Victorious In Recovery

By David ReffnerHealth & Fitness Mental Health Religion & Spirituality Christianity Education Self-Improvement

Victorious In Recovery episodes

June 15, 2022 One Two Three and Repeat
Episode #100
Thank you everyone for your support on this journey of mine. I hope you enjoy this episode!
17 min
June 12, 2022 Don’t Participate
There's always so much focus on what I should be doing... But theres something to be said about knowing what not to do as well.
15 min
June 11, 2022 I guess details are important...
details
noun
an individual or minute part; an item or particular.
attention to or treatment of a subject in individual or minute parts.
17 min
June 09, 2022 What’s your problem?
Definition of solution
an action or process of solving a problem
an answer to a problem
specifically : a set of values of the variables that satisfies an equation
15 min
June 05, 2022 Special Guest - Lauren Curtiss Boston MA
Today's guest is Lauren Curtiss from Boston MA.
1 hr 2 min
June 01, 2022 Not Quite Above Reproach
The dictionary defines reproach as “shame or disgrace or that which brings rebuke or censure upon a person.
Transcript
thank you for tuning in to victorious in
recovery
it's been a very busy week
very stressful
and yet at the same time very fulfilling
had a pretty good weekend and was able
to do some
service work as well as just
hang out with a bunch of other people in
recovery
overall it was just a really good
memorial weekend
you know anytime i find myself in a new
stage of life with
a new group of people
or in a new place
i'm tempted to
act in ways that i wouldn't usually act
i'm tempted to be
somebody that i don't like to be
or to pretend to be somebody that i'm
not
to pretend to be better or just
different
and this experience with my new
job and the fact that i live
here on site
i've noticed myself falling into those
things every once in a while and i've
had to be very vigilant
about who i portray myself to be and
also to be who i want to be
if that makes any sense
yesterday evening
i was
talking to one of the people here and
i made a joke and that joke
led me down a road to where i
said something
that wasn't very nice about one of the
other people here
thankfully the person i was talking to
called me out on it and i was able to
realize what i had just done but
afterwards i found myself
with this immediate weight
of guilt and shame
which serves its purpose
you know i i'm a firm believer that god
has created those feelings
for a purpose
there's no
no incorrect feelings out there there's
no mistakes
you know there's a lot of things that
i've felt shame about in my life that i
shouldn't have but in this particular
case i believe that was the
exact correct feeling that should go
along with what i had done
but you know any time
that shame and regret comes along
that becomes a very lonely miserable
place to be
so i did my little 10th step last night
and
prayed and
vocalized what had happened to god
meditated on what i should do today to
rectify it
and i have
started that process
i have
told the person involved that we needed
to talk today that i needed to apologize
for something
and
so that's all
set into motion now
but it always amazes me how quickly
how quickly a joke or a conversation can
lead down that road
and if i'm not careful about being
purposeful about who i'm trying to be
i can find myself
way off the mark really quickly and i've
had to battle a lot of that
in these last couple of years
and
it's funny because as soon as i got done
praying and and laid down in bed i pick
up the book that i've been reading which
is drop the rock
and the first thing that i read is
let's look at a few areas
we may want to examine to clean up as we
prepare to become entirely ready
and that's entirely ready to have god
remove our defects of character
and it continues on from there it says
how is our language used
are we gaining maturity
do we swear a lot do we make crude
remarks about the opposite sex and use
bias or prejudiced language do we gossip
are we sarcastic do we tell dirty or
risky jokes
do we use violent language
we take a look at our language and see
how it fits
in with the spiritual approach to living
and to becoming entirely ready
and none of those specifically
encompasses what happened but
just it's always nice though to pray and
to sit down and to read something and
just to know okay i'm not the only one
that suffers from
the wrong things coming out of his mouth
then in the bible this morning i'm
reading a psalm of david and
it's psalm 69 starting in verse 12 it
says those who sit in the gate speak
against me
and i am the song of the drunkards
but as for me my prayer is to you o lord
in the acceptable time o god in the
multitude of your mercy
hear me in the truth of your salvation
deliver me out of the mire
and let me not sink
let me be delivered from those who hate
me
and out of the deep waters
let not the flood water overflow me
nor let the deep swallow me up
and let not the pit shut its mouth on me
and t
16 min
May 29, 2022 The Chain Of Command
Definition of chain of command
: a series of executive positions in order of authority a military chain of command.
Transcript
[Music]
thank you for tuning in to victorious
and recovery
it's been a really good week
i've had the opportunity to work with
several people that just recently got
released from prison
and
it's been really rewarding
to say the least
it's memorial day weekend and
i just wanted to say thank you to
everybody that served in our military
and
has helped this country be what it is
today
i was
in the army and um
it was short-lived unfortunately my
addiction and my mental health
came into play uh fairly early when i
went into the army and
it just wasn't
it wasn't a a good place for me so
they offered me the opportunity to leave
and uh
i said okay
and took my leave and
just kind of never really looked back
from that
but while i was there i i can say i
learned
i learned quite a bit
i um
i learned some very valuable life
lessons while i was there one of which
was
how to
pay attention and do what i'm told
uh and thankfully that those were some
things that stuck
i
was fortunate enough to
learn about
the chain of command
and
how that works and why it exists
and that was
a very valuable lesson because
knowing where i stand in the world
knowing
that there are powers
above me is a very important
lesson and it has been for me
and for a long time i had forgotten that
i got so
self-involved
in my
addiction and
just in
life
that i had forgotten that there is
something bigger
and that's been a big part of my
