Virtual Kitchen Table

We return this season to the topic of Being Intentional about the Holidays and thinking about what will best fit our own individual crew, including ourselves. Keeping in mind our own rhythms and preferences alongside those of our family members, we remind ourselves that we have choice during this busy season and come up with some creative ideas for everyone to enjoy.

We Discuss:

Being mindful of our capacity and limits

Observing the menstrual cycle and the role it plays in higher and lower energy, etc, communicating about how we’re feeling

The importance of rest

Building in extra time on either side of Christmas to allow time for the range of things we’d like to do

Decorating whenever feels like the right time for us

Joy lists as a way of creating awareness and a menu of sorts of what each family member would like to do

Fun Family Christmas challenges as a way of keeping connected and giving shape to time together

Remembering we have choice even when sometimes it feels as if everything is necessary

Taking time to ask each family member what their hopes are for the season

Solidly including kids’ wishes in the plans

The value placed on “being ready for Christmas,” and its meaning of having presents ready and wrapped

Different strategies and pacing for gift shopping

Considering feelings of disappointment or letdown after the excitement

Setting our children up for success at various gatherings, parties and events

Letting kids know what other people at a gathering might be interested in and vice versa to facilitate points of connection

The change in dynamics as kids get older and adjusting plans and conversation accordingly

Social strategies – people’s thoughts are their own and it’s not our responsibility to change minds about homeschooling, particular parenting practices, etc

That difficulties can be opportunities

Creating an atmosphere/ambience (candles, decorations, music, swapping out regular things for a festive version while we’re getting something anyway) that “holds” even when energy and ideas are lower – kids will be fine if we don’t do “all the things”

Noticing what’s meaningful or nostalgic to our kids themselves- is there a small toy or decoration they tend to look for, an activity they ask about?

Consciously working on flexibility around traditions and understanding that changes can be hard for tradition-oriented kids and family members, including ourselves

Being financially intentional and also giving ourselves grace and flexibility

Proactive and practical ideas for calming and settling

Resources:

Boundaries 101: Raising Confident Learners with Liana Francisco, 90 Minute School Day Episode 30

Taking a Kinder Path to the Festivities for You, Your children and the Planet – Taking a Kinder Path

Festive Joy Lists – Taking a Kinder Path

Home Ed Resources: Festive Fun for all the Family- Taking a Kinder Path

20 Reassuring Resources for Respectful Parenting at Christmas (and the whole year round) – Taking a Kinder Path

Dealing with Conflict at Christmas – Taking a Kinder Path

Being Intentional about the Holidays – Ideas for Thoughtful Families, Episode 17

We returned to finish our conversation about Hayley’s blog post of the same name as this episode. We recommend listening to Part One first as it will give context to the conversation, but of course if jumping in here suits you, there is still lots to be gained.

Thank you to Sue Elvis from Stories of an Unschooling Family for joining us again and bringing her thoughts and experience!

Resources:

Unschooling, A Voyage of Discovery

Stories of an Unschooling Family

Taking a Kinder Path

Curious Unschoolers

Radical Unschool Love

The Unschool Challenge

Episode 6: The State of Flow in Learning

Exploring Unschooling podcast, Episode #96, Ordinary Unschooling

Resources:

Unschooling, A Voyage of Discovery, Taking a Kinder Path

Stories of an Unschooling Family

On Chores, Learning Respect and Such … Is there a Gentler Way, Ever Learning

Curious Unschoolers, Sue Elvis

Radical Unschoolers, Sue Elvis

The Unschool Challenge, Sue Elvis

Have you ever thought about what it looks like to learn science in an organic way? To really celebrate it and live a life where you and your kids are interacting with it through passion and practicality? To see it linked to or naturally occurring in so many other things in your days? We chat with April from @modern.homeschoolers and Anne from @obytheby in the latest episode, The Rich Experience of Unschooling Science. We talk about curiosity, joy, fun, depth of learning, our role as parents, stewardship, gaps (or not) and more. We hope you’ll have a listen!

