(cw: discussion of gun violence. also sorry the audio is kinda subpar in this one!! i'll try to have that fixed by next recording)

The Red Pyramid, ch. 25 to 28

This week on Unwise Girls, we come in hot with an exciting announcement about someone else's podcast before getting into big brother boat privilege, the deep history of the Bass Pro Pyramid (we don't ever indulge in the horrible podcast crime of "reading wikipedia" so please allow us this one), how emo is something anyone can be eternally, anti-monarchist Carter, Sadie's complicated dadfeels, the common assumption in discussing children's literature of the white child reader, and an epic reading of the themes by Jane. Also, Bloodstained Blade! Hell yeah!

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 29 to 32!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 21 to 24

It's a real yikes one this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the famed magician and king of rock and roll Elvis Prestidigitationley, the problems with sketching out real-life locations by using stereotype and/or cultural landmarks, real gritty basketball strats, hardcore uncle possession theorycrafting, lore (real life), the Greekification of the Egyptian gods, and also whatever the fuck it is British people do with coke.

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 25 to 28!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 17 to 20

It's a lean, mean episode of Unwise Girls as we cover The Red Pyramid's first truly consistently good chapters! We talk all about funny Bast (try to) eat a bird, pyramid power, globetrotting adventures, the importance of English class curtain symbolism, Dude Bro and Hella Jeff, the gentrified House of Life, and the framing device we've loved to complain about finally paying off.

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 21 to 24!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 13 to 16

Be welcomed, thots, to a brand new episode! This week, after a brief consideration for Jane's mental health, the Unwise Girls talk about the conceits of children's urban fantasy fiction, the secret origins of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Disney's Horuscules, potential future romance arcs based on like two sentences of character interaction, and the best movies to watch in Spanish II when your teacher is too tired to get into conjugation.

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 17 to 20!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 9 to 12

It's just under the wire this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the insecure writing and growing pains of The Red Pyramid, the shonen anime-style battle system setup, coffin dance, Gaia Online roleplaying, what happens when you're tired of being nice and just want to go magic apeshit, order vs. chaos, reverse-JKR style accidental lesbianism, and a very familiar doujin genre. 

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 13 to 16!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 5 to 8

Between J*lius, his dead crocodile, the godly neighbors from hell, and generally having to deliver pages upon pages of exposition to these fucking kids, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day for Amos Kane. This week, the Unwise Girls once more have to circle back around to Rick Riordan's semi-nationalistic fascination with the idea of "Western Civilization" (hint: it includes egypt now i guess?), the villain just kind of being the same as the last big villain, cool libraries we would love to read books in or create aesthetic moodboards of - and also, the triumphant return of boat speed discussion!

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 9 to 12!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Red Pyramid, ch. 1 to 4

Summer camp? Greek gods? Fashy pisshorses? Shut up about all that nonsense and get on the boat, loser - it's time for our river tour of The Kane Chronicles to begin! This week, the Unwise Girls start on a whole new series, covering Rick Riordan's first Egyptian myth-based book: The Red Pyramid. We get into the struggles of having to introduce a whole new world to readers, British people being racist, exactly one Ankha meme joke before Jacqueline bans Jane from them forever, how Napoleon's epic fail impacts the relevant text, some seed-planting that both frustrates and intrigues us, and the exact job duties of an Egyptologist. Plus, Jane makes a theory so immature that it just might be right!

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 5 to 8!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Percy Jackson & the Olympians retrospective

The end of the year at Camp Half-Blood rolls around once more, and we're here to guide you through it every step of the way. In this episode of Unwise Girls, we give out superlatives - make sure to check your yearbook for who got the best ship, which fight ended up being declared the worst, and who ended up being nominated for Camper of the Year! Plus, get a sneak preview of a book we might not even cover when we call back to our very first episode with some listener questions and a quiz, listen to us hash out which book is best and what exactly we consider to be the main theme of the series, and learn about Hestia's eating habits I guess too! Thanks for making this an unforgettable summer, campers!

Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 1 to 4!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

Hell is real and we're come back to it on today's episode of Unwise Girls. Join Jane, Jacqueline, and special guest Chiara as we drown in the wake of the Sea of Monsters movie; still, we manage to cover some actual thoughts on the movie before we're pulled down to the briny depths! How the fuck do you actually pronounce Greek-inspired things? Why are Confederate soldiers so quirky? Who had the inspired choice to cast Nathan Fillion here? Where did they find the gall to even make this in the first place? Why are we putting ourselves through this? Don't you have any answers for me, or are you just gonna sit there reading this?? Answer me, damn you!!! I'm barely keeping it together over here! 

Come back next week for our Percy Jackson & the Olympians retrospective!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Guest starring Chiara (https://flockofdoves.tumblr.com/)

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Last Olympian, ch. 21 to 23

Hey, calm down, kid! Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, y'know? Just because this is the last book in the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series doesn't mean there won't be more Unwise Girls next week... and for now, you can still enjoy us talking about dads who get off easy, the sweet vibes at the end of summer camp, some American historical lessons, a brand new prophecy to predict on, how bad Neil Gaiman sucks, and more. 

Come back next week for 2013's Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters!

Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)

Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)  

Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn).  

Intro/outro credit: On Hold For You by Kevin MacLeod  

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6928-on-hold-for-you License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license