waking up in real time

In this episode, I sat down with Clare Assante to talk about supporting teens through self-harm, anxiety, and the heavy pressures they face. We explore how parental fear can get in the way, and how understanding thought, feelings, and the body’s signals creates real space for healing.Clare shares practical insights from her work with teens and parents, while we dive into the “bullshit detector,” sitting with uncomfortable feelings, and why allowing emotions to flow (instead of rushing to fix them) is so powerful.Key Topics– Clare’s work with teens & parents– Understanding self-harm– Sitting with feelings & the "bullshit detector"– Roller-coaster analogy– Being grateful for triggers– Parenting: allowing kids to feel their feelings– Parental fears of judgmentWhat Resonated MostUncomfortable feelings are often just a signal we’re believing scary thoughts — not that something is wrong.The same sensation can feel like fear or excitement depending on the story we attach.Our urge to “fix” our kids’ discomfort is often more about our own anxiety than their needs.Triggers are gifts that show us where we’re not yet free.Guest BioClare Assante coaches teens and their parents through self-harm, anxiety, and life pressures. She helps parents move from fear to understanding.Find Clare: https://blindsidedbythought.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blindsidedby/#https://www.instagram.com/clare.assante/#

Join Soul Huddles:

www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

soul huddles

www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

everything else:

www.bekaelle.com

<3

What if the secret to peace isn’t doing more or managing better — but simply returning to this moment? In this rich conversation, I sit down with Suzie Yeulett, coach & author of The Point of Now, to explore her inverted triangle model and how our busy minds pull us away from the simplicity of life.Suzie shares profound insights from caring for her mother at the end of life, why even highly capable people feel exhausted, and how dropping the need to control our experience opens the door to natural resilience, presence, and ease. We touch on death, information overload, the illusion of a separate self, and the deep relief of realizing nothing needs to be managed the way we think.Key Topics:The Inverted Triangle: Mental busyness vs. the Point of NowLiving one breath at a time and why the mind cannot be presentReleasing the heavy mental backpack of to-do lists and future thinkingHow overwhelming information keeps us in fight-or-flightThe gift of presence during life’s hardest moments (including end-of-life care)Why we don’t need to “fix” ourselves or manage life as much as we thinkTrusting our innate wisdom and the natural flow of lifePerspectives on death, love, and the miracle of being hereThe relief of seeing thoughts as mental weatherSuzie's Info:thepointofnow.comhttps://www.sychangecoach.com/Join Soul Huddles: www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

What if your binge eating, emotional eating, or bulimia wasn’t really about food or your body at all? In this episode, I explore eating disorders through the lens of insecure (especially disorganized) attachment. We look at how early wounds around love, safety, and reliability show up as control over food and the body — and why weight loss alone never seems to solve the deeper craving.

I share why traditional diagnoses often fall short, how attachment styles shape our relationship with food, and why the real healing might not be about “fixing” ourselves… but about finally feeling what we’ve been running from.

Sign up for Soul Huddles [here]

In this episode, we break down why calorie counting is often misleading — and sometimes even harmful — for sustainable weight loss. Discover how your mindset, hormones, gut health, and nervous system affect how your body actually processes food. Learn why the “bomb calorimeter” model doesn’t work for humans and how shifting into safety and presence can transform your relationship with food.

We discuss:

• The famous Milkshake Study and how your beliefs about food directly impact ghrelin (the hunger hormone)
• Why your body is not a bomb calorimeter
• How different foods affect metabolism, digestion, and nutrient absorption (thermic effect of food)
• The hidden dangers of chronic calorie restriction and the famine response
• How calorie labels can be off by up to 20%
• How to move from willpower and restriction to trust and intuitive nourishment
• The real path to sustainable weight loss: nervous system safety, presence, and body awareness

Weight loss isn’t about perfect math — it’s about understanding your body as a complex, intelligent system. When you focus on feeling safe, nourished, and present, your body becomes much more willing to release excess weight naturally.

Soul Huddles: www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

In this episode, I explain why “inner child work” has become so overused and cringey for many people, and how to actually practice it in a way that creates real, lasting relief instead of just intellectual exercises.

Drawing from my own healing from binge-purge bulimia and work with clients, I share how to move beyond therapy buzzwords and genuinely soothe your nervous system.

• Why most inner child work feels ineffective or cheesy
• How childhood patterns drive adult addictive behaviors
• A simple, practical way to reparent yourself in triggering moments
• The power of co-regulation and having regulation modeled for you
• Why feeling safe in your body is the real antidote to addictive patterns

• Traditional “inner child work” often stays in the head and doesn’t create felt change.
• True healing happens when you learn to show up for yourself with genuine compassion and safety — especially when urges or emotions arise.
• Everyone is just a scared child trying to feel safe. Learning to soothe that part creates effortless behavior change.

• Soul Huddles: Free weekly Zoom community for real-time co-regulation and practice.

Also mentioned: Josie Spinardi

In this episode, Beka shares why structured elimination diets can be transformative for both physical and mental health — especially for those struggling with binge-purge cycles, food addiction, body dysmorphia, and other eating disorders. She challenges the mainstream “intuitive eating only” approach used in many treatment programs and highlights stories of radical healing through whole-foods elimination protocols and carnivore eating.

