V'Ger Please!

The NX-01 does a little bit of light genocide as we review "Shockwave"! When a little oopsie doodle mass murder nearly ruins Archer's field trip, Space Zucc shows up to provide aimbots and GM notes. Is this episode haxx? Or just boring as hell?

Gather around the campfire as Peter tells us all about the Artemis convention, polite Canadian space pirates, and a whole bunch of other things more interesting than "Two Days and Two Nights", which we eventually review and is ...okay.

When Captain Hadley shows up, it's time for some prime overacting as we watch "Desert Crossing"! When Archer and Trip rescue Mr. Crabbs, they get a dinner invite that ends in balls, desert lacrosse, and a subplot about heat stroke that ruins everything. Would you like to know more?

A familiar face graces our screen as we review "Fallen Hero"! After Archer gets browbeat into doing a quick fetch quest for the Vulcans, the NX-01 winds up in the middle of the most unnecessary conspiracy of all time. But hey, any excuse to finally make the Warp 5 ship go Warp 5, right guys?

Tune in this week as we review "Vox Sola", where I cannot describe a single thing we say in this episode or this advertisement will never pass social media standards. Quick, go take a look at one screen shot of this thing. What do YOU think we spend an hour talking about?

The lingering malaise of Enterprise S1 really starts to set in as we review "Detained"! When a stunt-casted Al shows up for the big 'message episode' about internment camps being bad, what happens when the writers are so dim-witted they make the bad guys completely reasonable?

We get two special guest stars for the price of one as we review "Oasis"! When the NX-01 finds a spoopy ghost ship the most obvious plot happens. Even with the writers using 100% of the René Auberjonois, will that be enough?

At last Enterprise stops holding back and really shows us how bad it can be as we review the inexcusably bad "Acquisition". Your hosts don't hold anything back as even they are unable to find a way to save this wretched turkey.

Old instincts coming rushing back as we get the Chuck O'Tay episode no one wanted in the wrong show as we review "Rogue Planet"! When the NX-01 meets some Dick's Sporting Good aliens, Archer tries to score a date with a metaphorical Pokemon from a poem. Seriously, this is the plot.

We meet the Vulcan everyone warned you about at the Goth Club as we review "Fusion". We get the standard Enterprise tropes here - Archer gets more traumatic brain injury, T'Pol gets the short end of the stick, and Trip is a super bro to the first fat Vulcan.