We Fix The League

BANTER: Andre eats dinner and we talk about movies. An uninformed conversation about the FDA.

(23:32) Headline of the week: Ron Rivera says Mountain Dew and Taco Bell helped him get through cancer treatment. What’s your taco bell order? We end up talking about food fads and cryptocurrency.

(49:32) WE FIX THE LEAGUE PRESENTS: TANK BOWL!!!!!!!

We’ve alluded to it before, but here it is: the OFFICIAL rules for the TANK BOWL. Mediocre teams are incentivized to lose to get a better draft pick...but no more! Free BONUS championship included.

(1:27:00) QUICK HITS

-Follow the money, Sheeple: Tyrod Taylor did NOT file a grievance against the doctor that punctured his lung.

-Are the Pittsburgh Steelers DONE?

-Spicy Takes of the Week

BANTER: We consider rebranding 700 times and talk a bit o' politics. WFTL

BOOK CLUB: "Range" by David Epstein has convinced us that nobody knows anything and you should quit your job to be like Roger Federer. ONLY

STORYLINE OF THE WEEK: In a series of mishaps usually reserved for the silent film era, the Broncos didn't have a quarterback for Sunday's game.

FOOTBALL SUCKS: Why does football kinda suck this year? The pals dive in to some theories.

SPICY TAKES OF THE WEEK: Pretty spicy.

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It's Thanksgiving, we ain't doing no show notes! We Talk NFL sillies and Thanksgiving sillies over the din of a packed Bakersfield, CA Buffalo Wild Wings

Banter: We talk social media marketing, institutional racism, and education reform. Y’know, fun stuff.

(22:56) NBA Draft. Dan gives his #1 reason the NBA draft is more awkward than the NFL draft.

(35:25) We found a conversation online about taking shrooms during the NFL draft and it’s bonkers.

(49:53) HAIL MURRAY! Cardinals over Bills. We properly assign Catholic prayers to football plays. Is DeAndre Hopkins having a career year? Checking in on the red hot NFC West.

(1:10:06) Lions defeat the Football Team and boy was it Lionsy. NFC East check-in including a coach getting fired for being in a fistfight and being replaced by an all-name team contender. We Fix the League introduces “Mutiny Friday.” 

(1:35:00) Denver is bad, which is good!

(1:47:25) Are the Baltimore Ravens DONE?

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BANTER: Discussing technology, parenting, Oklahoma City, and BEES.

(13:33) Trevor Lawrence might go to the Jets and it sucks. Let’s send him somewhere cool. We discuss how to make the league more star-centric by forming the “QB Assignment Council.” Also QBs should get to pick their team’s name.

(37:43) Talking about the labor rights of quarterbacks leads us to dip into our politics and social justice for a bit. “Still the Internet’s #1 Apolitical Socialist Sports Show.”

(52:47) Steelers/Cowboys: We cannot, SHALL not, allow our players to stifle the celebrations of our other players.

(56:52) Raiders/Chargers: Sorry Donald. Return of “Cool Pal Look of the Week.”

(59:48) Dolphins/Cardinals: Kyler, Lefty, and Prideful Nuggets

(1:07:49) Panthers/Chiefs: Teddy Bridgewater with the jump of the season. And the Chiefs still win.

(1:15:00) Broncos/Falcons: Jerry Jeudy with the fake of the week. He’s good.

(1:16:57) Tompa Bay / Drew Orleans: Are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers DONE?

(1:22:51) Spicy Takes of the Week. 

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Dan and Andre talk politics. What’s going on in America? What should our political goals and values be? What can we do to contribute to this immense project? We really laid our hearts and minds out in the open here and we hope what we said resonates with someone. Let us know what you agree or disagree with on twitter: @andrepegeron and @danielofconnell.

(1:10:50) The football talk starts.

Trade deadline: Basically nobody got traded, so the pals talk about the trades that SHOULD have happened. Dan suggests an intricate Houston-Chicago trade and Andre muses about how we could encourage good QBs on bad teams to find greener pastures with a system called “We Fix The League: Break in Case of Trade Emergency.”

(1:34:37) Week 8 Breakdown

Ravens-Steelers: How legit is Lamar? Steelers defense looks great. 

(1:56:03) To close out the show: Are the Bears done? (The Bears are done) followed by spicy takes of the week.

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Up top, we mainly just talk about IKEA furniture. Skol!

(7:41) Monday Night Football - Rams/Bears

(26:39) Sunday Night Football - Seahawks/Cardinals

(42:49) Finish of the Week - Lions/Falcons

(1:10:45) Ohio’s Game of the Week - Browns/Bengals

(1:13:03) Thursday Night Football - Eagles/Giants

Quick Hits

(1:27:57) Spicy Takes of the Week

Shout outs

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Intro banter: Yawns, CPR, the Beegees, 1980’s music, Grand Theft Auto.

