What a jar of Vegenaise taught me about intimacy, disappearance, and remembering my worth

If you’ve followed my previous podcast (Sexplicit), you’ll notice a shift — in tone, in depth, in direction. This isn’t a new beginning, but a deepening.

In this first season I’ll be reading some of my own writings — essays and reflections that, to my surprise, have resonated deeply with so many people. I first shared them as blog posts and was gobsmacked by the messages I received — stories, confessions, thank-yous — from people who felt seen in ways they hadn’t expected.

So I wanted to bring those pieces to life in audio form as well— for those of you who prefer to listen rather than read, and for those who want to feel the rhythm and breath behind the words.

In these essays, I write both as a sexologist and as a human. Sometimes I share my own experiences — with love, loss, sex, and intimacy. Other times, I draw from my clients’ stories and the insights that have shaped my work.

As one reader put it so perfectly — “They’re meant to be felt, not necessarily understood.”

If you’ve followed my previous podcast (Sexplicit), you’ll notice a shift — in tone, in depth, in direction. This isn’t a new beginning, but a deepening.

In this first season I’ll be reading some of my own writings — essays and reflections that, to my surprise, have resonated deeply with so many people. I first shared them as blog posts and was gobsmacked by the messages I received — stories, confessions, thank-yous — from people who felt seen in ways they hadn’t expected.

So I wanted to bring those pieces to life in audio form as well— for those of you who prefer to listen rather than read, and for those who want to feel the rhythm and breath behind the words.

In these essays, I write both as a sexologist and as a human. Sometimes I share my own experiences — with love, loss, sex, and intimacy. Other times, I draw from my clients’ stories and the insights that have shaped my work.

As one reader put it so perfectly — “They’re meant to be felt, not necessarily understood.”

What makes someone leave a corporate career to become a male escort? In this eye-opening conversation, Anisa sits down with George Goulburn, who shares his unexpected journey into the world of professional intimacy.

George talks about:
 The emotional and psychological depth of his work
 The profound impact he has on his clients’ lives
 The biggest misconceptions about male sex work
 Why intimacy—paid or not—is a fundamental human need

This episode challenges everything you think you know about sex work. Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or just eager to hear a fresh perspective, George’s story will make you rethink the way you view sex work.

Hit play and step into a world rarely discussed but deeply human.

Connect with George:
Website: www.georgegoulburn.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/george_goulburn/?hl=en

In this special bonus episode, we step away from expert interviews to sit down with everyday people. Silence and stigma around sexuality can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or even ashamed, but sharing stories reminds us that we’re not alone.

Today, I’m joined by Lynton, who candidly shares his personal story. Together, we explore:

• Polyamory: What it means to embrace ethical non-monogamy.
• Difficult Conversations: Navigating open and honest communication with partners, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• The Role of Vulnerability in Connection: How being vulnerable can deepen intimacy and foster stronger relationships.
• Managing Jealousy: Strategies for working through jealousy in any relationship.
• Living with an Acquired Injury and Disability: Lynton’s talks about his experience of intimacy, connection, and self-acceptance post-injury.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation that might just change how you view intimacy and connection.

Resources & Links

• Our website: www.relatesexology.com
• Lynton's Youtube channel: www.youtube.com/@BeingLynton

💬 Have a story to share or a topic you’d love us to explore? Reach out – we’d love to hear from you!

🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast – your support helps us continue provide free sexuality education to all. 

In this conversation, Anisa Varasteh and Stacey Micallef discuss the concept of sexual confidence in relation to gender identities and the challenges faced by gender diverse individuals. Stacey shares practical tips for enhancing sexual confidence and emphasises the freedom that comes with gender diversity. The discussion also touches on the connection between gender and sexuality, and how individuals can find inclusive therapists to support their journey.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction 

04:16 Challenges Faced by Gender Diverse Individuals

07:01 Impact of Body Acceptance on Confidence

11:26 The Importance of Labels in Gender Identity and Sexuality

18:38 The Connection Between Sexuality and Gender

21:56 The Benefits of Gender Diversity

23:52 Tips for Feeling More Confident Sexually

30:54 Creating a Safe and Affirming Environment with Therapists

Find Stacey here: everybodysexology.com.au

In this episode of Sexplicit, Anisa sits down with Clinical Sexologist Kate Dempsey to explore the complex journey of rebuilding sexual confidence after infidelity. This episode delves into the intense emotional landscape that can emerge after betrayal, examining the ways it affects one’s sense of erotic confidence and other areas of life. With practical tips grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Anisa and Kate discuss strategies to manage overwhelming feelings and begin the healing process.

