Behavior deteriorates under stress.

That simple statement has been in most of my presentations, regardless of whether I’m talking about dogs or people. It’s a key idea that we need to keep in mind for reducing behavior we don’t like and creating better responses.

Michael Shikashio is well known for his work with aggressive dogs. To shake things up a bit, I invited him to join me in a conversation about aggressive behavior … in people.

The human brain is more sophisticated than the canine brain. People often point to our bigger brains as evidence that we are more evolved, more rational, and more thoughtful about our behavior.

It’s a nice story, but the vast majority of our behavior springs from the limbic system, the center of our emotions. Aggression is closely tied to emotion. And it can be a powerful tool for getting what we want—in the short term, it works!

But the risks of aggression outweigh the rewards. Aggressive behavior breaks down trust and communication. It destroys rapport. We’re a social species; we need good relationships with others before we can truly thrive.

https://colleenpelar.com/83

IF I DON'T FOLLOW MY HEART, WILL I HAVE REGRETS?

That's such a powerful question. None of us can be guaranteed an easy life or one without risk--no matter how much we may wish for safety and certainty.

And, knowing that, we're faced with choices that require introspection: What would you like to have happen? And are you brave enough to go for it?

Ann Waterbury, CPDT-KA, UW-AAB, CNWI, CDBC, talked with me about the transformation and living life without regrets.

Tell us, what do you feel called to do?

https://colleenpelar.com/82

Jenny Blake is the author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One. I invited her to come on UNLEASHED (at work & home) because we're all in state of flux these days. Every pet professional is being asked to change standard ways of doing business, and it's stressful. But it can also be exciting.

Jenny likes to think of this as "radical reimagining." What possibilities do you see when you lean into your intuition and judgment?

Gavin de Becker's book, The Gift of Fear, does a great job of explaining how your senses are always communicating with you to keep you safe--when you don't override them with logic or a need to be perceived as nice or polite. 

You know the power of these gifts. You need to rely them daily in your work with animals. But do you trust them to guide you in your interactions with other people? With yourself?

Sometimes you'll get caught in a frustrating loop, wondering "What is wrong with me? Shouldn't I be happy?" You may even get sucked into a spiral of guilt or feel powerless to make changes.

You don't need to feel guilty. And you aren't powerless. 

During this time of tremendous change, take this opportunity to explore what you want for your life ... and what's getting in the way.

Jenny and I discussed the power of Byron Katie's books, including Loving What Is and A Mind at Home with Itself. Byron Katie is most known for her four pivotal questions that can help you shift your mindset and discover new options:

• Is it true?

Becoming more aware of your thoughts (whew, so many thoughts!!!!) and learning to broaden your perspective are two of the most valuable life skills anyone can develop. If you'd like some support with this, let's talk!

You are not alone; it just feels that way.

Have you ever received a complaint that undermined your confidence? Ever gotten a bad review that made you doubt your skill? It's a terrible experience, isn't it? 

Complaints are a common occurrence these days. And in most cases, the complaint says more about the complainer than the complainee. But when you're the focus on the compliant, it's scary, unsettling, and, often, lonely. 

In this episode, Marci Kirk, DVM, shares her experience with a Board licensure complaint and how developing the courage to share her experience made the whole situation better.

Community is a big piece of resilience. Finding your people--the ones who will cheer your wins and remind you of your strength when you struggle--is key. There's incredible power in working together. Great groups make it easier for each person to make changes and grow. 

If you are a pet pro looking for a safe, supportive community that will help you grow into your best self, check out the Positive Changes small-group coaching program. You are not alone. Together we are stronger. https://colleenpelar.com/positive-changes

"You love dogs. I love dogs. Let's talk about that."

There's incredible power in finding common ground and using that to build a foundation for growth.

Laurie Williams, owner of Pup N' Iron Canine Enrichment Center, joined me to talk about the power of relationships for improving results. She shared her ideas of how pet professionals can improve their communication with clients--and also with other pet professionals.

What would the world look like if we put the same care and attention toward our fellow humans as we give to animals?

It requires effort and intention, but the benefits are profound.You'll get new ideas, fresh perspectives, and a healthy dose of reality when you spend time truly connecting with others. ​

You win. They win. We all win. Together.

THERE'S NO LIMIT ON COMPASSION ... This is the recording of a live interview recorded on May 21, 2020. It predates George Floyd's death and the dramatic events that have followed. And yet the theme and discussion are timely and resonate deeply in this moment.

Laura Dorfman, CPDT-KA, PMCT, and Leslie McDevitt, MLA, CPDT-KA, CDBC, are both meditation leaders and I invited them to discuss the broad concept of spirituality from a non-religious perspective.

They shared thoughts about how having a sense of connection to others, to the world at large, to nature, to movement, to life allows you to bear witness, be present, and help ease the pain of others while simultaneously allowing you to experience greater peace and joy. https://colleenpelar.com/78

Who better to give advice on beginnings than a beginner?

Just a year ago, Ali Evanson started her dog training business, I Got This Sit.

Many things have changed since then, and now, like the rest of us, Ali is working to adapt and begin anew.

Beginnings ask you to imagine a new future and then commit to making it the best it can possibly be.

Often it’s scary.

Okay, usually it’s scary to begin something new.

You can’t control the outcome. There are no guarantees. But when you’re clear about what you want, you’ll find your personal balance of control and acceptance. 

You’ll feel empowered to move forward and take empowered action.

What helps you feel ready to begin, ready to take action, ready to move toward your goals? 

https://colleenpelar.com/77

Lauren Heath, CPPS, talked with Colleen Pelar about how she's navigating the changes coronavirus has brought to her pet-sitting business. Without discounting the very real worries she has for her business, she also said she feels more free and has learned some valuable lessons about self-care that she'll carry with her into the future. She's finding clarity about what really matters to her. https://colleenpelar.com/76

This is a rebroadcast of one of our first UNLEASHED (at work & home) episodes. Patricia McConnell, PhD, joined me to talk about the importance of emotions and, as always happens when talking with her, the conversation veered out into larger life lessons as well.

https://colleenpelar.com/7

When every day feels the same, how do you find your footing? What helps you feel grounded and centered? 

Pet professionals are caretakers. They're known for showing up in service of others, for working themselves to the point of exhaustion, and for giving until it hurts.

This is your time to explore what really matters to you and what changes you'd like to make moving forward. https://colleenpelar.com/74