Warped

Warped

By Warped: The Unnecessary Star Trek PodcastComedyTV & FilmArtsPerforming Arts
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Warped episodes

  • Episode 162 - Evolution

    This week the gang has mixed emotions as we say goodbye to Dr. Pulaski and welcome back our dear Dr. Crusher. Beverly's concerned because Wes doesn't seem to know any kids his own age, and all his acquaintances are either middle-aged men or robots. But Wesley doesn't care! Like most teenage boys he can make his own friends, if by friends you mean sentient nanobots who threaten the lives of everyone on the ship.


    We must have found this episode kind of boring to watch, because we spend most of our time talking around the margins. Matt wonders if Guinan dissolves into sparkles when no one's around, Shawn notices that high definition is not kind to 1980's makeup styles, and there's a lot of talk about wigs and uniforms. They can't all be winners, folks!


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    54 min
  • Episode 161 - Dune (Part 2)

    "I'm having a hard time in my head picturing what these episodes are going to sound like." - Matt, 1/24/21


    Prophetic words, my friends! Words of DUNE! Has Matt drunk from the Water of Life, or is he just drunk?


    The menagerie has taken over the zoo this week as we wrap up our watchthrough of DUNE. Shawn knows what the fox says, Minh admits he cannot conquer the worm, Erin loves even the most hairless of cats, and we're all happy the dog survives the movie. (Spoiler.)


    All this plus Roller Coaster Chat and Theme Park Memories, this week on Warped!


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    1 hr 14 min
  • Episode 160 - Dune (Part 1)
    This week we abandon our beloved utopian Starfleet for the wild, weird world of Arrakis! That's right, we're watching David Lynch's least favorite movie of all time, DUNE! And I'm not gonna lie, we're all over the place this week. Minh asks the eternal question: did Michael Jackson SING about the Elephant Man, or BUY HIM? May compares Duke Leto to the Duke from Bridgerton, Shawn wonders if Dune inspired Tremors, and we all speculate about Bear Grylls favorite beverage. (Spoiler: It ain't water.) Legit question: If this movie is so boring, why does Matt want a FOUR HOUR version? Brace yourselves, kids, this one's rough.

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    1 hr 13 min
  • Episode 159 - Shades Of Gray
    Come with us as Warped delves into the season 2 finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and finds a relic of TV's past... The Clip Show!!!! While enjoying the clips for reference Erin also marvels at the wonder that is bearded Jonathan Frakes. We decide that more fun than a Jack Ryan prequel would be a Jake Ryan prequel. Speaking of guys who could get it, Commander Riker goes through ghosts of boners past and we discuss the petri dish that is a Starship. Finally we wonder if doing it on the beach is worth it (its not) and what's the best James Bond theme (its Live and Let Die). All this and so much more on this week's Warped.

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    52 min
  • Episode 158 - Peak Performance
    On this week's Warped we get into Riker Swagger and why does Star Trek keep proving to us it's in the future. Matt tries to gaslight Shawn about the Golden Girls spin-off with Cheech and we all wonder at the beauty that is Bea Arthur in the Star Wars Holiday Special. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the podcast all of Picard's fish are gone and Jake thinks they may have been Muldaur'd. Minwin's pon farr acts up and all of us are the worse for it as we explore how Star Trek slash fic and Taco Bell are the same. Finally RIP David L Lander, hopefully you and Laverne are having a raucous sexual relationship in heaven and if anybody would like to write that slash fic I know a horny little Vulcan that is ready to Squiggy his bathroom mirror.

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    50 min
  • Episode 157 - The Emissary

    Welcome to our "Vavavavooom!" episode. "This one's got steam heat coming off it."

    In a future Star Trek post-scarcity future, what exactly are the stakes in a poker game? Friendship.. cigarettes... bragging rights? Our dear captain-leader Matt settles on the most plausible answer.. they're playing for holodeck hours. Of course.

    Minh has immigration stories. We take a huge tour through Recommendations Corner and find out Erin loves that Dirty Dancin', Shawn's got a tromboner for High School Musical, and Ang Lee got sway. There's love all around for Worf's baby mama and we're glad that Worf eventually learns to let go of the kling-y part of his hookups.

    We'll leave you with this.. "That's too much woman for you, Minh. You can't ride that coaster."

    "Hachachaaa!"


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    51 min
  • Episode 156 - Manhunt

    Betazoid pon farr, fish people, voyeuristic pets, a bad MLK analogy, self-loathing, "Now my finger smells like Tiberius". This episode's got some takes, and only half of them come from Warped crew member Minh. He regrets so much! But Erin comes in like White Gandalf on Shadowfax to restore some semblance of right to the world.


    Meanwhile, look forward to Warped's new line of signature fragrances and body odours, coming to you sometime in the near/far future. This episode's scent pairing ("Stardate") is dedicated to Minh himself.


    "Stardate. Skillful and mysterious like 007 James Bond if he chose an eternal, unrequited Pon Farr. Apply to the bare midriff that doesn't change when you sit down (humble brag!). Pairs well with White Russians. Warning: opossums are attracted to this fragrance."


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    53 min
  • Episode 153 - Up The Long Ladder
    In this weeks episode we go old school. Star Trek gets back to its Irish hating roots and all feels right with the world. Unfortunately they didn't remember to also bring with them the most important character from the original show...SCREENIE!!!!!!!! Oh well we should all have a drink but oh right no bars, remember bars guys. Matt and Jake both introduce their newest character impressions and we go Warped old school with a CORRECTIONS CORNER

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    57 min
  • Episode 152 - Samaritan Snare
    For the first time in forever Minh introduces a new character to Warped.  We discuss the ease of flying in space and the etiquette regarding food replicators vis-a-vis sandwiches.  Matt is made furious by some disturbing Jeopardy news (no its not that news).  Finally is Minh the true life story behind the movie Big.  Find out on this weeks episode of Warped.

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    53 min
  • Episode 151 - Q Who

    We're flipping the script again, as Erin kicks off a very special episode of Warped. It's our first encounter with the Borg, and May's first encounter with the Q Continuum.


    A special guest star gives us the opportunity to lightly graze a three-breasted treasure of science fiction cinema. It should be no surprise by now that Guinan steals the show for us whenever she gets involved. Despite the format of our show, we still think it's appropriate to observe in silent respect the stellar performance of Whoopi Goldberg, and in the meantime our strengthening fan powers lead us to theorize that Geordi is constantly bugging Deanna about his bad luck with women.


    From The Smashing Pumpkins to Hanson, we talk about our favorite bands growing up, and the newer acts that we have definitely heard about from somewhere. After an enthusiastic celebration of Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, we cool down with a few rounds of Roman Mouthwash.


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    1 hr 1 min

About Warped

From the publisher's feed

On this show, join Matt, Shawn, and friends as they make their way through every Star Trek episode ever aired - IN ORDER - and listen to a unique audio commentary track that can be enjoyed…