What happens when you already have insight into who you are, but you still feel stuck?

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I am joined by Vivian Ip, founder of Tuesday Coaching.

Vivian helps late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic professionals turn their insight into action. With an academic background in psychology research, and over 20 years of experience across commercial photography, startups, and tech, Vivian now supports high-achieving neurodivergent professionals through coaching.

In this conversation, we talk about ADHD, autism, late diagnosis, therapy, coaching, shame, burnout, and what it means to understand your brain without trying to fix who you are.

Vivian shares how many of the people she works with have already done a lot of therapy, have processed parts of their trauma, and have a deep understanding of themselves. But even with that insight, they may still struggle to move forward, take action, or create strategies that actually work with their neurodivergent brain.

We also talk about the difference between therapy and coaching. Therapy helps someone process the past, how it affects the present, understand what happened, and unpack the emotional impact of their experiences. Coaching, in Vivian’s work, stays more connected to the present moment and asks: now that you understand this, how do you move with it in your everyday life?

This episode also explores how shame shows up when people hear “take action” and assume it means motivation, discipline, or trying harder. From a neurodivergent lens, feeling stuck may have less to do with laziness and more to do with energy, processing, sensory needs, burnout, masking, or trying to fit into a world that was not built with your brain in mind.

Vivian also shares how small overlooked details can change everything. Sometimes the thing getting in the way is not the whole plan. It may be one sensory detail, one transition, one moment of overwhelm, one place where the body does not feel safe, or one part of the task that nobody thought to ask about.

Toward the end of the conversation, we talk about ADHD and autism beyond a white-centered lens. Vivian shares how gender, race, culture, work, relationships, privilege, and collective identity can shape how people understand neurodivergence, whether they seek diagnosis, and how they make sense of themselves after being late-diagnosed or late-identified.

This conversation is a reminder that there is nothing wrong with your brain.

You may need support, tools, strategies that are actually made for the way you process the world.

However, you do not need to become someone else to be worthy of support.

Reflection Question

If you have ever felt stuck even after gaining insight, ask yourself:

What if this is not about laziness?

What if this is not about discipline?

What if there is one small detail I have not noticed yet?

Is there a sensory need?

A transition?

A routine?

A fear?

A place where I am masking?

A part of the task that feels unclear?

A place where shame is making it harder to understand what I actually need?

Sometimes the next step is not forcing yourself to try harder.

Sometimes the next step is slowing down enough to understand what is really happening.

About Vivian Ip

Vivian Ip is the founder of Tuesday Coaching, where she helps late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic professionals turn their insights into action.

With an academic background in psychology research, Vivian spent over 20 years helping clients succeed in the commercial photography industry, various startups, and in tech before turning that experience, and her own late ADHD and autism diagnosis, into a coaching practice for high-achieving neurodivergent professionals.

You can learn more about Vivian and her work at Tuesday Coaching.

Vivian is also speaking at the Social Connections Summit, happening September 23rd and 24th, with the theme “Neurodivergence Plus.”

Lakay Within Community

Before we close, I also want to invite you to join my free Lakay Within Community.

It is a WhatsApp community where I share weekly reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement to help women slow down, reflect, reconnect with themselves, and remember that they do not have to carry everything alone.

Here is the link.

Therapy Services

I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas through Transformative Healing Pathways. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, coaching, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Have you ever read a quote and felt like it was speaking directly to you?

Maybe you saved it, shared it, or said to yourself, “Wow, I needed this.”

And then a few days later, the old thought pattern came back.

The same fear, doubt, the same way of seeing yourself., and the same way of interpreting what happened.

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m talking about why inspirational quotes and affirmations can feel powerful in the moment, but still not fully stay with us when there are deeper beliefs and patterns underneath.

A quote can touch something in us. It can give us hope, language, and a moment to breathe. But if there is an old belief inside of us that says something different, the quote may not have a place to land yet.

I use the image of the brain as a desktop with folders. Inside those folders are beliefs, stories, experiences, and things we learned about ourselves, relationships, love, safety, family, and the world. When something new happens, the brain tries to figure out where to file it. If it matches an old belief, it is easier for the brain to place it there. If it does not match, the brain may question it, minimize it, or reject it.