Resources:

@obytheby

extraschooling.com

@modern.homeschoolers

@heroineofyourstory

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode #28: Spot the Learning

Merlin app

Seek app

Planet Fungi Documentary

Magic School Bus program

Magic School Bus books

Wow in the World podcast

Dinosaur Train program

Science Max program

But Why podcast

The Art of Noticing

Explorations in the Ant World

Letters to a Young Scientist

Dude Perfect YouTube channel

Crazy Russian Hacker YouTube channel

Mythbusters

Bird cast (migration) app

One of the things that’s been important to each of us at the Virtual Kitchen Table is community, both for the sake of all and also as a way to better support educational options for families. In one of our earliest episodes (linked in Resources/Show Notes) we talked about the benefit of rich and varied community as places to live and learn. Several episodes later, we discussed homeschool communities (also linked). In today’s episode, Kendel from @spark.to.flame.homelearning joins us again as we find some practical ideas for building and contributing to community with the local spaces and people around us as well as specific thoughts in relation to home education. We touch on so much in this conversation and yet it feels there’s still more to think about. We’d love you to have a listen!

Resources:

@spark.to.flame.homelearning

Episode #3 – Choice in Education: Living and Learning in Community, Virtual Kitchen Table

Episode #15: Homeschool Community – Finding, Sustaining and How it Evolves

Who are the People in your Neighbourhood? Ever Learning

Happiness is Here – Is Unschooling Too Focused on the Individual?

Happiness is Here – Nature Journalling: Adopt a Creek for a Year

Novitas Magazine – Grassroots Community Support During the Current Housing Crisis

Novitas Magazine – Project Knotwork: Merging community and education through project-based self-directed learning

Five Ways That Home Education Can Be Healthy For Communities

Have you ever wondered whether your child is learning enough? Or maybe you suspect there’s more than meets the eye to what they’re taking in through outdoor play, online gaming, the stories they tell, the things they are making or any other number of things? We were so thrilled to have April Scully from @modern.homeschoolers and @heroineofyourstory and Kelly Edwards from the @90minuteschoolday join us to peel back the layers beyond what we might see at first glance and really notice and respect the depth of what our children are pursuing. This is another long episode as we really dig into the specifics of learning as well as our role, process and practical tips as parents. We hope you’ll tune in!

We Discuss:

The mix of skills integrated into any given activity when we look beyond the first glance

Kids picking up the skills they need based on the meaning in their play and the relationships that they have

That “pulling out” the learning helps us with feelings of self-doubt about how much is happening in our days

How profoundly learning is connected to relationship

Being mindful of not taking over interesting learning opportunities and seeing them all as “teachable moments”

That there is purpose behind all the exploration and potential mess!

Allowing time and space to pursue mastery if wished, reach the end, and really satiate that interest – protecting the time and space to pursue things in depth

“Soft skills” development happening right alongside concrete ones

Our pauses in reaction as being crucial to allowing for our kids’ thoughts and excitement about something to rise up

Being open-minded about the rules of the house – working through what we want the culture of our house to be as far as allowing flexibility for physical play or finding a designated space

That everybody has the right to change their mind – what will work for all of us, parents included?

Valuing non-academic learning at least as much as academic – there’s very little that kids can’t learn quite quickly once they’re a bit older, experienced and mature

Self-directed competence leading to confidence

How these deep explorations our children do can form core memories in the longterm

The perseverance involved in learning something for just for its own sake

The value of a child learning a goal that isn’t important to anyone else but them – entirely intrinsic

How some kids like to learn what they share in a very encouraging way with others and a piece of the learning is in the retelling

That our children’s natural learning style teaches us a lot about our own preferred way of taking in information and also the ways that aren’t natural to us

How our children sharing their stories with us is a form of writing – an opportunity for them to process, self-edit and more

The value of mixed ages and learning in connection with other people

The abundance of skills developed through gaming – reading, numbers, online etiquette, risk-taking – and how easy they are for us to miss