recovery is just getting back to
knowing
my position
in this world
that uh that i have
authorities and
in
powers greater than myself
and i've actually been fortunate enough
to learn to be
grateful
that i'm not
the greater power i am not
the end-all be-all and that is such a
relief
when i can remember
that
i'm not the one ultimately
responsible for the well-being of
everybody around me i'm like oh
i can sit back and relax a little bit
and that is that chain of command
and that's kind of what i wanted to talk
about is
my relation
with god
with
other higher powers for that matter but
today i want to talk about
recognizing
god's will and god's power
in comparison to my will and my power
for the longest time i thought that
i needed to be able to
produce
that i needed to
somehow find the motivation and the
resolve
the stick-to-it-ness if you will
just in general i thought that i was
weak if i didn't have what it took
just
in general like if if i
couldn't do something i felt like i
wasn't good enough to do it
and that went on for a long time
and so that over time that really
seriously limits
what i'm willing
to try to do
because
anything if i if i go on that on that
equation on that practice
then
eventually i run out of things that i'm
willing to try to do
because anything it seems like that i
try to do on my own
[Music]
tends to fail eventually
so i found myself
not wanting to do certain jobs i find
myself not
wanting to
start new friendships
not wanting to work on cars anymore not
wanting to
pray
not wanting to do all these things
because at one point or another
i felt i had failed
and because of my failure
that either i'm not good enough or i'm
just not capable
and i just
got tired of getting hurt and hurting
myself i got tired of being disappointed
in life
so
kind of back on track with
recognizing that chain of command
recognizing the fact that i'm not
the one
in any one thing
is a relief because
i know
that anything i try to do
of my own power
of my own strength
is basically gonna fail i've proven that
over and over and over again so what's
what's the solution
what's the remedy
and
thankfully
using prayer as a tool i get to i get to
find a little bit of humility
recognizing
like my rock bottom as a starting point
because with my rock bottom i realized
that the power must not be mine
because i am incapable i was
at my rock bottom and i'm like if i want
to go anywhere in life if i want to do
anything in life i ne
16 min
May 25, 2022 Stepping Out In Faith
My favorite definition of faith is:
-A firm belief in something for which there is no proof.
Transcript
[Music]
thank you for tuning in to victorious in
recovery
today i had the opportunity to be a part
of a state conference
and
it was a really nice experience
i got to
hang out with a lot of great people
they
called our ministry up onto the stage
and
it was a very
moving
thing um
somebody shared their story that it
graduated the program at the place i
work
and it was just it was overall a really
good experience i got to see a lot of
other ministries too
that are going on out there
helping people in all kinds of different
ways
and so it got me thinking about service
and i don't really
think of myself as doing a lot of
service a lot of times
but
looking around and talking to people and
answering their questions i realized
that
that i'm doing quite a bit of service
and i didn't
really see it that way
um i don't really see it that way all
the time
because to me it just feels like i'm
working on me
and so i'm kind of
just realizing that there's
they're not mutually exclusive
the work i do for my own recovery
can also be
considered service work
and most of it actually is
and i've been talking a little bit
lately about
uh the fact that i'm i'm still reading
in second samuel and it's mostly the
story about david and
just all the different trials and
all his
mistakes and
all his victories and
just everything surrounding that is very
eye-opening
it's very eye-opening to
the grand
plan that god has
in the world around us it's eye-opening
on how much god is willing to do for a
person that is
actively seeking
to be in relationship with him
and not just that
part of what made david so unique in the
bible is that he
lived to serve god
you know he didn't fight goliath for the
fame or for
any kind of reward
he fought strictly for
the name of god
for god's honor for the honor of the
people of israel
he was doing service work
it wasn't for himself
even when david took
the throne
as king he wasn't i mean he wasn't born
into that he wasn't
crowned king because of anything he did
it was god appointing him as king that
was his ministry
and he got persecuted for it by the
previous king for years and years
and then after that
tons of people tried to dethrone him it
was just not
a great position to have
you know to be a king
back then was more trouble than it was
worth
you know there's so many
so many things like that now that it's
like why
why god
do i really have to do this right now
this is crazy
why is this so difficult
you know i find myself in service
positions like that sometimes where i'm
like god i wish i wouldn't have said yes
to this
but on on days like today that i get to
see
all this other work that other people
are doing
i kind of get to see in the looking
glass from the other side
and go oh okay
i guess maybe that's what people are
telling me
because i see these these ministries and
these people that are
passionate about helping other people
and i'm like wow
i wish i could do something like that
and then i remember wait you do
and it just amazes me that it's so hard
to see
from my end what is really happening
that the scope of what a simple
little service position can do
the effect that it has going outward is
amazing
but anytime i agree to do something
there's fear involved
especially for me am i qualified
probably not
am i capable
most likely not no
am i
educated enough not usually
do i have all the skills required to do
it successfully probably not no
and and so there's fear there's fear
that goes into taking a service position
there's fear
that goes into continuing to show up to
a service position
so
like i'm left how do you alleviate that
what do you do at that point how do you
move forward
and sometimes i don't know the answer
but i saw a prayer recently that
they helped me because
a big part of my fear in service or
and doing much of anything really
is that
i'm not qualified that i'm not capable
and that i can't ask
19 min
May 23, 2022 Kindness as a way of life
Kindness is one with love and service.

