What does it take to prioritize a marriage when you and your partner both have jobs and manage the kids? How can you keep the spark alive throughout decades of marriage? Do you and your partner want to lift one another up to progress and become more well-rounded people?

In this podcast episode, I am so excited to have Willie on the podcast again. Join us in the podcast as we discuss unlocking the secrets of marriage and how we thrived in marriage for 24 years.

Tips to overcome and resolve conflict

• One of Willie’s main tips is for you both to listen to understand instead of just listening to respond. Aim to get to the root cause of your partner’s feelings instead of trying to get the first word in.

If we could’ve turned back time, I would’ve learned to listen more and be more attentive to what she’s actually say and come across because usually what’s said isn’t actually what she’s looking for overall, so listening to understand versus listening to respond, I think that would’ve been more productive in the early parts of our marriage. (Willie Cisneros)

• Veronica’s tip is for you and your partner to stop personalizing everything.

You need to learn how to identify your insecurities so you can separate your partner’s words from who you know to be yourself.

• Who do you know your partner to be at their core? Before judging them entirely for their mistakes, remember their intentions, and remember who you know them to be.

Before you go crazy, psycho killer on him, what are his real intentions? That strategy right there has really helped me fall in love with you again it helped me put my guard down, and that would be the key strategy for me. (Veronica Cisneros)

How to prioritize a marriage between two jobs and kids

• Willie recommends that both partners stick to firm, hard “nos” when the marriage needs attention.

If you notice that you and your partner are drifting, politely but firmly say no to other friends, family, or commitments so that you and your partner can focus on rebuilding and strengthening your connection together.

• Veronica prioritizes the relationship by finding loopholes and opportunities where she and Willie can take advantage of the day to work together and spend time as a team.

Memorable milestones in marriage

For Willie, seeing Veronica open her private practice was a milestone for him in their marriage that has been meaningful for him.

It symbolized her dedication to the family, and then her chance to shine to do what she wanted for so long, and that he was proud of her for pursuing it.

I appreciated the fact that you showed all that patience for all those years, you didn’t complain, and you supported our family despite not having the ability to be able to do your thing and wanting to, and then finally when you did you were just, God, you skyrocketed. (Willie Cisneros)

For Veronica, her memorable milestones have been to spend proper, quality time with Willie and their family, and really get to enjoy the life that they have built.

How to keep the spark alive

Encourage both emotional affection and physical affection. You and your partner will both be more open and willing to give and receive love when you both feel seen and respected by one another.

Willie’s advice is to keep the spark alive by creating small moments of intimacy throughout the day, with little pinches, kisses, and embraces.

For Veronica, both as a therapist and a wife, she recommends couples therapy.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org