Have you ever wondered if you were grieving the right way?

If you cried too much—or not enough.
If you healed too slowly—or too fast.
If you looked around and asked yourself, Why am I still hurting when others seem okay already?

In this episode of Unlearning Out Loud, Kat holds space for a quiet truth many of us struggle with: grief doesn’t follow instructions. It doesn’t move on a schedule. And it was never meant to look the same for everyone.

Through personal reflections and stories of loss—of people, relationships, dreams, and moments that mattered—this episode gently unpacks the unspoken rules we internalized about grief, strength, and healing. The pressure to “be strong,” to move on quickly, or to grieve in silence often leaves us questioning ourselves instead of honoring our hearts.

In this reflection, we explore:

• Why grief takes so many different shapes

• How childhood messages shaped the way we believe we’re “supposed” to grieve

• The importance of forgiving yourself for how your healing unfolds

• Why grief is often displaced love—not weakness

• And how loss doesn’t disappear, but transforms with us

This episode isn’t about fixing grief or rushing it away. It’s about softening the pressure, releasing comparison, and allowing your heart to heal in the way it knows how.

If you’re grieving something right now—a person, a relationship, a dream, or a version of your life—this is a gentle reminder: you’re not late, you’re not failing, and you’re not broken. You’re healing.

Take your time.
Care for your heart.
That is enough.

Follow Unlearning Out Loud on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss the next episode, and join the reflections on Instagram at @unlearning.outloud for gentle reminders and excerpts from each episode.

Have you ever stayed in something long after it stopped feeling right—because leaving felt like failure?

In this episode of Unlearning Out Loud, Kat reflects on the deeply ingrained belief that walking away means giving up. The kind of belief shaped by hustle culture, childhood narratives, and the pressure to prove strength through endurance—even when the cost is your peace, health, or sense of self.

Through personal stories and the experience of a close friend, Kat explores how staying too long can quietly turn into self-abandonment, and how choosing to leave can actually be an act of clarity, growth, and self-respect.

This episode gently unpacks:

• Why we confuse persistence with worth

• How hustle culture glorified struggle and demonized rest

• The difference between resilience and self-neglect

• How walking away can be a recalibration—not a failure

• And why choosing yourself doesn’t make you weak—it makes you honest

If you’re in a season where you’re afraid to leave a job, a role, a relationship, a dream, or even an old version of yourself, this episode is a soft reminder: sometimes walking away isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of returning to yourself.

Take what you need. Leave the rest.
You’re allowed to choose the life that feels like home.

Follow Unlearning Out Loud on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss the next episode, and join the reflections on Instagram at @unlearning.outloud.

Have you ever held back your feelings because you were afraid they might be too much for someone else? Afraid of taking up space, disappointing people, or becoming a burden?

In this episode of (Un)Learning Out Loud, I sit with a belief I am still learning to unravel. The idea that vulnerability equals inconvenience, and that being strong means carrying everything alone. I am not speaking from a place of having it all figured out. I am speaking from the in-between. From the part of me that is still scared, but also tired of hiding.

Together, we explore where this belief comes from, how it shows up in the body, in relationships, and in silence, and how it often begins long before we have words for it. This is a soft reflection on being the strong one, the listener, the one who adjusts, and what it means to slowly choose honesty instead of isolation.

No quick fixes. No pressure to overshare. Just quiet awareness, compassion for the parts of us that learned to shrink, and a gentle invitation to practice vulnerability in small, safe ways.

If you have ever felt like your feelings were too heavy, or that you were easier to love when you needed nothing, this episode is for you.

Many of us were taught to stay small so we would not look arrogant. We brush off compliments, downplay our effort, and call it humility. But often, it is fear.

In this episode, Kat explores the difference between false humility, arrogance, and healthy pride, and how learning to receive recognition with honesty can help us feel seen without losing our grounded-ness. Quiet reflections, gentle reminders, and a soft invitation to take up space in a truthful way.

Have you ever thought you were done with a lesson, only to find yourself living it again?
You pause, a little frustrated, a little confused, wondering, didn’t I already heal from this?

In this episode, we’re reflecting on the spiral nature of healing — how it circles back, not to punish us, but to help us embody what we’ve learned in deeper ways.
We’ll explore what it means to meet familiar patterns with compassion instead of shame, and how returning to old lessons doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re integrating.