Kate  is an Accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist, Certified IFS Clinical Consultant, and Clinical Sexuality Educator. She teaches in the Psychosexual Therapy Postgraduate Program at the University of Sydney’s Faculty of Medicine and Health and works as an embedded contractor in a psychiatric hospital, where she facilitates sessions on “Sexual Function and Mental Health” and “Sexual Function and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” for veterans and first responders. Kate also operates a private practice, Sexology North Queensland, where she works with adults in diverse relationship styles.

Topics Covered:

• Overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and its application to infidelity recovery
• The impact of infidelity on both individuals and partners, including its effects on self-esteem and sexual confidence
• Rebuilding trust and courageous communication within relationships
• Practical tools for managing intense emotions during recovery

Tune in for insights and actionable advice to help listeners regain confidence and reconnect with their authentic sexual selves, even after the challenges of betrayal.

In this episode of Sexplicit, join Anisa as she dives deep into the topic of sexual confidence for heterosexual men with Cam Fraser, a Certified Professional Sex Coach and Certified Sexologist. Together, they explore the barriers men face when it comes to sexual confidence and provide practical strategies to overcome them.

Topics Covered:

• Insecurities and anxieties men commonly experience in the bedroom
• The influence of social norms and masculine identity on sexual confidence
• How sexual education (or lack thereof) shapes men's sexual experiences
• Practical tips and resources to build lasting sexual confidence

About Our Guest: Cam Fraser is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, and former Tantric Yoga Teacher. His work blends scientifically validated sexual health information with sacred sexuality teachings. Cam helps men move beyond surface-level sex to experience full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free from anxiety and shame. You can learn more about his work at cam-fraser.com.

In this episode Anisa has a conversation with Ella Shannon, the National Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists, for a candid conversation about sexual confidence after trauma. They explore strategies to reclaiming sexual confidence following traumatic experiences, offering hope and guidance to those on the path to healing.

Key Topics Discussed:

• What is Sexual Confidence? A
• Is it Possible to Feel Confident Again? 
• Practical Tips for Reconnecting with Safety and Pleasure.
• The Role of Therapy
• How to Find the Right Therapist.

Whether you've experienced trauma yourself or are supporting someone who has, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for anyone looking to reclaim their sexual confidence.
For more information about Ella Shannon and her work, visit her website at ellashannon.com.

In this episode, we dive deep into the world of sexual confidence with Caitlin V.
Caitlin V is a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, and host of Good Sex on Max and Discovery+. Formerly a professional sexual health researcher, she dropped out of her PHD program to start a career coaching men to gain confidence, satisfaction, and transformation both inside and outside the bedroom. Caitlin’s mission is to create a sex and pleasure-positive world. 

Caitlin shares practical tips and strategies to enhance your sexual confidence, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to feel more empowered in their sexual journey.

Key Topics:

• Defining sexual confidence and why it’s important
• The challenges singles face in building sexual confidence
• Managing anxiety in dating and sexual situations
• Practical tips to boost your sexual confidence
• How to communicate your desires, needs, and boundaries effectively

Learn More About Caitlin V.:

• Website: caitlinvneal.com
• YouTube: youtube.com/caitlinv

In this  episode, Anisa is joined by Jacqueline Hellyer, one of Australia’s leading sexologists and the founder of the Lovelife Clinic. They dive deep into the nuances of sexual confidence within long-term relationships, exploring what it truly means to feel confident and connected with your partner over time.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Understanding Sexual Confidence
• Challenges to Sexual Confidence in Long-Term Relationships
• Impact of Communication on Confidence
• Challenging Societal Norms and Expectations
• Practical Tips for Improvement

Resources Mentioned:

• Lovelife Clinic: Explore more about Jacquline’s work and the services offered at the Lovelife Clinic: www.thelovelifeclinic.com
• Jacquline’s Retreats: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/lovelife-retreats