Virtual Kitchen Table

It was really an honour to speak with Linsey Briggs of @unschoolingstanley about a topic she shares so generously about. Her insights were both beautiful and practical. It’s always amazing to see the different angles and experiences each person has and so this was another full conversation.

In listening back through our discussion, I was reminded of how closely it fit with what Hayley has always written so much about — compassion for self, our children and others — on her Taking a Kinder Path blog. If you missed Episode 50, which honoured Hayley and discussed some of her work, please go back and listen to the previous episode.

And we hope you’ll join us here for this episode’s conversation with Linsey.

Resources:

@unschoolingstanley

Virtual Kitchen Table Community

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 50: My Journey to Taking a Kinder Path

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 21: Emotional Labour

Oof. This is hard. 

This episode is one in which we give the sad news that our wonderful Hayley has passed on. 

We also attempt to honour her as best we can by discussing her post, My Journey to Taking a Kinder Path. We’re not sure we’ve ever known someone whose blog name is so perfectly reflective of who they are. 

Hayley has endured cancer and cancer treatment for the past year and a half and did so bravely and optimistically. Our hearts are full of love for her family and our thoughts include them often these days. 

The sadness we feel, interspersed with the joy we know from having known Hayley, speaks volumes about the value and authenticity of online friendship. 

We are immensely grateful that Sue Elvis from Stories of an Unschooling Family joined us for this conversation. It was through Sue that we had the opportunity to know Hayley, and out of a hope for more conversation with Hayley from “across the pond” about  the values we share, that the Virtual Kitchen Table idea was inspired and born. 

Today we discuss Hayley’s own road  to the idea of Taking a Kinder Path: For Ourselves, Our Children and the World and relate it to each of our own. There are so many similarities across three different countries and four different families. We’d love you to have a listen. 

Sue closes our conversation with these thoughts:

“It’s really been an honour to talk about Hayley’s work and so I think we all feel such deep grief for the loss of a friend. I also feel that mingled with that is a sense of joy from her work.  She brought joy and her work will continue bringing joy to people lives, and I think that our conversation today has been mingled up with joy and grief. She can’t help but bring that joy to our lives … 

… Thank you Hayley for always turning up and writing the blog post and leaving that fabulous legacy. 

 We need to keep passing on that message that Hayley was so good at sharing … to be kind, don’t divide,  be respectful and love.”

Thank you, Hayley, for your beautiful writing and wisdom that we will continue to share and discuss. And thank you for your friendship. We are grateful. 

 Resources:

My Journey to a Kinder Path 

Episode 5, Part 1: Kindness and Unconditional Love – What Do They Have to Do With Unschooling? 

Episode 5, Part 2: Kindness and Unconditional Love – What Do They Have to Do With Unschooling? 

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

Dr. Sears – Attachment Parenting

Raising Your Spirited Child – Mary Sheedy Kurcinka 

Resources:

7 Reasons to Talk to Yourself Out Loud | Psychology Today Canada 

On Chores, Learning Respect and Such … Is There a Gentler Way? – Ever Learning

Homeschooling High School and Socialization: Not all Teen Community has to be Homeschool Community  – Ever Learning 

Basil and Honey Newsletter, The weaving together of our stories – by Anna Hewitt 

Based on a core section of Hayley’s blog post, Taking a Kinder Path to the Festivities: For You, Your Children and the Planet, we discuss kind and collaborative approaches we can take to the holiday season 

With two holiday season discussions behind us, we weren’t sure how much there was left to talk about. It turns out that was no problem! 

We had some in-depth conversation about planning WITH our kids rather than just for them, Santa Claus (or not – and all kinds of things in between), gift-giving and the differences between the receiver choosing and the giver choosing, what keeping things “simple” means and how that isn’t always about material things, giving grace and openness to those we’re spending time with, dealing with different convictions within our family and how to be kind to ourselves. 

There are lots of our own stories in this one:

Our own childhood background with Santa, what gift-giving looked like in our families of origin versus with our own families, how to avoid resentment and overload, whether we need to take on making the traditional meal simply because we are mothers and many more. 

This is a content-packed episode.

Come join us!

