We Gauge Cage

War! Huh! Yeah? What is it good for? Apparently driving backdoor illegal arms deals so that Nic can play a character named Yuri. Or absolutely nothing. 

Or at least that's what the 2005 film Lord of War starring Nicolas Cage and Jared Leto would have us believe. It's a voice-over film about gun-runnin'. Hoo-wee! Not much more to discuss. 

A perfect episode to discuss our beautiful, accomplished, prodigious daughters. To celebrate Charley's latest accomplishments. A perfect opportunity for Brock to talk about the other films he's seen recently, like Booksmart (recommend it!) and Aladdin (recommend it! Big Willy Style all in it!). And Brock keeps fartin' with the Nic Cage pillow!

Let's rip into it. 

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Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

I-i-i watched part of The Rock last ni-i-ight. And part of it the next day!

They can't all be winners, ladies and gentlemen. But the real winners this week were our boys, because they got to complete the Nic Cage Action Triptych by watching The Rock. In the name of the Con-Air, the Face/Off, the Rock...Awww-yeah! Amiright?!? I think I'm right! You got Sean Connery. You got Ed Harris. You got the titular Rock. (Not THAT Rock. The Alcatraz Rock.) You wanted action? We got some action. And then also Nic Cage is a scientist. Again. Because that's something that...somebody thought would work?

Anywho, before all that, the men talk about what it takes to be a grill master vs. a grill poser. They say hi to the fam. They wish a very, very special someone a happy birthday! They talk doughnuts. That's right! Nuts of dough! Deal with it! And they play tour guide through the lovely little town of Crandon, Wisconsin, USA. 

All of that in one episode?!? You betcha!

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

'Cause he's all in my head. I think about Nic over and over again. And I can't keep stop picturing you with him. And I can't take it. I can't shake it, no. 

I remember the day you recorded. I remember the last film you watched right in front of me. 
And that last film, this last week, was 1987's Coen Brothers classic comedy of errors "Raising Arizona." Holly Hunter, Nic Cage, a baby...Sounds like a recipe for some hijinks, if you ask me!

Before all that, da boiz talk about day weekends. Brian gets real real personal. And Brock develops a problematic plan to fight back against robo-callers. 

Cheers, y'all!

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Don't do those face waterfalls. Just stick to the same hugs and the kisses you're used to. I know that you're going to swap your faces and voices and all, but I think you're moving too fast...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! If the phrase "face waterfall" didn't give it away (or, you know, the title of the episode), the two lovable lads got to watch Nic Cage's 1997 smash hit "Face/Off." One Nic Cage (well at one point, there's actually technically two Nic Cages...look, it's only confusing if YOU make it confusing)! One John Travolta! One mind-bending, face-popping surgery! At least a dozen slow-motion mid-air shooting dives! Like, 20 doves! This movie has it all!

Before all that, we talk about the drunken mess that the last episode turned out to be, we get a Gripe Sesh featuring everyone's favorite coworker, and we get a visit from the official third cohost of the podcast. 

Bon apetit, my little peaches. 

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Blame it on the juice. Got you feelin' loose. Blame it on the 'tron. Got you in the zone. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. 

Blame it all on Nic Cage. He's the reason we're over 70 episodes deep, watching a surprisingly competent con man film from 2003 called "Matchstick Men." Nic takes a couple of behavioral disorders for a spin, accompanied by Sam Rockwell and an actress whom shall lovingly be referred to as "not-Egg." (Where my Arrested Development fans at?)

Anywho, this one gets...wild. I mean. A little wild. Call it senioritis. Call it "phoning it in." (Though, in reality, it's more like "Skyping it in.") Call it getting drunk. Either way, the boys re-rank their latest ten films, they open their chests, rip out their still-beating hearts, and toss them on a platter for you all to enjoy, and they tell the infamous "Hershey" story. 

Woof. 

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

You down with Matt Modine? Yeah, you know me. You down with Nic Cagey? Every last homie. You down with ol' Birdy? Yeah, you know me. Who down with this movie? All the homies!

I'll be straight with ya, folks. This one got weird. And I don't mean like, "man attempting intercourse on a small bird" weird. But it got weird nonetheless. In perhaps the most incoherent and tangential attempt at a podcast to date, the boys scrounged together enough attention for Nic's 1984 VIETNAM WAR FILM "Birdy" that is totally about the Vietnam War and totally a war movie and not about anything else at all. For sure. Like, totally. 

