Words hurt. Emotional abuse can damage a person's sense of identity, hurt their self-worth, and make them doubt their reality. However, because there are no physical signs of emotional abuse, it can be difficult to recognize.

Sometimes abusive behavior can be masked as concern for your partner. "I don't think you should eat this meal, maybe get a salad instead" or "I don't think you should wear that outfit today, I don't trust the people you're going to see." It can be insidious and grow over time.

Dr. Danielle Graddick, PsyD. joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to share tips for detecting emotional abuse, the physical manifestations of emotional abuse, and how minimization is used to control people experiencing abuse.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(1:32) What Is Emotional Abuse?

(6:17) Effect of Emotional Abuse on Your Body

(8:31) Masking Abuse As Concern

(11:29) Is Emotional Abuse "Real" Abuse?

(16:22) What Does A Healthy Relationship Feel Like?

(18:46) Are People Always Aware They're Being Emotionally Abusive?

(23:36) Seeking Help for Emotional Abuse

(29:24) When A Loved One Is Being Emotionally Abused

(35:49) About JBWS & Resources

Resources:

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠

Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Abuse isn't always that easy to recognize. This concept is highlighted in Anna Kendrick's episode of Call Her Daddy where she explores how abuse is designed to make you question yourself.

Maddie Hahn, the manager of JBWS' Dating Abuse Prevention Program, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss elements of Anna's episode of Call Her Daddy including the dynamics of abusive relationships, why conversations about warning signs are important, and how abuse can go unnoticed.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(2:04) Abuse Doesn't Always Look The Same

(3:50) Why Can Abuse Be Difficult to Recognize?

(10:42) The Importance of Having A Therapist Who Understands Abuse

(16:02) The Belief That Strong Women Can't Experience Abuse

(18:00) How Abuse Makes You Doubt Reality

(23:03) About JBWS & Resources

Resources:

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠. ⁠⁠

Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Self-care is often portrayed as luxurious vacations, trips to the spa, or expensive meals out. However, these methods aren't always accessible to people experiencing abuse. Their partners may control their finances, their schedule, and their relationships. So, how can victims of abuse take care of themselves?

Maria Lagattuta, director of JBWS' Morris Family Justice Center, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss how self-care can feel overwhelming and like just another responsibility. She explores how we must redefine self-care, focus on progress not perfection, and find small ways to look after ourselves. Because self-care doesn't always look like long baths and workouts at the gym. Sometimes it can be an extra sip of water, standing in the sunshine for a moment, or practicing kindness toward ourselves.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(1:35) Why Self-Care Can Feel Exhausting

(3:50) Is Self-Care Selfish?

(6:29) Can Victims of Abuse Practice Self-Care?

(10:14) Overcoming Barriers to Self-Care

(11:53) Redefining Self-Care for People Experiencing Abuse

(16:11) Self-Care & Empowerment

(17:37) The Benefit of Self-Care

(25:26) Making Self-Care Manageable (Baby Steps)

(32:57) About JBWS & Resources

Resources:

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠

Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠ jbws.org

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Diddy and baby oil. Rhianna and Chris Brown. These are just some of the many costumes people wear for Halloween that minimize or glorify sexual assault and domestic violence. But what motivates a person to dress as a victim of abuse or a person who has caused harm in their relationship?

Psychologist and JBWS board member, Dr. Danielle Graddick joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to explore why people dress as victims of violence and the effect it has on people experiencing abuse.

Dr. Graddick touches upon a person's need to be seen, explores why these costumes typically depict violence against women, the anonymity associated with dressing up, and why people are reluctant to believe that their costume could actually cause harm to victims of abuse.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(2:12) Why Do People Dress In Offensive Costumes?

(5:16) Why Do People Dress Up As Victims of Domestic Violence?

(8:27) Can Costumes Be Harmful?

(12:27) The Role of Patriarchy

(15:52) Dark Humor and Gen Z

(20:47) What If You Have Worn An Offensive Costume?