Resources:

Taking a Kinder Path to the Festivities for You, Your Children and the Planet

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 17: Being Intentional about the Holidays – Ideas for Thoughtful Families

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 32: Being Intentional About the Holidays – Finding a Fit for Our Families

Christmas Customs: Weaving Together Faith and Festivity and Whether to “Do Santa”

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 37: Nurturing our Well-Being Through Creative Practices 

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 41: Creative Kids, Creative Parents

Dealing with Conflict at Christmas: Taking a Kinder Path

Living Joyfully Network 

Anne from Eclectic Kids, Bird Bound and @obytheby and April Scully from Modern Homeschoolers join for a conversation about the many faces of whole life learning. The conversation is as vibrant, messy, wonderful and meaningful as whole life learning itself is. We talk not only about the “academic” side of learning but also about including children in real life experiences  — even hard or uncomfortable ones sometimes —  and the self-awareness, care for others and resilience they develop bit by bit.

How child development and family life can be actual interests and passions of ours, so our self-care needs won’t all be the same 

Enjoying watching our kids enjoying things 

Resources:

Home Ed Labels and Jargon: Sorting Them Through – Virtual Kitchen Table Podcast 

Unschooling: What’s in a Name? – Ever Learning

Modern Homeschoolers

Conflict to Clarity Workshop

Bird Bound 

Extraschooling/Eclectic Kids

We Discuss:

Kindergarten in the past in comparison to now (each sharing memories of our own start of school)

Sharing stories of our child’s start to the school years 

The awareness of making a mistake being unacceptable and when/how that begins

The longing to belong and not be rejected as a subconscious survival mechanism 

The normalization of separation of young children from their families 

The discomfort of separation from a parent being labelled “ separation anxiety” 

How reluctance to go to nursery school or kindergarten can be about more than separation anxiety, but also just the particular environment not being a right

That, even though we have gained so much information about child development in the last few decades, we have moved farther away from having kindergarten set up in a way that actually fits that development 

What might be behind the resistance to making a change for our children and opting out of the school system – so many families are struggling but the it’s hard to make the change 

That the comment “readiness for school”  is often more about a child being able to handle it then being an environment where they would optimally thrive

How uncomfortable it is to make a choice that’s different from the masses

How just knowing one other homeschool family can make the difference and offer some sort of framework for living outside of the system

How school is not just the specific hours the children are there but all the pieces around it like special events, friends, etc

Kids who appear to enjoy school or go along with it, but aren’t necessarily thriving in the way they might with a more individualized environment

Really well thought out baby, toddler, and preschool programming, and resources, and the wish that they extended into the school years

A mix of public and private offerings 

Inclusive and exclusive homeschool activities – the trickiness of finding belonging yet also a group that is sometimes small or limited enough to work for our kids 

Flexible, community-friendly schools 

Flexible, community-based learning 

The capacity and energy needed to build and maintain community 

The possibility of parents whose kids are older offering their time, resources and presence to younger families 

Whether kindergarten is necessary 

What other community-based ways there might be to curate 

That early learning and development are much more nuanced than the concrete concepts and skills that are most commonly talked about

Early social-emotional intelligence and critical thinking and the everyday, natural interactions that provide a model 

The importance of kids feeling safe in order to learn and develop to their full potential 

Resources:

High School Diplomas, College Degrees, and Future Careers: Is There More Than One Way?  Erin from Ever Learning and Missy Willis from Let ‘em Go Barefoot

Practical Ideas for Building and Contributing to Community, Virtual Kitchen Table, Episode 29

Homeschooling Community: Finding, Sustaining and How it Evolves, Episode 15

Choice in Education: Living and Learning in Community, Episode 3

Are Unschoolers Bringing Back Vintage Kindergarten? – Missy Willis from Let’em Go Barefoot

I’m just so glad he didn’t sit on the line. – Kara S. Anderson

We say “yes” there is!

Missy Willis from Let ‘em Go Barefoot and I connected this summer to have a conversation based on one of Missy’s Substack essays, Make the High School Diploma mean something again.

In this conversation, we dive into thoughts about the high school, diploma itself, and changes over the years, discuss post- secondary education such as colleges, universities and the trades, and make our way to discussing future career and lifestyle possibilities. We talk about the way that choices can be made within the particular goals, visions and aptitude of an individual.