So when a quote says, “I am worthy,” but the belief underneath says, “I have to earn love,” there may be resistance.

When a quote says, “I am allowed to rest,” but the belief underneath says, “If I rest, I am lazy,” the old pattern may still come back.

This episode is about understanding why awareness matters first.

Before we can receive something new, we may need to understand what we have been carrying.

I also share how I think about inspirational quotes in the therapy room. I am cautious with them because when someone is carrying deep beliefs about themselves, their worth, their safety, their needs, or their voice, we usually need to begin by noticing what is already there.

What is the thought?

What is the belief?

Where did it come from?

How does it show up in your relationships?

How does it show up in your body?

How does it show up in the way you rest, receive support, or make decisions?

When we begin to name the belief, understand how it once protected us, and question whether it still serves us, then reframing can begin. And the reframe has to be something the nervous system can actually hold.

Sometimes we do not need another quote but instead we need to understand why the truth we read had nowhere to stay.

And once we begin doing that work, those reminders can start to feel different. They are no longer just words on a screen. They become something we are slowly learning how to live.

Reflection Question

Think about a quote, affirmation, or reminder that has touched you recently.

Maybe it is something you saved, you liked, or something that made you pause.

And ask yourself:

What did this quote touch in me?

What belief inside of me makes this hard to fully receive?

What is one small way I can begin creating space for this truth in my life?

Because healing is not only about what we repeat.

It is also about what we are ready to receive.

And sometimes before we can receive something new, we have to understand what we have been carrying.

Lakay Within Community

If you are looking for a gentle space to continue reflecting, I invite you to join my free Lakay Within Community.

It is a space for women to slow down, reflect, reconnect with themselves, and remember that they do not have to carry everything alone.

Here is the link.

Therapy Services

I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas through Transformative Healing Pathways. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Have you ever looked back and realized that if you had not challenged your own fear, your own limitation, or your own belief that you were not ready yet, you would not be where you are today?

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m sharing a personal reflection about my own journey of waiting to feel ready.

I talk about the moment I was invited to speak for a school district and how that experience made me look back at the version of myself who used to believe I needed more years, another title, or a supervisor role before I could teach, speak, or put myself out there.

For a long time, I thought I was preparing.

But when I look back now, I can see that some of what I was calling preparation was actually fear.

It was limitation.

It was me looking outside of myself for permission.

In this episode, I share how my career path moved from pre-med, to nursing, to nutrition, to psychology, and eventually to becoming a therapist. I talk about the moments when I felt stuck, the people who helped me reflect, and the ways I kept searching for work that felt meaningful, complex, and connected to helping people.

I also reflect on how I compared myself to supervisors and believed I needed to follow someone else’s path before I could trust my own.

And then everything started to shift.

A conversation with a friend helped me see that the standards I created for myself were not always truth. Some of them were fear. Some of them were self-protection. Some of them were me waiting for someone else to tell me I was ready.

This episode is for the person who keeps saying:

I need more time, I need more experience, I need to feel more confident, I need someone to choose me, I need to have everything figured out first.

Maybe some preparation is needed.

But maybe some of it is fear.

And maybe the first step is how confidence begins to grow.

Because sometimes confidence does not come before we move.

Sometimes movement comes first.

Sometimes we learn by taking one honest step toward the thing that keeps calling us.

Reflection Question

What is something you have been waiting to do because you do not feel ready yet?

And when you think about that thing, ask yourself:

Is this really preparation?

Or is this fear?

Is this a real requirement?

Or is this a limitation I created for myself?

What is one small step I can take toward the thing that keeps calling me?

Not the whole plan.

Not the perfect plan.

Just one honest step.

Lakay Within Community

Before we close, I also want to invite you to join the free Lakay Within Community.

It is a WhatsApp community where I share weekly reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement to help you slow down, reflect, and reconnect with yourself.

If this episode spoke to something in you, and you are looking for a gentle space to continue reflecting, you are welcome to join us there.

You can find the link Here

Therapy Services

I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas through Transformative Healing Pathways. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Have you ever looked at someone’s behavior and assumed you understood what was happening?

Maybe you saw someone talking to themselves.Maybe you heard someone being called “crazy” or moun fou.Maybe you watched someone act in a way that did not make sense to you and thought you knew their story.

