You don't have to feel resilient to be resilient. That quote from Leanne Lilly, DVM, DACVB, is worth embroidering on a pillow so you don't forget it.

It’s true, but somehow it doesn’t sound right.

Surely resilience is about being strong, purposeful, and able to leap tall building in a single bound. 🦸🏻‍♀️

But what if it’s not?

What if being resilient is having the courage to keep showing up for yourself, in big ways and in small?

What if it’s creating the internal and external support structure you need to live life on your own terms?

What if being resilient is about intention? Making a commitment to examine your thoughts, feelings, and actions so you can make wise choices about what comes next?

And what if it’s okay that it’s hard sometimes?

What impact would it have if you were certain that you are good enough, worthy, and more than capable of facing whatever comes your way?

You ARE resilient. Right now. Just as you are. And you can become more resilient. 

Listen to learn Dr. Lilly's suggestions for becoming more resilient and prioritizing what matters most to you. https://colleenpelar.com/67

Love, according to Barbara Frederickson, PhD, a leading researcher of emotions, is "micro-moments of warmth and connection."

She says love occurs anytime two or more people (even strangers) connect over a shared positive emotion (large or small).

These moments create changes in your brain and body that broaden your perspective, help you become more attuned to others, and allow you greater creativity and emotional regulation. Over time, little by little, these changes reshape your life for the better.

Learn how to get started creating micro-moments of warmth and connection with the people you encounter each day. https://colleenpelar.com/66

When something wonderful happens, who do you call? How do they respond?

Does that person celebrate with you and increase your joyful experience? Or do they dampen your spirits and leave you wishing you hadn’t called?

Research has shown that how people respond to each other’s good news is a better indicator of the quality of the relationship than how they respond to each other’s disappointments.

Even people who mean well can suck the air out of your sails by sharing their own experience with something similar, pointing out potential pitfalls of your awesome news, or being distracted or disengaged.

But not you. No, you won’t do that.

You can avoid that trap with a simple technique called active constructive responding. Learn about it here. https://colleenpelar.com

Each of us wants to be happy and healthy. Most people don’t see how closely the two are tied.

Yes, you can be unhappy and healthy. And you can be happy and unhealthy. But did you know that improving one of these states almost always has a beneficial effect on the other? They’re closely interconnected.

Lori Stevens is an expert in helping dogs age well, and I invited her to explore ideas of how pet professionals can age well also.

She says that health, mobility, and engagement are three areas she focuses on for her canine clients. She wants the dogs to feel, to borrow Kathy Sdao’s phrase, the “spark of joy” in their lives.

You deserve a spark of joy too.

You deserve to feel a deep sense of connection with others and the world at large.

You deserve to be excited and enthused by learning more about the topics that interest you and sharing what you’ve learned with others.

You deserve a body that feels good and works well. You deserve to sleep comfortably and deeply and to wake up refreshed. You deserve to eat food that is delicious and nourishing.

You deserve to spend time in beautiful surroundings, exercising and exploring, and also resting and relaxing.

You deserve all that and more.

Are you getting it? If not, what’s getting in your way? What choices—big and small—can you make right now that your future self will thank you for?

Creating small, sustainable habits is a powerful way of making large, lasting improvements in your quality of life.

It’s the best investment you can possibly make for aging well, happily and healthily. Lori shares lots of great ideas in this episode. I have no doubt you’ll be inspired to make a few changes that will support you.

You may also be interested in the list of short (15 minutes or less), medium (about an hour), and long (2 hours or more) activities that the members of UNLEASHED Resilience came up with in a learning lab session. Perhaps these will spark some new ideas for you. https://colleenpelar.com/68

Advocacy can be challenging, exhausting work.

This week on UNLEASHED (at work & home), Allison Leslie, LCSW, talked with me about "consultation" and its many benefits:

• Less burnout

That’s a win by any measure!

Consultation can be one-on-one (like in coaching calls) or done as part of a small group. The key is that it be a safe place to share your truth, knowing that the participants have your back and want what’s best for you.

You’ll be amazed at how having this support will allow you to ease the burden of your work and find ways to develop stronger and more effective skills so you can continue making a difference without burning yourself out.

Would you like an easy way to get more energy when you need it? How about a way to relax and unwind more quickly?

Listen in to learn an incredibly simple strategy that will help you manage your energy and your emotions better.

Burnout is normal—and fixable

• Have you had the “Sunday night feeling,” the stomach-sinking realization that your break is over and it’s time to go back to work?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, it’s likely you’ve experienced a period of professional burnout.

Leslie Stewart, PhD, LPC, says this is completely normal and to be expected.

Really. It’s normal. And expected.

In fact, most helping professionals (counselors, doctors, nurses, firefighters, social workers, and, yes, pet professionals) will have a few bouts of professional burnout in their careers.

Well, that’s good news and bad news.

The good news is that there are lots of helpful strategies you can use to set yourself up for success. You may not be able to completely avoid periods of struggle, but knowing what to look for and when to intervene will put you way ahead of the curve.

Visit https://colleenpelar.com/62 for the show notes and to download the Professional Quality of Life Scale, Self-Care Assessment, and recommended wellness activities.

When you are exhausted or burned out, it may come as a surprise to learn that volunteering your time and energy can be one of the very best ways to get your mojo back. It's counter-intuitive, but true.

Studies have shown that volunteering increases your empathy, builds social bonds, and leads to greater happiness. In fact, people who volunteer feel like they have more time than people who don't (even when they have the same demands on their time).

https://colleenpelar.com

Jamie Holms, RVT, says her extraordinary organizational skills are a coping strategy that developed during a traumatic childhood. Quite simply, she learned to control as many factors as she could to help her deal with all of the chaos and stress she faced daily.

Today those organizational skills make her a valued team member and help her accomplish her goals. 

Coping strategies are interesting. We all have them. We all need them. Some are healthy and productive, others are not, but all of them spring from a place of self-protection.

The tricky part about coping strategies is that they often have their roots in childhood. You may not be aware of what you do to help yourself manage stress or deal with overwhelm because you’ve been doing it for so long that the behaviors are on autopilot. You may not even notice when you’re using them.

Jamie had to make deliberate choices and learn new strategies to ensure that she brings forth the best of her coping skills and leaves behind the elements that no longer serve her.

Developing the self-awareness to observe your behavior and make deliberate choices about it is quite simply the most powerful, life-changing skill ever. It allows you to explore new ways of being, to find what feels right and true for you, and to make deliberate choices about how you want to live your life.

Easier said than done, right? Absolutely. There’s a learning curve here, but it’s worth it. So worth it.

And this awesome discussion with Jamie Holms is filled with practical tips to get you started.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• 168 Hours, You Have More Time than You Think, by Laura Vanderkam: https://amzn.to/35c8ZDJ 

Note: I may earn a small commission on any books or products recommended on this page. I only include products my guest or I have used and recommend. UNLEASHED (at work & home) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Exploration is something that most of us think is a good idea in theory, but we don’t do it.

The estimates vary, but neuroscientists and psychologists agree that large chunks of human behavior are merely habits and patterns. The low estimates are 40%. Some estimates go as high as 80-90% of behavior is just on autopilot.

That’s good because it makes us efficient, but it doesn’t necessarily make us happy.

That’s where rules come in. You can create your own rules to spark creativity and exploration, to create new opportunities, and to discover new things about yourself.