For our inaugural Patreon Raffle, Nicole's friend Jack* won and mercifully gave us the option of watching either the defanged RoboCop remake or European mega-bomb Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets starring two of the worst actors we've watched on the pod thus far: sick and dying actor Dane Dehaan from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Cara "Peg the Patriarchy" Delevingne from Suicide Squad. It's also directed by notorious French pedophile/former good movie maker Luc Besson, the man behind Léon: The Professional and The Fifth Element. Based on the influential French graphic novel Valérian and Laureline, this is a film Besson has sought to make as a passion project since development on The Fifth Element. What could possibly go wrong?

Topics of discussion include: good movies made by European pedophiles, what if a Chinese guy with more screen time than Rihanna went to space, and Stu's Great Replacement Theory for stacked redheads in film adaptations.

(*Who was urged to suggest this movie by mutual friend Ronan. Fuck you too Ronan.)

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