But what if there was so much more happening underneath the surface?

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m joined by Frantzie, a clinical social worker who works closely with individuals living with severe mental illness, including schizophrenia, psychosis, bipolar disorder, and other conditions that are often misunderstood.

Together, we talk about what severe mental illness can look like when someone is untreated, how medication can help reduce symptoms like hallucinations, paranoia, and confused thinking, and why someone living with schizophrenia is not “crazy,” dangerous, or lost.

We also talk about something that is deeply important in our Haitian community: stigma.

Growing up in Haiti, many of us saw people struggling with severe mental illness in the streets. Some were isolated. Some were ridiculed. Some were labeled quickly without anyone asking what they might be experiencing, what support they needed, or what treatment could have changed for them.

This conversation is about understanding. It is about remembering that behavior is often communication. It is about seeing beyond what is visible and asking, “What might be happening underneath this?”

Frantzie also reminds us that faith and mental health treatment do not have to compete with each other. We can pray, have faith, and still seek professional support. One does not cancel out the other.

At the heart of this episode is one message:

Severe mental illness is not a character flaw.It is not something to be ashamed of.And people living with mental illness deserve dignity, care, compassion, and support.

In This Episode

We talk about:

* What schizophrenia and psychosis can look like when untreated

* Why someone hearing voices or experiencing paranoia should not be dismissed or ridiculed

* How medication can support stability and daily functioning

* Why arguing with someone’s hallucination or delusion usually does not help

* How to respond with empathy without pretending you share the same reality

* The harm caused by labels like “crazy” or moun fou

* Why behavior is often communication

* How Haitian cultural stigma can affect treatment and support

* Why faith and professional mental health care can work together

* How families can support loved ones who may need psychiatric care

* Why compassion can change how people experience mental illness and healing

Reflection Question

The next time you see someone behaving in a way you do not understand, pause and ask:

What might be happening underneath what I can see?

Because sometimes what we call “crazy” is actually pain, fear, confusion, illness, or a person trying to survive without the support they need.

Lakay Within

If this conversation resonated with you, I would love to invite you to Lakay Within, my monthly virtual gathering for Haitian women.

Lakay Within is a space where we slow down, reflect, connect, and make room for healing in community.

Our next gathering will take place on August 11.

If you are not quite ready for the virtual gathering, you are also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement throughout the month.

Both links: Lakay Within

Lakay Within Community

Therapy Services

Aurelie Zephir, LMFT, offers therapy services for adults in California and Texas through Transformative Healing Pathways. Her work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, psychiatric care, medication management, or individualized mental health treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing symptoms of severe mental illness, psychosis, or emotional distress, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional, psychiatrist, crisis resource, or emergency support service in your area.

Have you ever noticed that Sunday night or Monday morning can feel heavy before the week even begins?

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m reflecting on the emotional and nervous system shift that can happen when the weekend ends and the week begins.

Even when the weekend is busy, it still has a different rhythm. And then Monday comes, and your body begins preparing for responsibility again. Work. Clients. Children. Schedules. Routines. Meals. School. Emails. All the things.

I share a personal reflection about realizing that Mondays feel different for me when my husband is home. Not because every responsibility disappears, but because safe connection helps my nervous system feel more regulated.

This episode is about co-regulation, safe relationships, emotional safety, Haitian cultural expectations around strength, and why so many of us learned to carry quietly.

It is also a reminder that nervous system regulation is not always something we do alone. Sometimes our body feels safer because we are connected to someone who feels safe.

If Monday feels heavy for you, it does not mean you are lazy, ungrateful, or weak. It may mean your body is feeling the transition and asking for more support, softness, structure, or connection.

Maybe Monday isn’t the problem.

Maybe your nervous system is asking for a softer transition.

Reflection Question

Think about a time when your body felt calmer because of someone’s presence.

What was different?

Was it their tone?

The way they listened?

The way they helped without making you feel small?

The way you could be yourself?

The way your body did not have to brace?

And then ask yourself:

How can I create more of that in my life in small, honest ways?

Lakay Within

If you are looking for a space where we continue conversations like this, I want to invite you to Lakay Within, my monthly virtual gathering for Haitian women.

