Warped

Episode 194 - Remember Me

It's a spooky (or is it Spocky?) Halloween mystery on this week's TNG, but the real mystery is why doesn't Beverly get more episodes like this? She's so good in this one, you guys! So good, in fact, that Matt can't shut up about how much he loves this episode. (It's honestly a little much.) But still, as always, there are questions. Does it count as a "Wesley saves the ship" episode if he also causes the problem? Do they have a Checklist of Weird Shit they go through before they assume someone is losing their mind? What are the ethical implications of Deanna being both therapist and friend? And that Traveler sure is creepy, right? Run, Wesley!

Lest you think we spent the whole ep talking about Star Trek, fear not! Phillipe drops a Music Man reference! Shawn gets E.T.'s fingers wrong! Minh can't stop thinking about sex furniture! The gang geeks out over Poltergeist! All that and a rousing game of Who's Your Favorite Billionaire! Happy Halloween, everyone!

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Episode 193 - Suddenly Human

In a rare turn of events, we actually spend quite a bit of time talking about Star Trek this week! Topics include: Livingston the Starfleet Fish! The rules of Space Racquetball! Chad Allen and TV's Blonds Of The Late 80s! Squid Game! Will Wheaton getting ice cream thrown in his face by an angry teamster! What is the appropriate amount of Paul Reiser exposure? Squid Game again! The value of Radio Shack's customer database! Okay, so maybe these aren't ALL Star Trek related.

Plus: Jake voices an opinion, Erin hears the word Chakotay for the first time, and everyone's thrilled about the Triumphant Return of CONNECT EM ALL UP! (Because the fans demanded it.) All this and more on this week's Warped!

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Episode 192 - Brothers

Let's be honest: they can't all be winners. Brent Spiner talks to himself for about 45 minutes this week, leaving the Warped gang confused, unhappy, and hungry for nachos. A boy eats deadly fruit, raising questions about the professionalism of Starfleet's arborists. Data malfunctions (again), raising questions about whether he even belongs on the bridge. Beverly tells a joke, raising questions about her bedside manner. It's so boring the gang starts talking about what happened on LAST week's episode! Remember Worf's chair? We sure do!

Topics include: We Are The World! The accuracy of the Flintstones! Behind the curtain with our listener numbers! And finally, drum roll drum roll drum roll.... Old Clothes! Yes. Really.

All this plus a shoutout to our newest Patron, this week on Warped!

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Episode 191 - Family

Everyone's feeling a little off their game this week, which isn't helped when Erin throws us for a loop with an unconventional intro. But we quickly jump back on track as the family drama grabs our attention. This is a great episode of Star Trek and we're all super impressed by it, but sadly that doesn't stop us from talking about a bunch of random nonsense, as usual.

Topics include: what's our sexiest planet? Is William McKinley overrepresented in the naming of America's junior high schools? What sound do you make when you eat Rokeg Blood Pie? If there's no money in the Federation, how does owning a giant winery work? Is day drinking okay as long as you wait until noon? Is doing a bunch of drugs in Amsterdam similar to being assimilated? And most important of all, WHAT IS WORF SITTING IN???

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Episode 190 - The Best of Both Worlds Part II

Whooopieeee!!!! Welcome back, to a new season of Star Trek: TNG. Our Whoop Watch is goin' off and we're here for all of it.

It's also the nerd history-making second parter to the Picard/Locutie storyline, which is setting off all sorts of nostalgia waves for the Warped crew. Ride or die along with us, while we reminisce about not just the feels of watching this episode again, but also old school periodicals (TV Guide, yeah!), vee-cee-arrrr's and tape machines.

What a bunch of dinosaurs!

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Episode 189 - Zardoz (Part 2)

Flush with excitement after being exposed to the first half of John Boorman's almost too bonkers to believe it existed sci-fi extravaganza, Zardoz, the Warped crew is primed and pumped for Part 2!

We were so primed. So pumped! I mean, in the second half we learn that Sean Connery's sweat has magic fuck powers. Cool! There are more tenacious tatas to be titillated by. Alrighty man. Matt even senses that Zardoz is a "personal story" being told with great conviction. And yet... and yet... the sighing and gnashing of our teeth aren't of the good kind.

It's as if the magic of last night's debauchery and hedonism have worn off. Now we awaken next to the far too sweaty body of this heaving mass of meat and throbbing man-flesh that is Zardoz. What have we done?! What happened? Where is our underwear? Why are we so old now? Far too many questions. No real desire for answers.

Zardoz, it's certainly an experience. We're so thankful we had each other during this time.

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Episode 188 - Zardoz (Part 1)

It's our season break movie watch and, because Erin insisted on it and we always do what she says, we're watching Zardoz! Marvel at Sean Connery being styled to look like Burt Reynolds! Delight in 70s boobs and animated erections! Gasp in astonishment as Shawn guesses the secret of Zardoz 10 minutes into the movie! Tremble in fear as Matt repeatedly says bandolero when he means bandolier! Gaze in awe at a sharpie goatee!

All that and so, so much more! Seriously, what a crazy movie. If you know, you know. We're still recovering and this is only part one.

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Episode 187 - The Best of Both Worlds

Sooooo, great episode? Or GREATEST EPISODE EVER? It's hard to decide, because this one has it all! Riker's Career Conflicts! The Guy Who Played God Or Whatever In Star Trek V! The Chin Of Dennehy!

Erin and Phillipe are full of opinions this week, which is what happens when they watch the episode before we record. For example, is the Borg ship a bad design? And do the characters really care when red shirts die? Does Geordi have a Mourning Visor? And who's responsible for changing the shell in Jean-Luc's ready room?

Meanwhile, the rest of us remember that Hedy Lamarr invented SOMETHING, but what??? The mysterious connection between Twains both Mark and Shania is explored. And everyone loves Olympic rock climbing! All this and more on a blockbuster episode of Warped!

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Episode 186 - Transfigurations

Shawn isn't quite able to nail our intro, but we've been summer vacationing for the last few weeks. So whaddya-gunna-do? Even Captain Picard got his time off on Risa!

Happily this week, Geordi *is* able to nail it! After being touched by the healing spirit of Dr. Crusher's newfound (and very short-lived) love interest, Geordi discovers a confidence and swagger that we sadly won't see much of in later episodes. But we all know LeVar Burton can get some.

After that, Crusher's crush goes on to touch many other people on the crew. This is the start of much awkwardness, as we find ourselves simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by the preponderance of male camel-toe. We blame Dr. Crusher for his off-puttingly distracting space attire.

But hey, that's love. Whaddya-gunna-do?

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Episode 185 - Ménage à Troi

"Sexy fun times ahead.. with a title like that, it's gotta be good!"

It's a hot, horny, and hilarious episode this week as we gawp at the problematic Star Trek Season 3 episode known as "Ménage à Troi". The themes certainly fuel conversation, from Ferengi sexual proclivities (that'll be a no on oral), to Riker and Troi's open relationship (friends can kiss each other full on the mouth), to wondering about the Warped crew podcasting together naked (hey-ohhh!). We discover Minh is pulling in some big numbers—the safe word is "I'm tired." And as always, consent is necessary.

In the end, we bond over the fact that we wouldn't all be here together if we hadn't somehow collided in our collective orbits back in college. What a universe!

It certainly *is* the best oo-mox I've ever had!

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