A story of learning to read and the parental processing that went along with it

Strong interests as being portals to learning so many things

That our children are not learning for the purpose of performing or “checking boxes” so it’s helpful to be aware of that in how we process our thoughts and respond

How learning in flow is a whole different quality of learning

Practical ideas for creating a culture of deep, natural learning, including ones for parents quite new to a more self-directed style of home education

Resources:

90 Minute School Day

Modern Homeschoolers

Heroine of your Story

Importance of early years in attachment- Modern Homeschooling

The Soft Skills Disconnect by Nation Soft Skills Association

Honey, I’m Homeschooling the Kids podcast

Virtual Kitchen Table Episode #6: The State of Flow in Learning

Practical Ideas for Capturing Natural Learning if You Need to Record Keep: Stories of an Unschooling Family

Have you heard of strewing? Is it something you actively do? We really enjoyed having Kendel from @spark.to.flame.homelearning join us for a conversation about the more nuanced aspects of strewing. There was a lot more to discuss than we first imagined. We’d love if you’d have a listen!

We Discuss:

Keeping track of the things we’ve shared with our kids as a way of seeing the fullness of what’s happening in our lives

Strewing as active, thoughtful and intentional but without attached expectations

Strewing as scattering seeds and fertilizing ground – enriching the environment

How terms and words can feel like they come with a set of rules

Spontaneous strewing

Inviting our kids into our interests as well

How strewing can offer comfort and practicality if parents are newer to homeschooling or not using a curriculum

That strewing is both simple and complex

Strewing as a fun, enjoyable practice

How all parents living in connection with their kids are likely doing some form of strewing without necessarily having a name for it

Digitally documenting the things we share and strew and do

Strewing as something that can be shared with family just even as a way to show what we’ve been up to

Strewing as connected to our children’s love languages

Sharing ideas with people of all ages as a form of strewing

Strewing for the purpose of connecting and sharing rather than for a learning goal

Differentiating between the delight-directed learning of curating around a child’s interest to cover certain subjects versus authentically offering something with no strings attached

How some things might be seen as objectively educational or academic

Sneaky or stealth learning – manipulation versus autonomy of choice

Whether there’s such a thing as a strewing “fail” and if so, how we might define that

How there can be room to share our thoughts without manipulating the situation and turning things into a lesson or our own agenda

Being connected and observant as a way of knowing when we might be pushing our kids beyond what they’re comfortable with

That it’s helpful to remember that the world has so many opportunities rather than coming at things from a scarcity mindset

Trust in us as having a lot to do with how kids feel about what we offer

Not feeling absolute or time-limited about what we offer – something may be enjoyed at another time

The vast difference in children’s responses and warm-up time – a “maybe” can mean completely different things from different children

Creating a safe and welcoming environment for kids to join things if they are self-conscious or apprehensive – the line between being strategically supportive and manipulative

Whole family strewing

Modeling being a curious person

Sensory strewing!

Expanding our ideas of what’s important

That diving into a child’s interest too intensely can actually hamper it or at least hamper their willingness to share

Being upfront about the time commitment and intensity of what we’re offering if it’s a bigger thing – a volunteer job or theatre opportunity, sports team and noticing when it’s something we’d like them to do because it would feel good to us

What kids’ interpretation of an activity or commitment is

Supporting our kids’ developing sense of self and consent

Low cost strewing ideas (so many interesting things came up!)

Accepting and leaning into ideas from extended family, friends and neighbours

Resources:

Strewing: Definition and Suggestions – Sandra Dodd

The Gardener and the Carpenter – Alison Gopnick

What to Do When Strewing is Rejected- Stories of an Unschooling Family

When Our Help and Strewing Are Rejected – Stories of an Unschooling Family

The Big Fib Podcast

Love Languages for Children – Dr. Gary Chapman

Episode 15: Homeschooling Community-Finding, Sustaining and How it Evolves – Everlearning

The time of year leading up to the conventional school year can include mixed emotions. We’re surrounded by back to school focus, fellow home educators talking about their plans and maybe even wondering how we might get to our family’s own aspirations and ideas. Please pull up a chair and listen in as we talk about moving through the fear of missing out.