We’ll talk about:
✨ Why awareness alone isn’t enough to rewrite a belief
✨ How to recognize growth even when it feels like repetition
✨ What forgiveness and self-compassion look like in real healing

This is a gentle reminder that progress isn’t always about moving forward.
Sometimes it’s about coming home to the same lessons with softer eyes and steadier grace.

You are not starting over. You are returning wiser.

Every revisit is proof that healing is still alive in you.

Have you ever found yourself trying to solve someone else’s problems before they even ask for help?
That automatic urge to plan, fix, and make things better, even when you’re already exhausted?

In this episode, we’re exploring the hidden weight behind that need to fix everything — the fear of things falling apart, of watching someone you love struggle, or of feeling helpless when you can’t make things right.
We’ll look at how this pattern often starts early, when we learn that being useful means being worthy, and how it quietly turns care into control.

We’ll talk about:
✨ Why helping can sometimes come from fear, not love
✨ The difference between holding space and holding responsibility
✨ And how learning to let go can become its own form of compassion

This is a gentle reminder that not every burden is ours to carry.
Sometimes, true care means trusting that others can find their way too.

You don’t have to fix everything to be kind.
You don’t have to control everything to feel safe.
And you don’t have to carry it all to be enough.

Have you ever felt that restless pull to keep doing, even when you’re exhausted?
That quiet voice that whispers, you should be doing something, even when all you want is to rest?

In this episode, we’re exploring the pressure to always do more. Not just at work, but in how we love, give, and show up for others.
How we learned to measure our worth by our productivity, generosity, or availability, and how that belief quietly shapes the way we rest, connect, and care for ourselves.

We’ll talk about:
✨ The fear of being seen as lazy or “not enough” when we slow down
✨ How people-pleasing and overworking often share the same root
✨ What it looks like to redefine success, love, and worth through peace instead of performance

This is a gentle reflection on unlearning the belief that doing more makes us more.
We don’t have to earn our rest, our love, or our worth. We already are enough, even in stillness.

It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to take up space without producing or proving.You don’t have to do more to be more, you already are.

Have you ever felt that familiar ache of guilt after saying no, stepping back, or finally putting yourself first?

In this episode, I’m exploring the often misunderstood emotion of guilt that shows up when we start choosing ourselves—especially after years of being the dependable one, the helper, the one who never wanted to let anyone down.

We’ll talk about:

• The emotional weight of setting boundaries that feel unfamiliar but necessary

• Why choosing peace can feel like betrayal, even when it isn’t

• And how guilt doesn’t always mean you’ve done something wrong—it often just means you’re doing something different

  
  

This is a gentle unpacking of what it means to unlearn over-responsibility, release the need to always be available, and start trusting that your needs matter too.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to feel unsure.
You’re not selfish—you’re just healing.
And you’re doing better than you think.

Have you ever felt the urge to explain your silence—to justify taking space, resting, or simply not responding right away?

In this episode, I’m sitting with the quiet discomfort of not being understood. I’m unpacking the pressure to explain ourselves, especially when we’re choosing rest, distance, or a slower pace—decisions that often don’t come with easy explanations.

We’ll talk about:

• Why silence can feel unsafe when we’re used to seeking validation

• How it feels to take space without the urge to perform or people-please

• And the freedom that comes with honoring your needs—no disclaimers, no footnotes

This is a gentle reflection on reclaiming your right to rest, your right to be misunderstood, and your right to choose yourself—fully and quietly.

No pressure to be “on.” No need to over-explain. Just space to be.

Ever felt like you had to show up for everyone—even when you were exhausted, overwhelmed, or barely holding it together yourself?

In this episode, I’m reflecting on a pattern I didn’t realize I was stuck in: the quiet pressure to be available, helpful, and responsive all the time… even at the cost of my own well-being.

We’ll talk about:

• Where that urge to always “be there” comes from

• What it feels like to step back and reclaim your time

• And the emotional conflict that comes with finally saying “no”

This is a soft unpacking of what it means to choose yourself without guilt—and how to hold compassion for the version of you who didn’t know how to do that before.

No quick fixes here—just honest stories, gentle truths, and the messy middle of unlearning people-pleasing.