In short, we question the existing narratives around the assumed paths and imagine what some of the other options, which are just as valid and sometimes more rewarding (and affordable) might be. 

Diplomas, degrees and assumed job paths for some? Absolutely!  But for all? We say “no” and invite you to listen to the deeper thoughts we have in our discussion! 

*This recording isn’t a regular part of either the Virtual Kitchen Podcast or  Let ‘em Go Barefoot podcast, but it will be posted among the Virtual Kitchen Table episodes so that it can easily be accessed through your preferred podcast apps. 

We talk about beginning the “school year,” either as a new homeschool family or a continuing family from the perspective of both connection and practical ideas. It can be an exciting time of year, but it can also be daunting! Even a new age of stage our child has reached can make this time of year full of feelings and concerns. We base the bulk of the conversation on Hayley’s blog post, New to Home Education: Your First Week and my Instagram post, If you’re  beginning homeschooling or returning to homeschooling and feeling uneasy in the midst of Back to School season, here are some ideas as you get into the groove. We talk about ways of easing in and just putting “one foot in front of the other.”  We hope you’ll join us and have a listen!

Resources:

New to Home Education: Your First Week, Taking a Kinder Path 

Fear of Missing Out, Episode 26 , Virtual Kitchen Table 

Lists or Not – How Do We and Those We Love Keep Organized?, Episode 16, Virtual Kitchen Table 

Stories of an Unschooling Family, Sue Elvis 

Fablehaven Series by Brandon Mull

The Seven Kinds of Rest You Actually Need, Psychology Today, Claudia Skowrow

Nature Journalling, Time Outdoors and Taking Pressure off Ourselves and our Children, Episode 44, Virtual Kitchen Table 

Spark.to.flame.homelearning

We dive into a deep exploration of different perspectives about nature study and outdoor time and where those things are both similar and different. We discuss what this looks like at different ages, including the teenage years, and also bring the temperature down a bit as far as parental pressure to “get kids outside” and/or doing formal nature study. We’d love you to join us for a listen!

Resources:

Home Ed Resources - Nature Study, Taking a Kinder Path

Homeschooling Philosophies, and Supporting Interests: Nature Study the Natural Way, Ever Learning

The Rich Experience of Unschooling Science, Episode #30, Virtual Kitchen Table Podcast

Unschooling Math: What Does Learning Math/s Naturally Look Like- Part One, Episode #36, Virtual Kitchen Table Podcast

Unschooling Math: What Does Math/Maths Naturally Look Like - Part Two, Episode #38, Virtual Kitchen Table Podcast

What is Strewng? Peeling Back the Layers of Intention, Connection and Practice, Episode #27, Virtual Kitchen Table Podcast

Confessions of an Early 2000s Homeschool Mum, Ever Learning

Eclectic Kids

Does homeschooling have to cost a lot of money? 

We tap into this topic with Anne from @obytheby and Eclectic Kids and come to the conclusion that living richly and abundantly is indeed possible without expensive classes, outings and materials. We agree that sometimes we might choose those things but that as we slow down, observe and integrate other things into our days, they don’t seem as necessary or even desired. *This isn’t a conversation that suggests that everyone wants to or can homeschool, either financially or otherwise. It’s an opportunity for us to sift through how home education can be simplified and enjoyed at a much lower cost than people might imagine and that while that still might not make it possible for ALL people, it might make it possible for MORE people. Something that comes up throughout the conversation is the role that gradual deschooling plays in becoming more comfortable with living simply. 

We’d love you to tune in and hear our thoughts. If you have links to additional free, low-cost or Pay What You Can resources, please send them our way via Comments or the Ever Learning email and we’ll get a running list going. 

Resources:

@obytheby

Eclectic Kids

Eclectic Kids Explore

Birdbound

Abundant Homeschooling Doesn’t Need to Cost a Lot of Money – Ever Learning

How Much Novelty Do Our Kids Need? – Episode #11: Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 

Fear of Missing Out – Episode #26: Virtual Kitchen Table Episode 

Easy Peasy Homeschool

All in One Homeschool High School

The Good and the Beautiful 

Khan Academy

Virtual Kitchen Table Community