Video Store Nightmares

This week, join us as we discuss an obscure straight-to-video gem from 1989. Beyond Dream's Door started as a student film at Ohio State University but it's one of the more effective that we've seen, successfully evoking the stories - and sometimes moods - of our dreams. On this episode: forgotten dreams out for revenge, a janitor without hands, a dream seductress without clothes, a monster without skin, a creepy little brother, a trickster professor, mediocre acting, an evocative score, as well as discussions of our own dreams and nightmares.

Note: This episode starts with a disclaimer due to audio issues and problems recording. Despite the less-than-stellar sound, we still feel this episode can be listened to an enjoyed.

This week, join us as we try our best Hy Pyke accents and discuss a true Halloween classic - 1988's Hack`o`Lantern! This is a blast of 80s cheese, nonsense, and Halloween feels. If you've seen it, you know. If you haven't, watch it! Then check out this episode in the run-up to Halloween. On this episode: a lot of atrociously weird acting, a masked killer with an ever-shifting body type, incestuous rape, a DC Lacroix music video/dream sequence, a Satanic closet-shrine, a prominent graveyard setting, pentagram branding, an abundance of gratuitous nudity, soul transference and possibly the worst stand up comedy routine ever featured in a film.

This week, join us for one of our favorite movies to watch during the Halloween season, 1979's Phantasm! We watched this movie together as teenagers and spend this episode comparing notes after 20-odd years. The movie holds up as a 70s time capsule and a teenage nightmare; plus, it spawned a decades-long franchise that's still going strong with writer-director Don Coscarelli. If you haven't seen Phantasm, you're truly missing out! On this episode: a very tall man (made taller by platform shoes and too-small suits), a cool-kid-hero, an homage to (or plagiarism of) Dune, killer dwarves, front porch sing-a-longs, a heroic ice cream man, an angry red planet, flying driller-killer spheres and one of the greatest horror movie scores of all time!

This week, join us as we discuss Jackie Kong's first foray into horror and film - the Being. This is pro-environment, anti-toxic waste amateur hour featuring Kong's husband as possibly the most bored protagonist in movie history. Luckily, he's facing off against a very fast, very slimey, very phallic one-eyed monster that's ravaging the nation's spud capitol. On this week's episode: creepy film intros, a headless chicken, three Oscar-winners, harmless radiation, missing children, big-money potatoes, racist cops, drive-in pranks, slime puddles, Mr. Kong's stunt penis, an elongated climax and the titular Being!

This week, join us as we mix things up and Leland hosts for a change! We covered the 1968 pseudo-giallo - Death Laid an Egg (released in America as Plucked). On this episode: an amazing avant-contemporary musical score, the use of anthropomorphized chickens in advertising for...chicken, bloody prostitute killings, mistaking maternalism for incest, mutant chickens, graphic animal killings, melodramatic meltdowns, slaughterhouse bossa-nova tunes, and the benefits of English dubbing in Italian film.

This week, join us as we discuss our bad motel experiences and the film that surpasses them: Mountaintop Motel Massacre. This atypical slasher features a cast of authentic, mostly unlikeable, visitors to Evelyn's roadside cabins. Please do not disturb Evelyn. She already is! On this week's episode: a guinea pig murder, pseudo-occultism, motel horror stories, a drunk reverend, two future country music stars, a (suspect) Columbia Records owner, a conveniently-equipped carpenter, frugal newlyweds, tiny furniture, a killer "rattle" snake, rats, roaches and a system of underground tunnels perfectly sized for a maniacal geriatric mother.

This week, join us as we discuss the obscure 1976 social-nightmare-sex-melodrama - Whose Child Am I? If you ever wanted to see an after school special without the characteristic moral messaging but with softcore sex and incest, look no further! (Or, look forever, as this one is hard to find.) On this episode: the horror of barren marriages, invitro versus "natural" insemination, vaginal temperature checking, 50 cent wine, the radical feminist agenda, the right of motherhood, gendered roles in gay relationships, African sperm, father-daughter incest, courtroom drama, and...a happy ending for all!

This week, join us as we discuss German underground film-maker Olaf Ittenbach's masterpiece: the Burning Moon. This shot-on-video classic features two stories spun by a nihilistic, heroin-addict teenager. In one, a girl's family is threatened by an escaped asylum patient. The other features a descent into hell unlike any other we've seen! On this episode: possibly the worst-ever job interview performance, the perils of blind dating, a road rage decapitation, butter fingers, forced eyeball eating, blood sacrifices, Satanism, the humor and horror of excess, drill to the teeth, corkscrew to the guts, machete to the face, shotgun to the chest, fire to the eyes, and - of course - a burning moon!

This week, join us as we discuss one of cult Spanish film-maker Jose Ramon Larraz's early works: 1971's Deviation. This follows the now-familiar story of a bickering couple who breaks down on a lonely road and takes shelter in a nearby mansion. If you're familiar with Spanish horror, you probably have some idea of where it goes from there. On this episode: cultural perceptions of romantic age gaps, another creepy taxidermist, another borderline incestuous sibling set, drug-fueled orgy "sessions", another spin on the highway diversion trope, a lascivious pharmacist, bewildering time gaps, a mumbling cat lady, mysterious occult practices and a wonderful psychedelic score by Stelvio Cipriani.

This week, join us as we discuss the beloved straight-to-video low-budgeter from 1987: The Video Dead. Whether you remember this from the video store, late night cable, or an over-priced eBay auction, odds are you remember it fondly. If you haven't seen it, watch it now! Then, check out this episode which features: the debut of that greasy strangler - Michael St. Michaels, a haunted TV, aerobics majors, a drowned David Bowie lookalike, a pissed off bride, zombies with senses of humor, a diminutive chainsaw, Texas stereotypes, teenage seduction, a virtual garbage man and lots and lots of mirrors. Plus, you get a bonus conversation about 80s versus post-Scream horror.