(11:36) The “Other Sports Minute:” Dan teaches Andre what happened in the NBA. Jordan vs Lebron as the GOAT in the context of American exceptionalism & labor practices.

Onto football!

(25:58) COVID/Browns talk: OBJ says, “I don’t think COVID can get to me. I don’t think it’s going to enter this body. I don’t want no parts of it, it don’t want no parts of me. It’s a mutual respect.” As responsible sports journalists, we refuse to provide context.

(34:45) NFC East: Is it a competitive advantage to be in this terrible division where you only have to play against terrible teams? We discuss these teams, including the Cowboys whose season has come off the rails even though it started off the rails.

(46:47) What’s the worst team from another division that would win the NFC East? We talk about several mediocre teams that could be imaginary division champs. 

(52:34) It’s Tua time, baby! Is he the most likeable Alabama player in the league? A “see you later” to Ryan Fitzpatrick and revisiting the Fitzpatrick gauntlet.

(1:03:55) We actually talk about good teams! Just like the Chiefs last week, the Packers are DONE! (Just in case. You heard it here first.)

Quick Hits:

(1:09:00) Stefon Diggs is hilarious.

(1:12:28) Fantasy Talk: An interesting development in Andre’s fantasy league requires a strange punishment. 

(1:14:52) Salute to Service: Noted leftist activists Troy Aikman and Joe Buck make their stand.

(1:20:15) Spicy Takes of the Week: The pals keep gettin’ spicy.

Hey pals! In addition to catching our podcast here in your feed, you can watch us record it LIVE on Tuesdays at 7pm at http://twitch.tv/wefixtheleague. Time subject to change - check the twitch feed for more info.

INTRO BANTER: We talk about how we are going to punish our children, “the fruit minute,” and toaster regulations/oppression.

(19:00) The Titans had an outbreak and then practiced at a middle school. The NFL seems woefully unprepared for this thing that’s been going on since March. Our segment “The COVID-19 Shadow Council” looks at what would happen if the owners turned full villain.

(33:15) What if the Chicago Bears were real bears? What if all the teams were like this? Who would win the championship?

(40:00) Melvin Gordon preserves the Wisconsin spirit through reckless endangerment. Use code “dontgetaduiyoudumbrichperson” for 10% off your next lyft ride. Vote “NO” on California prop 22.

(45:50) Guaranteed Money talk. Leveon Bell gets fired and paid $24m, Dak gets injured and loses tens of millions. What is a league to do? Maybe start the no-cleats league?

(56:20) Mr. Unlimited keeps on winning. Russ for MVP? We pat ourselves on the back for predicting the Vikings collapse. In our bad coaching roundup, does Dan Quinn deserve any credit for the legion of boom? And there’s hope for the Lions, but do Lions fans want hope?

(1:05:00) Just in case: We are here to tell you that the Chiefs dynasty is OVER. But if not, nobody will remember this anyway. So we’re saying it just in case.

(1:08:12) NFL brings back the 90’s! Josh Allen and Justin Herbert are showing us that big is back!

(1:15:06) Headline of the Week: “Patriots Teammate’s Annoyed Wife Denies Cam Newton Dinner.” This headline makes no sense. Andre and Dan try to parse it. A friendly invitation? A weird cucking thing? Who knows.

(1:20:31) Spicy Takes of the Week: GET READY FOR YOUR SPICY TAKES.

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Week 4 Football Chat! Welcome back, Dan!

Intro Banter: We talk other sports and how to fix them. We make up some new ones along the way.

(16:46) We talk COVID outbreak. We talk about how the greedy owners will keep the season going no matter what, including the kind of bold and innovative solutions cha boys are known for.

(27:52) Lotta garbage teams! Aaron Rodgers yells “hard count” while decimating the Falcons and we apply this to other sports.

(38:59) Joe Burrow vs Gardner Minshew in the “likea-bowl.” The Jags kicker has an insane tattoo and we brainstorm other insane tattoos.

(59:42) RIP The Bill O’Brien era, we look at the most memorable moments and they’re all bad. Is it good to fire your head coach early?

(1:12:00) The Lions lose in a new way every week. Patricia “had a lot of work to do” and that’s BS.

(1:16:22) Dan’s Broncos beat the Jets and he gives the state of fandom, namely that he’s given up on the decade. Do the Jets stick with Darnold?

(1:25:00) Colts-Bears was an all-time disaster. We fix “highlight video length.”

(1:30:05) Trey Lance, Josh Allen, and the fable of tall QBs. John Elway is licking his chops listening to this.

(1:38:00) “Spiciest take of the week” -- if we’re right, listen back to this and we’ll sound like frickin’ geniuses.

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Follow us on Twitter: @andrepegeron @danielofconnell