Lakay Within is a space where we slow down, reflect, reconnect, and make room for healing in community.

Our next gathering will take place on August 11.

If you are not quite ready for the monthly gathering, you are also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, encouragement, and updates throughout the month.

Therapy Services

I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas through Transformative Healing Pathways. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

Join the free Lakay Within Community:https://chat.whatsapp.com/KOhFWacGTPGGwkQ6UqDLjW

Learn more about Lakay Within, and therapy services:www.transformativehealingpathways.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Have you ever been told that you’re “too emotional”?

Maybe someone said it to you when you were crying.Maybe you heard it as a child when your feelings felt too big.Maybe you have said it to yourself.Or maybe you have seen it said about an entire group of people.

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m reflecting on why the phrase “you’re too emotional” has been sitting heavy with me.

Not because emotional regulation is not important.Not because every emotional reaction is healthy.But because I believe those words often teach something very different than what we intend.

When we say “you’re too emotional” to a child, we may think we are teaching them to calm down. But many times, what they actually learn is:

“My emotions are a problem.”“I am too much.”“It is not safe to show what I feel.”

And if no one teaches that child how to understand, express, and regulate their emotions, they may grow into an adult who either suppresses everything, disconnects from what they feel, or becomes overwhelmed by emotions they were never taught how to hold.

This conversation also connects to something I have been noticing in our Haitian community.

As Haiti returned to the World Cup and conversations unfolded online about the team, the jersey, pride, history, and representation, I kept seeing one comment repeated in different ways:

“Haitians are too emotional.”

That phrase bothered me.

Because when I think about our history as Haitian people: slavery, revolution, political instability, natural disasters, migration, separation from family, economic hardship, and generations of survival, I wonder what it would mean to approach our emotions with more context and compassion.

Survival and emotional regulation are not the same thing.

When your nervous system is focused on surviving, there is not always space to slow down, process, reflect, and learn how to regulate.

So in this episode, I’m asking a different question:

What if the problem is not that we are too emotional?What if many of us were never given enough space, safety, or support to learn what to do with our emotions?

This episode is an invitation to move from shame to curiosity.

Instead of saying, “You’re too emotional,” maybe we can begin asking:

“What is this emotion trying to communicate?”“What happened?”“What do I need right now?”“How can I respond instead of simply react?”

Because maybe the goal is not to have fewer emotions.

Maybe the goal is to understand them better.

The next time you feel emotional, or the next time someone around you becomes emotional, pause and ask:

What might this emotion be trying to communicate?

Not every feeling needs to control your response.

But every feeling deserves to be understood.

If this conversation resonated with you, I would love to invite you into Lakay Within.

Lakay Within is a monthly virtual gathering rooted in Haitian womanhood, healing, reflection, and connection. It is a space where we slow down, breathe, reflect, and make room for the parts of ourselves we often carry quietly.

Our next gathering is on July 14 at 7 PM CT Virtual

If you are not quite ready for the monthly gathering, you are also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement throughout the month.

Click on the Links here for Lakay Within and the free community

I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion.

You can learn more about therapy services through Transformative Healing Pathways.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or a crisis support resource in your area.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need this reminder.

And remember:

Keep choosing yourself.Keep learning.Let’s heal, grow, and thrive together.

For years, people have asked me whether therapists ever stop being therapists.

Does your therapist brain ever turn off?Do you analyze everyone around you?What is it like being married to a therapist?

For a long time, I thought I knew the answer.

Then I attended a healing retreat and realized something I had never seen before.

In this personal episode, I share the experience that helped me understand the difference between carrying a professional role and carrying an identity. What started as a simple journaling exercise turned into a powerful realization about the roles we wear, the space we take up, and the ways we sometimes put ourselves last without even realizing it.

This episode explores:

• Why I thought I had left my therapist hat at work• The surprising realization I had at a women’s retreat• The difference between doing therapy and holding space• The roles many of us carry without noticing• Why healing sometimes reveals what we’ve been carrying all along

Whether you’re a therapist, caregiver, parent, helper, oldest daughter, or simply someone who often puts others first, I hope this conversation invites you to reflect on the roles you carry and whether you’ve given yourself permission to simply be.

