The dictionary defines reproach as “shame or disgrace or that which brings rebuke or censure upon a person.
Transcript
thank you for tuning in to victorious in
recovery
it's been a very busy week
very stressful
and yet at the same time very fulfilling
had a pretty good weekend and was able
to do some
service work as well as just
hang out with a bunch of other people in
recovery
overall it was just a really good
memorial weekend
you know anytime i find myself in a new
stage of life with
a new group of people
or in a new place
i'm tempted to
act in ways that i wouldn't usually act
i'm tempted to be
somebody that i don't like to be
or to pretend to be somebody that i'm
not
to pretend to be better or just
different
and this experience with my new
job and the fact that i live
here on site
i've noticed myself falling into those
things every once in a while and i've
had to be very vigilant
about who i portray myself to be and
also to be who i want to be
if that makes any sense
yesterday evening
i was
talking to one of the people here and
i made a joke and that joke
led me down a road to where i
said something
that wasn't very nice about one of the
other people here
thankfully the person i was talking to
called me out on it and i was able to
realize what i had just done but
afterwards i found myself
with this immediate weight
of guilt and shame
which serves its purpose
you know i i'm a firm believer that god
has created those feelings
for a purpose
there's no
no incorrect feelings out there there's
no mistakes
you know there's a lot of things that
i've felt shame about in my life that i
shouldn't have but in this particular
case i believe that was the
exact correct feeling that should go
along with what i had done
but you know any time
that shame and regret comes along
that becomes a very lonely miserable
place to be
so i did my little 10th step last night
and
prayed and
vocalized what had happened to god
meditated on what i should do today to
rectify it
and i have
started that process
i have
told the person involved that we needed
to talk today that i needed to apologize
for something
and
so that's all
set into motion now
but it always amazes me how quickly
how quickly a joke or a conversation can
lead down that road
and if i'm not careful about being
purposeful about who i'm trying to be
i can find myself
way off the mark really quickly and i've
had to battle a lot of that
in these last couple of years
and
it's funny because as soon as i got done
praying and and laid down in bed i pick
up the book that i've been reading which
is drop the rock
and the first thing that i read is
let's look at a few areas
we may want to examine to clean up as we
prepare to become entirely ready
and that's entirely ready to have god
remove our defects of character
and it continues on from there it says
how is our language used
are we gaining maturity
do we swear a lot do we make crude
remarks about the opposite sex and use
bias or prejudiced language do we gossip
are we sarcastic do we tell dirty or
risky jokes
do we use violent language
we take a look at our language and see
how it fits
in with the spiritual approach to living
and to becoming entirely ready
and none of those specifically
encompasses what happened but
just it's always nice though to pray and
to sit down and to read something and
just to know okay i'm not the only one
that suffers from
the wrong things coming out of his mouth
then in the bible this morning i'm
reading a psalm of david and
it's psalm 69 starting in verse 12 it
says those who sit in the gate speak
against me
and i am the song of the drunkards
but as for me my prayer is to you o lord
in the acceptable time o god in the
multitude of your mercy
hear me in the truth of your salvation
deliver me out of the mire
and let me not sink
let me be delivered from those who hate
me
and out of the deep waters
let not the flood water overflow me
nor let the deep swallow me up
and let not the pit shut its mouth on me
and t