We Discuss:

How people are talking about planning and curriculum and being ready for the beginning of the school year. It sometimes feels like we must be missing something.

That so much has to do with how we perceive homeschooling and education and the way we go about that so some people‘s actual homeschool styles are going to require more planning than others. It doesn’t necessarily make them better but it’s just kind of the reality of logistics.

Taking personality into consideration rather than making assumptions about homeschool styles

That there isn’t one way of doing things and so just because we see people doing those things doesn’t mean that we are necessarily missing out if we don’t. It also doesn’t mean that our kids are necessarily missing out if we don’t.

Adventure lists, project lists, joy lists and compiling of ideas and plans with flexibility built in

Marketing in Back to School sales that promote the idea of a new and fresh start

Centering of school and Back to School in kids’ books, shows and movies and how that doesn’t always resonate for homeschool families – finding our own norms

Acknowledging that our kids will be missing out on things no matter what decisions we make – school or not, particular homeschool style, our particular location

That it’s okay not to do “all the things” whether that’s following the Olympics or taking advantage of traditional fall activities or anything else

Practical ways to work through feeling grief or uncertainty about the first day of school or various milestones like school pictures, riding in the bus, track and field.

The idea of “what enough is” and looking very intentionally at how rich everyday life can be

The school year as simply an extension of what you’re already doing and both the ordinary and extraordinary things you’re enjoying.

Marking down the ordinary things on the calendar as a way of noting the regular abundance of our lives

Taking “stock” of the content and process of our week from three perspectives: What do our children bring and initiate? What do we? What do the natural happenings of life? Is there an area we’d like to pay more attention to?

Challenging common assumptions about linear or standardized learning and developmental stages

Potential fear of missing out on what we had intended to bring to parenting, so actually missing out on the implementation of our own ideas

Abundant family living on a budget – ways for home education to be as accessible as possible

Resources:

Taking a Kinder Path – 4 lists to liven up your home ed days (And keep you on track for a life you love) 

Taking a Kinder Path – Joy lists: A Home Education Essential (what they are, why you should have one and how to get started)

Taking a Kinder Path – Home Ed Resources – Read-aloud round-up 2021 (gorgeous gift ideas with)

Taking a Kinder Path – 13 Best-Year-Yet Resources for Home-Ed Planning

Taking a Kinder Path – New to home education – Your first week

Life is Already Full – Moving Away from the Fear of Missing Out

Are we Looking from the Perspective of a Child?

A Piece of Ordinary

Abundant Family Living on a Budget

Episode 16: Lists or Not – How Do We and Those We Love Keep Organized?

Episode 25: Self-Directed Learning Beyond Acadmics

A Lifetime for Learning – Parents Don’t Need to Offer Everything

Homeschooling Terms that Crept Up on Me…Confessions of an Early 2000s Homeschooling Mum

Often when self-directed learning or home education in general is discussed, the focus is on skills that are considered academic or subject-oriented such as reading, writing, mathematics, science, history and others. However, a growing number of other things such as learning to swim, skate, learn an instrument and drive a car are now assumed to need formal, paid instruction as well. Sometimes this is preferred and beneficial but could some of it be marketing or fear-based? What happens when children learn life skills or pursue interests in their own time or with support from family?  Please join us as we discuss a topic that might be of interest regardless of how or where your child is educated. 

Free to Learn – Dr. Peter Gray 

The middle-age years can be a challenging time but could they be full of promise and opportunity as well? We loved having Missy Willis of Let ‘em Go Barefoot and Sue Elvis of Stories of an Unschooling Family chat with us about midlife and what the possibilities are if we approach this life stage with an unschooling mindset. Please have a look at the Resources below to link directly to Missy’s essay that inspired the conversation and Sue’s latest unschooling book which challenges us not only with our children’s unschooling but with our own perspective. We hope you’ll enjoy our discussion.

Embracing Midlife with an Unschooling Mindset – Missy Willis, Let ‘em Go Barefoot Substack 

The Unschool Challenge – Sue Elvis