Watch What Crappens

The Queen of Versailles herself, Jackie Siegel, charters our plucky "Below Deck: Mediterranean" yachties for holiday of blow-up dolls, elevator requests, and hiking. Lots and lots of hiking. Plus, we meet the new stew June!

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There's a Housewives Hoedown on "The Real Housewives of Potomac" as the group reels from sexual assault allegations leveled at Michael. Pretty much everyone winds up fighting — except Katie, who just sticks to awkward toasts.

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Part 1 of the "Real Housewives of New York" reunion is fiery as usual, with Dorinda and Luann hashing out a year's worth of fighting on Andy Cohen's stage. It looks like the two will finally be able to move forward... until next week.

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Just when you thought it was safe to go skeet shooting at a plantation with a problematic past, Ashley makes her triumphant return to "Southern Charm" — this time with a silly hat! She's just as bonkers as always, which is to say VERY bonkers. As Lil Jon would say, skeet skeet skeet mother effers!

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"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" wraps up its emotionally charged ninth season with a deus ex machina performance from Camille Grammer, who storms the Agency party like Daenerys Targaryen on a bad day. Yes, the season one monster is back, and we are soooo ready for it.

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It's epi one thousand! We celebrate with a revist to our old Clear the Flem segment. Then, a terrible music video is made on Below Deck Med and Captain Sandy and the crew become Fly Girls for it. Will anyone break a tailbone? Will Anastasia be promoted to full time chef? Will Joao be able to continue his streak of behaving like a non sexist misogynist pig? Let's see!
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***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com!
**Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com

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Barry pulls off his fashion show on this week's Southern Charm New Orleans, and Jeff celebrates by getting drunk and running away. Again.
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***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com!
**Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Atlanta, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com

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Ashley and Candiace have it out about Michael wanting to suck a d on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac, but it doesn't stop Ashley from descending on gay pride to scream about her husband not having said pride himself.
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***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com!
**Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com

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This week on "Below Deck Mediterranean," Mila learns she can't have her pancake and eat it too. Plus, we weigh in on this past weekend's "Vanderpump Rules" wedding of the century!

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Reagan has more bombshells for the group on "Southern Charm: New Orleans," and as punishment, Rachel makes her hold eggs for 3 hours. Plus, Kelsey's housewarming party is the perfect opportunity for Jeff to get drunk and slowly meltdown. We're into it.

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