We Read Movies

We Read Movies

By We Read MoviesSexuality
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We Read Movies episodes

  • I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

    This week, for the podcast's three-year birthday, after threatening to do it for so long, we decided to torture ourselves by watching the Kevin James and Adam Sandler movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. That's right we sat through every minute of this TWO HOUR LONG movie (that's about an hour and a half of fat jokes) so that you don't have to.

    CONTENT WARNING: This movie uses sexual assault as a punchline a lot, and we discuss the movie doing that.

    Topics discussed:

    1. The many better scripts of Alexander Payne
    2. What's the deal with Nick Swardson?
    3. Fellas, is it gay to have good hip flexibility?

      4. We Read Movies

      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

      1 hr 36 min
    4. Knock at the Cabin

      This week, we watched the very recent M. Night Shyamalan movie Knock At the Cabin. Ostensibly a movie with gay main characters, and we don't want to spoil the twist for you, but it ends up being quite possibly the most offensive movie we've ever seen, both because it's actually offensive and because it's deeply boring, but man does it make plane crashes funny.

      Topics discussed:

      1. A brand new JFK assassination theory
      2. The binding of isaac (the story, not the game, although the game's rad)
      3. How do helicopters work?
      4. The god of the bible is a pretty evil dude (or lady)
      5. Chris is gonna get Eric to watch Supernatural somehow

        6. We Read Movies

        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

        1 hr 31 min
      6. Eating Out: Drama Camp

        This week, we invited our good friends Mike and Kyle back to watch the fourth and most excruciating of the Eating Out movies: Drama Camp. A camp of queer people out in the woods, secret identities, bizarre rules against sex? It sounds like the hit Kevin Bacon movie They/Them, but no, the only thing this movie slashed was our free time. Come join us for the Q. Allan Brocka movie that made us say "you know, now that I think about it, the second one wasn't that bad."

        Topics discussed:

        1. Straight scholarships
        2. Chloë Sevigny
        3. Shakespearean adaptations
        4. What if cuckold porn followed the biological definition of the word?

          5. Links mentioned in this episode:

          • https://www.gayishpodcast.com/

            • We Read Movies

            This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

            1 hr 29 min
          • Too Much Sun

            This week, we watched the 1990 Eric Idle, Andrea Martin, Robert Downey Jr., and Ralph Macchio movie Too Much Sun. After a murdered millionaire's will stipulates that one of his gay children will have to produce a child of their own, they'll have to engage in some wacky farcical adventures to get their inheritance. Will they succeed? Does Eric Idle play gay offensively? Is Robert Downey Jr on coke for the whole movie? Does a gay guy do oral on a woman? Let's find out!

            Topics discussed:

            1. Sex with a ghost
            2. Sex with a virgin
            3. We used to think gloryholes existed
            4. Why did women find Michael Douglas attractive?
            5. How much money would it take for you to have sex with a woman?

              6. We Read Movies

              This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

              1 hr 43 min
            6. Socket

              This week, we watched the very strange and David Cronenberg-ian 2007 movie Socket. After he's struck by lightning and develops electricity vampire powers, a doctor joins up with a group of other electricity vampires for a party-and-play metaphor that ends in multiple murders. Does it make sense? Not really. Does it involve some plug and socket-related body horror? You better believe it does.

              Topics discussed:

              1. Butt-Chugging
              2. Chris describes a porno
              3. Underwear designed for people with small butts
              4. Porn parodies

                5. We Read Movies

                This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                1 hr 20 min
              5. Dashing in December

                This week, we're late in discussing the Hallmark original Christmas movie Dashing in December. It's your standard Hallmark fare, guy from the big city tries to shut down the struggling horse ranch his mom (Andie MacDowell) owns, only to fall in love with her employee. We know, we know, we meant to do it before Christmas, but stuff happened.

                Topics discussed:

                1. The movie Hot to Trot
                2. The Hallmark/Great American Family feud
                3. Gender neutral names
                4. CEOs on coke

                  5. Links mentioned in this episode:

                  http://www.bigdickbonerpills.com

                  We Read Movies

                  This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                  1 hr 19 min
                5. Kiss Me Deadly

                  This week, we watched the Shannen Doherty and Robert Gant gay spy thriller Kiss Me Deadly, produced for Here TV. Well, one of us did. The other two watched a straight-washed recut of this movie aired at appearing on other networks, and it takes us a really long time to figure out that we watched basically a different movie.

                  Topics discussed:

                  1. Eric is finally finished with Charmed
                  2. Why do people think allergies aren't real?
                  3. What exactly IS amnesia?
                  4. Everything should be part of the Kenny Kwon-iverse

                    5. We Read Movies

                    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                    1 hr 42 min
                  5. A Wedding Most Strange

                    This week, we talked for a solid three and a half hours about the 85 minute long movie A Wedding Most Strange, and then Chris painstakingly took out a bunch of weird tangents to cut it down to the length it is now. The movie was so very deeply and maniacally weird that it just broke our brains. Listen along to our descent into madness

                    Topics discussed:

                    1. Charmed
                    2. Cushion Fluffing
                    3. What we remember about Friends
                    4. Drag queens with the worst fashions
                    5. What if this movie starred the lead singer of The Cure?

                      6. We Read Movies

                      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                      1 hr 43 min
                    6. My Fake Boyfriend

                      This week, we watched the recent Buzzfeed Productions movie My Fake Boyfriend, an incoherent tale of what happens when you make a fake boyfriend for social media, but afterwards realize you want to be with a handsome chef whose arms are muscular beyond belief. Also, it asks the very important question, is there such a thing as a celebrity stunt man?

                      Topics discussed:

                      1. The suspicious death of Swedish economist Dag Hammarskjöld
                      2. Homemade soup
                      3. How to tell your mom you're just "regular gay" without disappointing her
                      4. Edibles are no joke y'all

                        5. We Read Movies

                        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                        1 hr 31 min
                      5. Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

                        It's every gay's favorite holiday, Halloween! So to get into the spooky spirit we watched the not-explicitly-gay-but-oh-so-gay horror movie Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Featuring several naked male butts, a very sexual shower death, and rubber play sheets, this is perhaps the gayest movie we've ever done.

                        Topics discussed:

                        1. What does Freddy Kruger's dick look like?
                        2. Birds are a weird pet to have
                        3. What exactly are Pokemon?
                        4. The sweatiest people in Hollywood

                          5. We Read Movies

                          This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                          1 hr 25 min

                        About We Read Movies

                        From the publisher's feed

                        There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just…