always a reason things pivot.
• When we resist the pivot, we get stuck and can fail.
• A Pivot Point is the foundational piece that a pivot moves around.
• Knowing who we are helps us become the pivot point in our own lives.
• In order to pivot successfully, we must be receptive, adaptable, flexible, and aware.
• When we don't have a strong pivot point, we bounce around haphazardly.
• We are sold a bill of goods that life is linear.
• There are no straight lines in nature. Pivots happen.

Becky and Diana share things that no one ever told them.

No one ever told us:

• Diana - I could reject a job offer that didn't feel like the right fit.
• Becky - Not everyone is going to get you, and that's okay!
• Diana - I didn't have to be part of only one core group.
• Becky - Not everyone is an extrovert, and introverts bring so much to the table!
• Diana – It's just as easy to believe things are working in our favor as it is to believe they are not.
• Becky – We can take what we like and leave the rest.