The aliens have come to visit our planet and we really need to have the good holiday cheer out to appease them. There’s clearly no other way we’re winning this fight. They have the superior firepower and well-trained numbers behind them to literally decimate our entire planet as they make way to build their death theme park over the dehydrated oceans. The only thing we have is Holiday spirit and if we can’t get drunk with them and show them how humanity can be great and wonderful and bring joy to the stars then there will be no joy left! We need to turn them into Steven Spielberg Extra Terrestials stat! All that’s left if the inaugural song to welcome them into the pub. Let’s bring in the Paul McCartney! Maybe just leave Wings at home this time around, though.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to leave the Christmas Towels up far past the holiday time. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is going up to the Christmas Grave if you need anything.

This is our last episode for Season 8! We’ll be back in a couple of weeks in the new year for Season 9?! Have a great break and we will too!

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I see you over there, Frankin’ it up! Don’t you try to deny it! Your father was a franker, his father before him was a franker and by gods we’ve been frankin’ it up ever since we said no to the King of England (Who likely wasn’t franking anything, let’s be real.) If you’re not Franking it, then frankly we have a little bit of a problem. Where’s your Franking License? Lemme see if you’re allowed to forage for various hot sauce without a permit. Now pick up that hot dog. Put hot sauce on it. Frank’s Hot Sauce. Yowza.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s boiling a big pot of blood just to show Bing. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s making himself hot sauce stew courtesy of the local water department.

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If you were a kid in 2006, odds were you had enough free time to film a whole scene in the parking lot of a Best Buy. We know we sure did, but we didn’t make this auspicious film. Someone else got to it first, knowing the perfect spot to frame and flip off a Best Buy box store with the most thunderous of effects. Know doubt there is something performative about the gesture, but one can almost sense a real realness to the whole thing. Was their a real slight towards a pre-ordered Wii that was forgotten about? Did the person who is doing the flipping formerly work for the corporation? Why is he so far away from the store? Why is that one car so bad at parking? The world may never know, but we can at least observe. And observe we shall forever.

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John Hurst is your host this week and he’s seeing the realness through the irony, man. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is ushering in a new Era according to Wikipedia.

What better way to explain a situation than to use the largest Connect Four board known to man? Just add your pieces (Uranium and/or Water) and have a ball! Don’t worry about the radioactivity, it’s all part of the game! Just keeping on thinking about bacon, like the bacon council wants you to! Did Socrates eat bacon? Would he prefer bacon over sausage? Oh no, Pripyat is uninhabital now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has given up on The Republic (The Book.) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s (not) going to invent time travel and proceed to Step 2.

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Sirens would entrance sailors to crash their ships into rocks not for sustenance or anger, but because it’s really funny and honestly never gets own. Such is true of the timeless tradition of cars crashing into various things. Like the one we watch this week of cars crashing into swimming pools in various ways. The car still totalled, but at least you get refreshed at the end! Perhaps we can use this as a way to fill in some of those holes found in Oak Island while searching for the treasure. We must look to the stars (and the emails of hopefully listening producers) for the answer!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s throwing coins at islands for good luck! Aaron Littleton is your host this week and we all failed the “Talk about Oak Island” charisma check so you’re going to get caught with the show.

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SMILK.

IT IS CALLED SMILK.

IT’S LIKE MILK.

BUT WITH A SMILE?!?!?!

SMILK.

GOD HELP US ALL.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s assembling Aaron Littletons the world over. John Hurst is your co-host and he is concerned with what Smilk is fortified *with*.

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When Godzilla chooses a beverage, you can be sure he is going to choose the number 3 beverage in the United States (Which has lately been the number 2 beverage depending on the poll you believe. Godzilla might be ecstatic about this news!) He’s got places to be and he needs that caffeiene to help him get to Manitoba and back! He’s got a wheatification process he’s trying to get through the Science Committe back on Monster Island that may solve world hunger too as long as you’re not in the city he’s wrecking. That’s the price of his science! Though maybe we should not be calling it “Godzillification” due to those destructive tendencies.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is forcing himself to learn more about Manitoba after this episode (Sorry Manitoba, but it looks very nice!) Aaron Littleton is your temporary co-host and he’s busy not building a catapult.

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“Rattle Me Bones, bonedaddy!” is not just for bedroom talk anymore! Now you can play without the dirty talk in the Rattle Me Bones home game! It’s like Operation, except there’s a little skeleton guy wiggling! Everyone wins! Except maybe the skeleton since you’re taking their stuff and that’s not very nice. That skeleton has places to be. He’s got a movie to catch at home and he’s making sure the ghost haunting the apartment can’t choose what to watch AGAIN! That’s the pecking order, baby! Physicality in Death!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got big plans for his posthumous lifestyle. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s with you every step of the way as long as he gets to break a window.

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It’s time to become what we always wanted to be: Useless bags going to useless destinations! Finally, I can lay down and enjoy the ride, get handled by security and slightly irradiated just like I always wanted. Maybe I can be sorted to a better place in life! Sure, it just might be the gate to Cincinnati, but that’s a city of cities, right? That’s a pretty good start! Maybe they’ll let me eat a 8 AM pizza on this conveyor too. It came from the airport and I’m not bringing in, so I think I got a chance there.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s establishing the greeting order for the podcast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is going to invent the telephone in the future so let’s forget about the current and past telephones, okay?

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Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well! He made this slidedeck for me to sell Denmark! They don’t know that we’re doing it. Well, maybe they have an inkling of an idea. We’re called the Denmark Corporation after all. We kind of said on our yearly business review that we are going to “sell that damn country finally”. So, maybe they won’t be blindsided. But we’re dedicated to selling it and we have quite a pitch for you! Just ask our former’s president’s ghost! He’s not thinking of revenge at all! Or making his son do it!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he needs to pitch to Microsoft precisely on January of 2000 if this scheme is to work. John Hurst is your co-host and he wouldn’t be caught dead calling it a PowerPoint.

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