Transcript
[Music]
thank you guys for tuning in to
victorious and recovery
this week i got a little bit sick
and
just sitting around
doing nothing has
this effect of
making me feel useless
and then i get
all up in my head about
if people value me and
what are they gonna think because i'm
not doing
everything i could be doing right now
and and i i forget
like we do
that it's okay to not be perfect you
know that it's
it's just something that happens
you know i'm gonna have commitments fall
through i'm gonna have
days that i'm just not
doing well and
lately i've been talking a lot about
the learning side and
recognizing those times where
we don't feel like anything's going on
but there really is
and
that ties in with this a lot
because in the past
i have
looked at being sick or
being absent even for any other reason
as
an automatic
point deduction basically on my value
towards you know whatever maybe a job or
a group of people etc
you know i forget
i forget that my value is not based on
how well i do i mean there are certain
occasions where
when you perform better your value is
more but
when it comes to relationships
that's not necessarily true
being vulnerable being
accessible being truthful
such as hey i don't feel good today
i think i'm gonna have to pass
it's one of those things that doesn't
discount
my value but it actually ups it
and gives the other person an
opportunity to move in and take over
sometimes being absent or being
unable to fulfill a role allows somebody
else to step into that role temporarily
and be a blessing
there's really true value in that
not to mention that my value as a whole
is based on
who god made in the beginning
who god created me to be
and how well i try to use that
so sitting at home this week
kind of feeling a little bit useless i
noticed a few things
one a lot of people reached out checked
on me
a couple people came by
hung out with me for a little bit
brought me food
so
instead of the
normal thoughts that i would have
i got some reassurance of that value
that i have
and it was nice
and it served more of a purpose than
that
it allowed me to find a deficiency
and that's an area where i've been
lacking i've been lacking in the
ability or the motivation to
step in and help others and show
that they have value in my life
thankfully today i had two opportunities
to do that and i took them
and i feel better for it
and it doesn't take much
honestly the two opportunities that i
had one of them was over a text message
and it was just quick it was one little
sentence
and
i know it had an impact because it was
it was just simple it was from the heart
and
it was in a time where it was
appropriate and i just sent it
and i know that it helped i know that it
expressed that they had value and the
other one took me about an hour
to go and see somebody and
it has its value it has its value not
just for that person but
in the continuation of that cycle
somebody took the time
to visit me most likely because in the
past somebody had taken the time to
visit them
so it's almost the
pay it forward type of thing
and it's not that any of us are doing it
because we want that to happen
i mean there is a genuine part where we
just care for our friend and we want to
go visit them but i'm just thinking
further into it
at the impact that
my life has
that your life has that everybody's life
has the little decisions
and the impact they carry with them is
really
amazing
if we were able to dissect everything
with the eyes of god
and see how broad the impact is how
immense how many little branches come
off of that we would all be amazed and
we would all do these things more often
and it's only through meditation and
prayer and
constant seeking that i've been able to
see just a little glimpse of that
to understand the magnitude of that
that no small thing
goes unnoticed to the universe
every little last thing
if you need any proof start ignoring
some of them
that little speck on
12 min
May 19, 2022 The little things matter
The little things
Matters, issues, concerns, outcomes, etc., that are or seem to be of minor significance or
importance.

