We Read Movies

We Read Movies

By We Read MoviesSexuality
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We Read Movies episodes

  • The Christmas Setup

    This week, we watched the 2020 Lifetime movie,The Christmas Setup. When an overbearing mother (Fran Drescher) sets her son up with a handsome millionaire computer genius who invented an app that can tell the future, he's initially annoyed. But soon he comes to realize that this guy is actually kind of a catch. Also they save an abandoned train station that's in danger of being torn down to make room for something that would actually help people.

    Topics discussed:

    1. NIMBY-ism
    2. Nancy Reagan's unparallelled throat game
    3. Chris's ex wrote a song praising his butt
    4. Drew's mother hasn't seen a movie since 1988
    5. Eric has a lot of opinions about sandwiches

      6. We Read Movies

      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

      1 hr 10 min
    6. Everything is Free

      This week, we talked about the 2017 movie Everything is Free. When Ivan, an American painter living in Colombia, is visited by his straight best friend, Cole, and Cole's supposedly straight younger brother, Christian, Ivan and Christian start confusingly falling in love. Also they meet a cult leader who worms his way into their house, but that doesn't really matter to the plot that much.

      Topics discussed:

      1. "Do you make me horny?"
      2. Sex sounds
      3. Chris names some nu metal bands he knows
      4. Spit as lube
      5. We used to think straight people existed
      6. The Twilight Zone

        7. We Read Movies

        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

        1 hr 15 min
      7. On the Other Hand Death

        This week, we watched the third in the Donald Strachey mystery movies, On the Other Hand Death. When a greedy land developer plans to do something confusingly illegal, it's up to the world's greatest gay detective Donald Strachey to save a lesbian couple from being run out of town. Can he solve the case, or will they have to move to Vermont and open up a B&B (which is their actual plan)?

        Topics discussed:

        1. Love dice
        2. A Libertarian Christmas Carol
        3. Why do elephants have trunks and not tentacles?
        4. How does Kel feel about Keenan's success?
        5. Stephen King books are weird

          6. We Read Movies

          This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

          1 hr 7 min
        6. Homewrecker

          This week, we talked about the 2009 movie Homewrecker, a movie where the cover prominently advertises that it features Tiffany from the Eating Out Series. When a wannabe actor infiltrates the home of two gay tv producers, he'll do everything he can to be in their next show, including a very convoluted and incoherent plot to break them up or something. Can they thwart his evil advances? Can they finish the concept for their new reality show? Will Tiffany actually make an appearance? Let's find out!

          Topics discussed:

          1. Tubi ads
          2. Who likes ribbed condoms?
          3. Having sex through a hole in a sheet
          4. What is a reality show?
          5. Let's all hate on James Corden a little
          6. We body shame people more attractive than us

            7. We Read Movies

            This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

            1 hr 24 min
          7. Cthulhu

            This week, we watched the 2007 film Cthulhu, a very loose gay retelling of the HP Lovecraft story,The Shadow Over Innsmouth. With an ambitious story, over the top acting, some truly terrible wigs and Tori Spelling, how could it not be great?

            Topics discussed:

            1. Boxes full of hands
            2. How many babies could you beat up?
            3. More sexy Pokemon
            4. The Cult of The Jerk Shack
            5. Chris read the book and he's not gonna shut up about it
            6. Spoilers, but Cthulhu never shows up

              7. We Read Movies

              This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

              1 hr 25 min
            7. Spiral

              This week, getting in the Halloween spirit early, we watched the 2019 horror movie Spiral. When a former club kid (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) moves to the suburbs with his wet blanket husband, he uncovers a cult that plans to use homophobia to live forever. Also he meets a ghost who hands him some video tapes that explain the whole plot but that he refuses to watch.

              Topics discussed:

              1. Gay Knockoff Transformers
              2. The strange racket that is Neapolitan pizza
              3. Butthole bleaching
                4. 4 What do straight people like?
                5 Rob Ford
                6 #WhoIsTheGuyOnTheBridge

                Links mentioned in this episode:

                • https://external-preview.redd.it/dNIPNmzS6rv35wISMmLVTYqIcaDmI4rzlzLjbz8kb60.jpg?auto=webp&s=f01a322eaa2eb46d072c0db36223d486f4a735b8

                  • We Read Movies

                  This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                  1 hr 20 min
                • Angels With Tethered Wings

                  This week, we watched the soft core porn pretending to be an actual movie Angels With Tethered Wings. When twink porn stars Grant and Timmy are murdered, they come back as zombies for revenge. And also there's a missing briefcase full of money, and an undercover mob boss, and a gravedigger who has sex with corpses, and a million flashbacks. This movie is impossible to explain, so listen to us stumble around trying to for a long time!

                  Topics discussed:

                  1. Drew's top ten nuts
                  2. Where do Cenobites come from?
                  3. Vagina keys
                  4. The differences between zombies and angels
                  5. Nanny McPhee
                  6. Fantasia

                    7. We Read Movies

                    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                    1 hr 26 min
                  7. Boy Culture

                    This week, because the long awaited sequel series is supposed to be coming out any day now, we talked about the 2006 film Boy Culture. Set in our hometown of Seattle, the film centers around X, an $5000/hr male prostitute who slut shames his friends, is casually racist and generally sucks. Can he find love with his roommate, even though he doesn't deserve it? Let's find out!

                    Topics discussed:

                    1. Ghost nut
                    2. The economics of extremely high-end escorts
                    3. Commercials about pooping
                    4. Being sexually aroused by tragedy
                    5. Seattle businesses that don't exist anymore
                    6. A tight five on Mr Peanut
                    7. What if McGruff the Crime Dog teamed up with a bird to solve murders?

                      8. We Read Movies

                      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                      1 hr 22 min
                    8. Steam Room Stories: The Movie

                      This week, we watched the 2019 movie Steam Room Stories: The Movie, based on the long running queerbait-y web series of the same name. When an evil cosmetics mogul (Tracy Lords) tries to take over a steam room that's also the legendary Fountain of Youth, it's up to five studs, as stupid as they are sexy, to save the day.

                      Topics discussed:

                      1. Boys Gone Wild
                      2. The "good" part of the dick
                      3. Wet t-shirt contests
                      4. Comedy
                      5. Porn parody names

                        6. We Read Movies

                        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                        1 hr 29 min
                      6. Somefarwhere

                        Everyone, this week's episode was tough on all of us. This movie doesn't make a bit of sense, and Eric may never forgive us for making him watch it. We watched the 2011 movie Somefarwhere, about a guy who goes to an unnamed Middle Eastern country to rescue his army boyfriend, and along the way gets tangled up in a plot not even the writer/director understands. Come along with us on this journey, but don't expect to understand it any better than we do

                        Topics discussed:

                        1. The Iraq-Pakistan border
                      7. Terrible stand-up comedy
                      8. Trying to intimidate someone in a room equipped with a clapper
                      9. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service
                      10. The shocker
                      11. Everyone go watch the movie Society

                        12. We Read Movies

                        This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                        1 hr 28 min

                      About We Read Movies

                      From the publisher's feed

                      There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just…