(22:40) Diddy and Baby Oil

(30:06) About JBWS & Resources

Resources:

If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠ jbws.org

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

How does cultural identity impact a Hispanic victim’s journey to safety? Are there cultural messages about family, gender roles, and silence that can complicate leaving? How do language barriers make it difficult to access serivces? Members of the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs (MCOHA) join this episode of Unsilenced to answer these questions.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(1:34) How Culture Impacts Abuse

(5:15) Abuse Has Been Normalized

(7:08) There is a Stigma Associated with Abuse

(9:08) Family Messaging About Abuse

(14:57) Hispanic Women Are Taught to Neglect Their Needs

(19:29) Gender Roles

(22:01) The Effect of Machismo

(24:24) Hispanic Male Victims of Abuse

(25:37) Violence is Socially Acceptable

(30:27) Challenging World Views

(32:44) A Message to Victims

(33:19) About MCOHA, JBWS, and Services

About JBWS, MCOHA, Services, and Resources:

To learn more about the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs visit mcoha.org.

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services.

Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠ jbws.org

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Are jokes always harmless, especially if only one person is laughing? Fiorella Diaz, LSW, the director of housing and supportive services at JBWS, answers the question: "Is it a Joke? Or is it Abusive?" This episode discusses the issues with these pranks, the core tenants of non-harmful jokes, and how we can all do our part to help people impacted by domestic violence.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(1:34) When Pranking Goes Too Far

(3:45) Humiliation is a Form of Power and Control

(7:17) How These Pranks Hurt

(11:44) Good Humor is Consensual

(14:54) Mean Jokes Aren't Funny

(16:13) How Do You Respond to "It's Just A Joke"

(20:25) How to Prank Your Partner Without Being Harmful

(24:22) Final Thoughts

(26:33) About JBWS & Services

About JBWS, Services, and Resources:

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠

Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

If someone is being abused by their partner, wouldn't leaving the relationship be the easiest solution? This is a question that we hear frequently as a domestic violence agency. However, it's based on the assumption that it is easy to leave an abusive relationship and that leaving will automatically make the victim safer.

Robin Hughes, manager of JBWS' Crisis Response Team, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to talk about why it isn't that easy to "just leave" a relationship and how leaving is actually the most dangerous time in a victims life.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(1:30) Why Won't Victims Just Leave

(4:12) Shame and Self Blame

(6:04) They Love Their Partner

(8:08) Why Do Victims Go Back?

(13:51) Forcing Someone to Leave Won't Work

(21:55) Factors That Make Leaving Difficult

(25:43) A Victims' Life Has to Change

(28:14) Why Staying Isn't Always Best for the Kids

(35:41) Leaving is the Most Dangerous Time

(37:38) Final Thoughts

(41:32) About JBWS & Resources

About JBWS, Services, and Resources:

If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192.

If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options.

If you recognize any abusive or controlling behaviors in yourself, then JBWS can help: jbws.org/jcnv or 973-539-7801

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.

Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Why does talking about abuse make us so uncomfortable? Is it difficult for us to think that our loved ones might be harming another person? Or maybe we don't how to talk to someone experiencing abuse. Either way, it can be difficult to have conversations about abuse but that is also exactly why we must start talking about it.

In this first episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse, Diane Williams, the President and CEO of JBWS, explores why we don't talk about abuse, the shame that often accompanies experiencing abuse, and how we can start having these conversations. The only way we will be able to end abuse is by breaking this culture of silence. Domestic violence does not have to be a shameful secret.

Content:

(0:00) Introduction

(2:08) What is Domestic Violence?

(4:13) Who Experiences Abuse?

(5:41) JBWS' History

(8:33) How Does Domestic Violence Grow in Silence

(15:25) How Can I Help A Friend Experiencing Abuse

(18:06) Barriers to Seeking Assistance

(25:02) Closing Thoughts

(26:48) About JBWS & Services

About JBWS, Services, and Resources:

If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192.

If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options.

Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.

Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Launching on October 1, 2024, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is a podcast produced by JBWS that aims to end the culture of silence that surrounds domestic violence by increasing conversations about abuse.