If this reflection resonates with you and you're looking for a space to continue these kinds of conversations in community, I'd love to invite you to join us

Lakay Within is a monthly virtual gathering centered on reflection, emotional wellness, healing, and connection.

The next Lakay Within gathering will take place on July 14th.

If you’re not ready for the virtual gathering, you’re also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community here, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and updates throughout the month.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment.

Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing therapy services in California and Texas.

Learn more at:Psychology Today

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I sit down with Kimberly Lauriston, LCSW-S, to explore Haitian identity, culture, ancestry, spirituality, and healing.

Together, we reflect on what it was like growing up Haitian in the United States, the traditions that connected us to our culture, and the ways migration can shape our sense of identity. We discuss the wisdom passed down through our grandparents, the cultural practices that have been lost over time, and why so many people in our generation are searching for ways to reconnect with their roots.

This conversation also explores the relationship between culture, faith, community, ancestral knowledge, and healing. We talk about what happens when traditions are not passed down, the importance of preserving cultural knowledge, and how returning to our roots can help us better understand ourselves.

If you have ever wondered what parts of Haitian culture have been lost, what our elders carried, or how we can preserve our identity for future generations, this conversation is for you.

Lakay Within is our ongoing community gathering where we come together to reflect, heal, and grow in a safe, culturally grounded space.” Then it makes sense when you invite them to join the community or sign up for the next gathering. Let’s give them context so they know why it’s meaningful!

Join the free Lakay Within Community:https://chat.whatsapp.com/KOhFWacGTPGGwkQ6UqDLjW

The next Lakay Within virtual gathering takes place June 9th at 7 PM CT.

Learn more about Lakay Within, and therapy services:www.transformativehealingpathways.com

About Kimberly Lauriston, LCSW-S

Kimberly Lauriston is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Clinical Director of Inmost Ease Counseling & Behavioral Health, and consultant with Elevation Coaching & Consulting. She provides teletherapy services in Texas and Florida.

Website: www.inmosteasecounseling.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment. Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering therapy services in California and Texas. Kimberly Lauriston is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker offering teletherapy services in Texas and Florida.

In this special video episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I sit down with Dr. Gaetane Saint-Victor for a deeply honest conversation about healing in the Black and Haitian communities. Together, we explore the emotional weight many people carry silently while still appearing “strong” to the world.

We talk about the “strong Black woman” archetype, perfectionism, survival mode, vulnerability, generational trauma, therapy resistance in our communities, and the pressure so many people feel to keep going no matter what they are carrying internally. We also discuss how culture, identity, faith, and past experiences shape the way people understand healing — and why asking for help can feel so difficult for many of us.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt emotionally exhausted while still showing up for everyone else, struggled to slow down, or questioned whether they are allowed to prioritize their own healing.

I truly believe this episode will resonate with so many people in our community, and I hope it reminds you that healing does not make you weak — it allows you to finally put down what you were never meant to carry alone.

The next Lakay Within virtual gathering will take place on June 9th at 7 PM CT. Lakay Within is a community healing space created for reflection, emotional wellness, and reconnecting with yourself in a gentle and supportive environment.

You can learn more about Lakay Within, individual therapy services, workshops, and upcoming offerings on my website

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment. Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering therapy services in California and Texas.

There’s a common belief that inner child healing is about being overly emotional, avoiding responsibility, or “coddling” yourself.

But that’s not what it is.

In this episode, I explore what inner child work actually means—and why so many adults are learning emotional skills later in life that they needed much earlier.

For the first time, I’m joined by a very special guest: my daughter.

Through our conversation, you’ll hear what emotional awareness can look like when it’s nurtured early—naming feelings, expressing them safely, and learning how to regulate.

Afterward, I reflect on what happens when those tools are missing, and how that can show up later in life as:

* anxiety

* people pleasing

* emotional shutdown

* fear of rejection

* difficulty trusting

This episode is a gentle but powerful reminder:

Healing is not about going backward. It’s about responding differently now.

Lakay Within

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to invite you into Lakay Within.

Next gathering: May 12th

Disclaimer

This podcast is educational and not a substitute for therapy. Aurelie Zephir offers therapy in California and Texas.