This week's guest is Lonnel Harris A.K.A. Blaq Rosebudd!

You saved up money for a whole year and you finally have enough loot in your bank account to take on your very first sugar baby! She'll be the first in your stable, one day you hope to have a gaggle of play-for-pay babes, every race and creed represented. You scour Backpage until you find just the right baby; she's tan and young and ready to roll! You invite her over after midnight. She arrives at 3 A.M. "She" turns out to be a 37-year-old man and his beefy buddies. They beat you and rob you of your loot. You black out after the 3rd blow from a vicious pistol-whipping. You have no insurance and your ensuing medical bills are off the chart! It is highly unlikely you will ever be able to afford a sugar baby again. Looks like you'll die a virgin.

All your life you have been told you’re funny, everyone always says you should be a comedian when you grow up. Finally you believe them and move to Hollywood with your girlfriend, who also shares your dream. Y’all drink for 3 months until you’ve worked up the courage to hit up the open mic night at The World Famous Comedy Store. Both you and your woman sign up but only you get picked to go onstage that night. The open mic is not watched by the booker, the other comics or even a crowd; the room is empty, gloomy and silent. You go up and eat shit on the mic. That’s bad enough but then the host comes back onstage and calls you a pedophile. Then the next comic goes up and also calls you a pedophile (years later this particular “comedian” will sell enough weed to the booker to get his name on the wall of The Store, rendering the honor meaningless). You walk home with your girlfriend. She weeps. She weeps not for you and how you have been humiliated, she weeps for herself because she didn’t get picked to go up and be humiliated as well. She leaves you for the King Beta Male of the open mic scene. You toil in obscurity. Welcome to Hollywood!

Comedian/visual artist Taylor Bos is this week's guest on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!

You met her online. She seemed pleasant enough so you asked her out on a date & she said yes. You treat her to a nice dinner at a 3-star restaurant. She has 3 drinks. & 3 entrees. & dessert! You tally the cost in your mind: $333! & all you had was French fries! Making conversation, she asks you what your favorite podcast is & you say W3 Thr33 Tr0lls, much to your date’s horror. “But that’s ABLEIST!” she screeches. At the end of the night she is sauced on the drinks you bought her & she tells you to check your privilege when you go in for a kiss. The next morning she puts you on blast on social media, claims you touched her inappropriately; you didn’t touch her at all.  By afternoon you have been fired from your job. By evening your Facebook friends are down to zero. You never love again.

Homeless is where the heartlessness is…that’s what the newspaper reporter said to you as he handed you the camera. He was writing an exposé on the homeless crisis in L.A. and he wanted a “bum’s eye view” so he gave you a camera and $33 to document the war on homelessness right from the front lines. After you drank up the money you got to work tenderly making portraits of your fellow fuck-ups. The reporter put stars in your eyes, suggesting you might even win a Pulitzer for your guerrilla photography. You didn’t know what monkeys had to do with it but you snapped away, carving beauty from mounds of shit. You sat down to take a rest. A man emerged from the shadows. He declared, “I am Fanto and you gotta go!” Fanto’s fists clobbered your face and genitalia, mostly your genitals. You whimpered as he photographed your bloodied bod with your very own camera, which Fanto dutifully smashed before he took off into the night in search of another easy target.

Comedian Hormoz Rashidi is the guest for episode #79 of W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!

Rozafa visited San Francisco with comedians Punkie Johnson and Nick Kekeris this past weekend; W3 Thr33 Tr0lls #78 surveys the damage!

Frank Castillo is this week's guest on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls! This might be the filthiest episode we've ever done and that's saying a lot. Proceed with caution. Play this for your children so they learn what life is REALLY like!

You've been shadow-boxing your demons all day and now you're ready to rumble!!! You stumble down the street, butane in your lungs and meth on the brain... You encounter a she-dragon. You ball up your fists. You let one fly. The she-dragon hisses as your fist strikes its snout. You grab the she-dragon's purse and hightail it outta there! Later, after you've sobered up, you dig through the purse. You find an iPod. You play the iPod. You hear W3 Thr33 Tr0lls. You recognize the voice of the she-dragon! Your hand balls up into a fist...