Before, around, throughout, and after all that, the boys play a few games, have a few drafts, Brock stuffs his face (naturally), they talk fatherhood and take care of their daddy duties (and doodies), and one of the boys ends up baring far more than just his soul (but also that too. Probably.) 

Good luck!

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Papa don't preach. We're in trouble deep. Papa don't preach. We've been losing sleep. But we've made up our minds. We're watching Nic's movie. Ooh-ooh we're going to watch this movie, ooOOooh....

The boys are back! Did you miss them?!? Did you even know they were gone? Did you realize that it has been weeks since they've sat down and recorded last? Fresh off the heels of the worst possible movie that Nic has ever made, this week Brian and Brock got a palette cleanser in the 2013 animated movie "The Croods." A start-studded voice cast, beautiful visuals, and a tight plot? Just what the doctor ordered!

Before all that, these Easter-stuffed sugar daddies have a little announcement to make....the moment you've all been waiting for...the culmination of weeks/months of build up...the declaration of the 100-Day Weight Loss Challenge Winner!!! Brock has some other minor news, the boys try to break their Raw Dawg record on the anniversary of the previous challenge, and they try to get a little sentimental.

It's a fun one. Enjoy!

Find us on Social Media, if you're so inclined:
Twitter: @WeGaugeCage
Instagram: @WeGaugeCagePod
And Rate/Review us on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, or anywhere else you find us. Thank you!

Shot Wild at Heart! And David Lynch is to blame! He gives films a bad name...

But seriously, folks. We've joked in the past about quitting the podcast. We've made false threats about hanging up our Nic Cage-watching boots and cashing in all of our good favors and riding off into the sunset as free men. We should have gotten out while the gettin' was good. 
Because Brock and Brian - wait, let me start over... - Because Brian FORCED Brock to scour the depths of the Dark Web for this absolutely rotten piece of avant-garbage excuse for an art crime film and watch it for this podcast. Because we love our fans? This one sucked, ladies and gentlemen. This one really sucked. And in case you may be thinking, "Oh, it can't possibly be that bad." - it was worse. Trust us. 

Anywho, before all that, the boys give a behind-the-scenes peak at how the sausage is made, they hear wedding bells for Nic (mazelt-oh wait it's annulled already!), and we check in on how Old Man Ambrosius is handling this newfangled technology in another exciting edition of Brian's Gripe Corner! 

Let's get into it! If you dare...

Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:

Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod

Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system (You could always text. You never text anymore! And call your mother while you're at it. She'd love to hear from you.) if you can or haven't already.

Ah yes, the year 1987. "Walk Like An Egyptian" topped the charts, Ronald Reagan was president, and your two favorite podcast hosts were finally born after months of anticipation! Who would've guessed that over 30 years later they'd spend literally hundreds of hours analyzing every film of one Nicolas Cage, including the 1987 hit "Moonstruck," starring not only Nicolas Cage, but also a surprisingly good performance from Cher. But we're not here to gauge Cher, because, come on...that doesn't even rhyme. We're here to gauge Cage!

But before we do, Brian takes a minute to go full Dad mode and complain about his new phone, we get a Baby Kircher update, Brock continues his pursuit of making Brian cry by trying to get him to watch the new Queer Eye TV show, and Brian ruins his beautiful podcasting voice by trying to pull off the perfect imitation of his coworker. Magnifico!

Find us on Social Media, if you amore us:
Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod
Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And rate and review us on the Apple Podcast App, Google Play, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasting fix. Ciao!

Uh wicky wild wild. Wicky wild wild. Wicky Red Rock West. Nic West. Desperado. Rough Rida. No you don’t want nada. 
None of this. Six gun in this. Nic Cage runnin’ this. 

But I’ll tell you what you DO want! You want to hear about the time Brian and Brock plopped down around the ol’ campfire and watched them some Red Rock West. Nic Cage, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dennis Hopper. A classic who-dunnit mix-em-up crime caper with guns and money and...cars with empty gas tanks, I guess? 

Before all that, let’s get one thing out of the way. This is the porn episode (not a sponsor). It’s NSFW. It’s NSFA, really. Good luck with this one. #NoShame 

Find us on Social Media, if you’re so inclined. 
Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePod
Instagram: @WeGaugeCage

And tell us what you think of you can find the reviews, you cowards. (Also, good on you for reading this far. Nerds...)