[Music]
thank you for tuning in to victorious in
recovery
well it's been a pretty good week so far
this week i've been
reminded a lot of
how important the small things really
are
because it's been one of those weeks
that i'm i'm still
kind of settling the schedule is kind of
leveled out
my
expectations have become
clear
at work there hasn't been
a lot of drama a lot of surprises it's
just been a week
and it's the first week like that that
i've had in a long time
i'm not one that's big for change
so anytime i have
things that are constantly changing
that means i'm
constantly in a state of
anxiety
so i tend to be
tired and
irritable
distant
so it becomes this constant battle
against myself it becomes a constant
battle against
the people around me
it becomes a constant battle in prayer
because i feel like i have to ask
for things i feel like i have to
constantly be
begging for help and so when i get a
week that is
just
a week
just a set of days doing the things that
i'm supposed to do and having the
interactions that i usually have
and
the things that i expect
to happen that week actually happen
it can seem a little boring on the
surface
after having struggled for so long to
have a normal week
so i land in that
place where we're at where we're just
constantly
unhappy with our surroundings
um if you're anything like me
all i wanted was a normal week three
weeks ago but this week now that i have
a normal week and everything
has just kind of lined up the way it was
supposed to
i'm like man what do i do now
it's kind of boring you know and i'll
catch myself watching a show going home
i really don't want to pick another show
but i don't really want to leave because
i'm comfortable and
maybe i'll just eat
you know and so that's just kind of
what's been happening this week
last week i had
talked a little bit about
the time of waiting
where you learn things and
how valuable
that time is and
these few days have been like that
you know i haven't had a lot of
exciting things happen i haven't had
a lot of interactions that were just
stellar memorable
but what i have had is time to get used
to my surroundings time to
to be at peace
time to meditate time to
just sit around and watch a show
and enjoy the life that i have right now
but it's times like these that i
get to really see
who i am and what is driving me
because i'm not so busy that
i'm constantly moving for a goal
so
i get to see the character defects in
their
fullness
just in this kind of silent
time that i have
you know i get to see that
my eating habits aren't what i would
like them to be i get to see that i
haven't been exercising as much as i
should
in the absence of
the busyness of life i get to see that
even when i have time i'm not reaching
out to people as much as i should
that i'm not allowing myself to feel the
feelings that i should be taking this
advantage of time to work through
so i'm left with the choice i can either
just kind of
watch netflix all day and
clock into work and
do my job and clock out and do it all
over again
or i can take the time to spend
a little bit of extra time doing the
things that i need for my own personal
care
and i guess that's what i wanted to talk
about today
there's times
where the best thing and the only thing
that i can do is make it
through the day
and
at the end of the day i'm just
ready for it to be over
but the days that i have the opportunity
i need to remind myself that
these are the times where i have that
little bit of extra emotional
stamina
to take care of the really important
things
for example i had been putting off
calling the va
scheduling these medical appointments
and stuff
that i need to do
and that was one of the
little things on my list this week that
i was able to tackle it's been on my
list for two months now not because i
never had a moment
to call
but because
when i'm busy when i'm s
14 min

About Victorious In Recovery

From the publisher's feed

How does one become Victorious in Recovery? That’s the journey we are on together as I reflect on my personal recovery from the disease of addiction. In each episode I pull together insight on topics…

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About Victorious In Recovery