We Read Movies

We Read Movies

By We Read MoviesSexuality
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We Read Movies episodes

  • Boy Culture: Generation X

    This week, we watched the sequel, 20 years in the making, to Q Allen Brocka's film Boy Culture, about a very sex-negative prostitute who bums everyone around him out. After raising money on Kickstarter to produce a star-studded TV series about the continuing adventures of everyone's least favorite escort, eventually we got this movie made up of the 6 episodes they actually filmed slapped together with no continuing story or any of the promised stars. Was it worth the wait? Let's find out!

    Topics discussed:

    1. Pretending to be straight to get on competition shows
    2. The men-who-will-have-sex-for-money capital of the world
    3. Tricking tops into bottoming, with rhetoric
    4. Tricking escorts into saying the n-word, with rhetoric
    5. Hammer Jack and Tiger Bolt vs. Professor Trenchbottom of the Impenetrable Deep

      6. We Read Movies

      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

      1 hr 10 min
    6. Henry Gamble's Birthday Party

      This week, we watched the coming of age teen movie Henry Gamble's Birthday Party, about the most terrible pool party you've ever imagined. Dark secrets about your mom's sex life, casual racism, self-harm, and worst of all a guy playing the guitar. Can Steve from Stranger Things jerking off into a sock save it? Let's find out!

      Topics discussed:

      1. Free-use porn
      2. Being prayed up
      3. Your cousin's brother
      4. Holy ghost poops
      5. Pool safety

        6. We Read Movies

        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

        1 hr 30 min
      6. Codename: Dynastud

        This week, not to spoil things too much, but we watched the actually very fun superhero/spy comedy/thriller Codename: Dynastud. In the distant dystopian future of 2024, being gay is illegal, and only one man can save us, the magical spy codenamed (by himself, so more what we'd call a "nickname") Dynastud. Featuring head-exploding jizz, evil gay robots, and a Canadian space station, we had an absolute blast talking about this movie. And not just the kind of blast that involves exploding a guy's head with magic space jizz

        Topics discussed:

        1. Batman's code of ethics
        2. Green Lantern's dumb weaknesses
        3. An even weirder comic book
        4. B. Kliban Cats
        5. How many heads can you "accidentally" explode with your cum before you're considered a murderer

          6. Links mentioned in this episode:

          • https://www.pomegranate.com/collections/b-kliban?srsltid=AfmBOoqEFA5NL_lty1C_PYfg-f3fEgHN1ltKfc9chq4N4MfSt-sClTuH

            • We Read Movies

            This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

            1 hr 24 min
          • Birder

            This week, we watched the only somewhat incomprehensible 2023 thriller (?) Birder, which is described on IMDb as being about a "bird watcher who invades a nude queer campground in New Hampshire, ensnaring locals with his dark fetish." What is this dark fetish? Is it bird watching? Let's find out!

            Topics discussed:

            1. Gangbangs made up of emojis
            2. Choking people
            3. Dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks
            4. AI pokemon erotica
            5. The New York dating scene

              6. We Read Movies

              This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

              1 hr 25 min
            6. Emilia Perez

              We're back! This week, we watched the Academy-beloved, audience-disliked 2024 movie Emilia Perez. Does the Spanish-language musical about a trans Mexican druglord in hold up, even though it was made by a cis French director who chose to learn nothing about trans people, about Mexico, or even to learn how to speak Spanish? Let's find out!

              Topics discussed:

              1. The problems with Mexican kidnapping codes
              2. Why can no one in this musical sing?
              3. David Cronenberg's Crash
              4. How to know you're the bad guy

                5. We Read Movies

                This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                1 hr 21 min
              5. The Little Hours (with Tyler Mead)

                This week, we had special guest Tyler Mead on to talk about the 2017 comedy (mostly?) The Little Hours. Based on one story from The Decamaron (apparently. We've certainly never read it), it's a mostly improvved story where Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie and Kate Micucci play foul-mouthed, horny nuns and they're all at least a little bit queer too. So what's not to love?

                Topics discussed:

                1. Nick and Vanessa Lachey belong in jail
                2. Reading is fundamental and we wish we could do it
                3. Glicked
                4. Non-English speakers in movies always have English accents

                  5. Links mentioned in this episode:

                  • https://www.tylerhmead.com/

                    • We Read Movies

                    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                    1 hr 18 min
                  • Pitchfork

                    We're back! After a long hiatus while Chris moved across country, we're officially in full swing again, and bringing you a talk about the 2016 slasher (stabber? poker?) Pitchfork, about a group of teens being hunted by a man with a pitchfork for a hand for... reason?

                    Topics discussed:

                    1. Murderous little girls
                    2. Straight ads in front of gay porn
                    3. Goat Story
                    4. Cow tipping
                    5. What would Freud think of this movie?

                      6. We Read Movies

                      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                      1 hr 24 min
                    6. Vampires: Brighter in Darkness

                      After a brief hiatus, we're back, with the truly amazing bad movie Vampires: Brighter in Darkness. Vampires are real, y'all, and they're all gay, obviously. But otherwise they're not at all like the vampires you're used to. They can summon demon scorpions, and teleport, and hitch rides on the backs of airplanes, but mostly they just hiss at each other. They hiss so much.

                      Topics discussed:

                      1. Glen Powell's cannibalism story
                      2. What to do with $10 million
                      3. Pokemon again
                      4. AFI's hit song Miss Murder
                      5. Vampires, what are they exactly?

                        6. We Read Movies

                        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                        1 hr 52 min
                      6. Brooklyn Bizarre

                        This week, we watched the not-really-a-movie movie Brooklyn Bizarre. It's 80-90% montages of upsetting weirdo burlesque performances, and then there's a completely unexplained murder at the end, but join us as Eric tries to convince us that it actually means something.

                        Topics discussed:

                        1. What exactly is burlesque?
                        2. Chris describes a very short porno
                        3. Mumblecore movies that pretend they're gay movies
                        4. Russian accents
                        5. What exactly is a metaphor?

                          6. We Read Movies

                          This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                          1 hr 14 min
                        6. Departing Seniors

                          This week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head that almost kills him actually gives him psychic powers, which he can use to see the future. He then uses that power to save his bullies (who, you may remember, just pushed him down the stairs) from a vengeful serial killer, it's unclear why, tbh

                          Topics discussed:

                          1. The 3 Body Problem is kind of a dumb show
                          2. But so are a lot of shows we like
                          3. Other movies that have psychic powers in them
                          4. Bad hair
                          5. Never forget that, in the comic books, Thanos wants to make love to a skeleton

                            6. We Read Movies

                            This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                            1 hr 32 min

                          About We Read Movies

                          From the publisher's feed

                          There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just…