Beka emphasizes that the body wants to heal when given the right conditions, and that food directly impacts brain chemistry, mood, and even psychiatric symptoms. She stresses this is not medical advice and encourages listeners to trust their own experience.

• Why many people feel worse on intuitive eating (bloating, fatigue, anxiety, constant food noise)
• The mind-body connection: How nutrient deficiencies (like B12) can mimic serious psychiatric and neurological conditions, including symptoms misdiagnosed as MS
• Two powerful elimination diet approaches:
• Vital Mind Reset (Dr. Kelly Brogan): A 30-day paleo-style whole foods protocol + 3 minutes of daily meditation
• Carnivore Diet: Meat, salt, and animal products only — especially helpful for severe food sensitivities, addiction, and autoimmune issues
• How elimination diets create safety in the nervous system and allow repressed trauma/emotions to surface and heal
• The “masculine energy initiation” of setting protective boundaries with food
• Inspiring recovery stories: Reversal of bipolar, PTSD, fibromyalgia, Graves’ disease, Alzheimer’s, brain cancer, stage 4 ovarian cancer, MS symptoms, severe anorexia, and bulimia

Key Takeaways

• Not all foods are equal — some trigger inflammation, cravings, and psychological symptoms
• The body can heal itself dramatically when processed foods, sugars, and common irritants are removed
• Healing eating disorders may require temporary structure, not constant access to “forbidden fruit”
• 30 days can give you undeniable evidence of what your unique body needs
• Weight regulation often happens naturally once the body feels safe and nourished
• You are capable of showing up for yourself — this can rebuild self-trust and agency

Resources Mentioned

• Dr. Kelly Brogan’s Vital Mind Reset (program + randomized controlled trial on depression) - outcomes: https://www.kellybroganmd.com/outcomes?fb590fe2_page=8
• PubMed study on the Vital Mind Reset protocol - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7346300/
• Carnivore diet recovery stories (YouTube interviews linked in full show notes)
• Alzheimers: https://youtu.be/uOCXQn2xJHA?si=y14LcvaDuhy6ELTU
• Brain Cancer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnGVhVrXNVM
• Ovarian Cancer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoEmCwTMDX8
• Another Ovarian Cancer spread to spine/kidneys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5UOwyYBMfE
• MS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxw832nmMyA&t=1304s
• Studies - Keto:
• Anorexia: https://journalofmetabolichealth.org/index.php/jmh/article/view/84/254
• Binge Eating: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6988301/
• Interviews with women who healed severe anorexia/bulimia through carnivore
• Anorexia: https://youtu.be/C75SjgX7joI?si=Nor67Y2xRt5V0n_p
• Anorexia & Bulimia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU0WfQCF5bw
• Maggie the Rancher – 65 years carnivore

Soul Huddles – Free weekly community Zoom calls (Sundays) - www.bekeaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

1:1 Coaching & upcoming group membership with Beka www.bekaelle.com/contact

I am not a doctor and this should not be treated as medical advice.

Your Binge Eating Disorder Isn’t What You Think: A Fresh Perspective on Food Freedom

Struggling with binge eating, bulimia, or emotional eating? Former binge-purge bulimic shares why the traditional “eating disorder” label may be keeping you stuck — and how viewing binges as outdated brain survival programs can lead to rapid, lasting freedom. 

This episode challenges conventional psychology’s approach to eating disorders. Drawing from her own recovery from years of binge-purge bulimia and restrictive cycles, she explains why binge eating isn’t a sign you’re “broken,” but rather a healthy brain running outdated survival software in response to perceived threats. Learn how insight-based change can happen faster than you think and how to address the root cause instead of managing symptoms.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why the terms “eating disorder” and “recovery” can be counterproductive
• Binge eating as a survival response (“You’re not out of control — you’re under attack”)
• The brain as healthy hardware running painful/old software
• How perceived threats (stress, restriction, emotions) trigger binges
• Why real change can happen quickly through embodied insight (not years of slow habit-building)
• Snake vs. rope analogy & the power of true insight
• Comparison to psychedelic healing and subconscious learning
• Moving from self-blame to curiosity about the specific moment and pain behind the behavior

Key Takeaways

• Your brain isn’t broken — it’s running outdated “code” that once served a purpose
• Every binge has wisdom and a perfectly explainable reason rooted in survival instinct
• Labeling moments as “my eating disorder” keeps the pattern feeling permanent
• True freedom comes from addressing the root emotional threat in each fresh moment
• Rapid transformation is possible when the brain sees a better, safer way to respond
• Progress is often underestimated because of the mind’s negativity bias

Resources & Mentions

• Josie Spinardi – www.josiespinardi.org
• Amy Johnson – www.dramyjohnson.com
• Free weekly community: Soul Huddles (www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles)

binge eating disorder, overcoming binge eating, bulimia recovery, food freedom, stop binge eating

how to stop binge eating, binge eating help, eating disorder recovery, emotional eating recovery, Josie Spinardi, perceived threat binge eating, insight based change eating, brain survival response food, why do I binge eat

#BingeEating #FoodFreedom #EatingDisorderRecovery #BulimiaRecovery #EmotionalEating #StopBingeEating #BodyImage #InsightHealing #MentalHealth #SelfCompassion

Join Soul Huddles:

www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles

Join Soul Huddles:

www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles