Violet Lim, Co-Founder & CEO of Lunch Actually Paktor Group, and Jeremy Au explore how dating, expectations, and technology have evolved across Southeast Asia over the past two decades. Violet traces her path from studying law in the UK to banking in Singapore, before leaving a stable career at 24 to start Lunch Actually, now one of Asia’s longest-running matchmaking groups. They discuss the early stigma around dating services, why lunch dating worked as a low-pressure solution for busy professionals, and the realities of expanding across markets like Malaysia, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. Their conversation digs into why some people find partners quickly while others repeat the same patterns, how coaching closes gaps in mindset and behavior, and why surface-level filters often block long-term compatibility. They also examine how dating apps reshaped expectations, how Gen Z, millennials, and Gen X approach dating differently, and how AI companionship is beginning to challenge traditional ideas of intimacy, loneliness, and commitment.

01:45 How she met her husband: Violet recounts meeting her university sweetheart through student society events, ICQ conversations, and a first lunch date that later inspired her business model. 

03:35 Identifying the dating gap: While rotating through Citibank, Violet notices many eligible colleagues are single and constantly busy, realizing lunch is often the only time people can realistically meet someone new. 

06:23 Quitting at 24 despite stigma: Violet explains why she chose not to practice family law, moved into HR and banking, and faced deep cultural resistance to matchmaking before deciding to go all in. 

15:43 Overcoming early barriers: Advertisers refuse to run dating ads, landlords reject office rentals, clients hide to avoid being seen, and a bold half-empty newspaper ad becomes the breakthrough moment. 

18:39 Scaling across Asia: Singapore and Malaysia grow naturally, Hong Kong requires language and cultural adaptation, and Taiwan fails when the team realizes the concept of dating does not yet exist in the market. 

31:21 Coaching drives successful matches: Violet explains why some clients succeed quickly while others stall, leading to mindset coaching, image support, and WhatsApp critique to fix blind spots. 

42:16 AI reshapes emotional norms: Violet describes how abundance, analysis paralysis, fear of better options, and AI companionship are changing how people define connection and commitment.

Watch, listen or read the full insight at https://www.bravesea.com/blog/violet-lim-modern-matchmaking

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Spotify

English: https://open.spotify.com/show/4TnqkaWpTT181lMA8xNu0T

Bahasa Indonesia: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Vs8t6qPo0eFb4o6zOmiVZ

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YouTube 

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Apple Podcast 

English: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/brave-southeast-asia-tech-singapore-indonesia-vietnam/id1506890464

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