We Read Movies

We Read Movies

By We Read MoviesSexuality
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We Read Movies episodes

  • Ben and Arthur

    For our birthday episode, we watched the 2002 film Ben and Arthur, widely regarded as the worst gay movie in the world. Possibly even the worst movie in the world. Does it live up to the hype? You best believe it does! Did we love every second of it? Heck yeah we did!

    Topics discussed:

    1. Church sanctioned hitmen
  • Gun-toting ex-wives
  • Interesting uses for nail polish remover
  • More psychopaths than you can shake an extra large dildo at
  • A constantly shifting magical flophouse
  • Did we mention that this movie is bonkers?

    • We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    1 hr 10 min
  • The Wolves of Kromer

    This week, we watched the 1998 film The Wolves of Kromer. In a world where gay people are some sort of werewolves who live in the British countryside and eat old ladies, can we ever learn to get along with our straight neighbors? If this concept sounds wild, it's because it is.

    Topics discussed:

    1. Problematic gay allegories
  • Does Pac-Man have a dick?
  • Models who are actors
  • The world's greatest detective
  • Grief orgasms
  • Oi innit, gov?

    • We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    1 hr 22 min
  • Shock to the System

    This week, we watched the 2006 Shock to the System, the second in the Donald Strachey series of mysteries. Join us as we return to the Dirty Albs, and try solve a mystery so confusing that the country's most famous gay detective doesn't even know what the mystery is.

    Topics discussed:

    1. Chris describes a porno he should have described last episode
  • Ex-gay therapy
  • Tattoos
  • Morgan Fairchild

    • We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    1 hr 21 min
  • SHORTS: Jackplot

    This week, we watched the 2020 British short film Jackplot. For a movie with the word plot in the title, there's not a lot of it, so mostly we just talked about a DC/Frasier crossover. Join us, won't you

    Topics discussed:

    1. The Two Dr. Crane's
  • How much money would it take for you to kill your husband?
  • What if it was in British money?
  • What even is British money? How does it work?
  • Reality TV

    • We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    21 min
  • Judas Kiss

    This week, we watched the 2011 time travel drama Judas Kiss. When failed director Zach agrees to judge a film competition at his old alma mater, he magically travels back in time and meets himself as a student. Does he have sex with himself? You bet he does. Does anything else happen? Let's find out!

    Topics discussed:

    1. Would you have sex with past you?
  • The unfortunate music of Brokencyde
  • Straights Ask the Darnedest Thing
  • Drew's dating history
  • How many time travel references can we make? Hint: it's a lot

    • Links mentioned in this episode:

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibABP4U

    We Read Movies

    This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

    1 hr 27 min
  • SHORTS: Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye?

    This week, we talked about the short film Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye, a gay covid tale with a twist ending that's so short we padded it out with a list of movies Chris has cried at on planes. It's weirder than you think

    Topics discussed:

    1. Covid movies during covid
    2. Movies Chris has cried at on planes
    3. Speaking of planes, who gave Baloo the Bear flight technology?
    4. Master Chef Junior

      5. We Read Movies

      This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

      14 min
    5. Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood

      This week, along with our special guests Butch Alice and Anya Knees, we talked about the 2013 film Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood. With naked fight scenes, bad accents, and mind control powers, it should be a hit. Is it? Probably not, but let's find out!

      Topics discussed:

      1. Scooby Doo
      2. The rules of vampires
      3. Naked boxing
      4. Mind control acting
      5. Hey, look over there!

        6. Links mentioned in this episode:

        • http://www.annextheatre.org/2020-season/the-vampires-of-the-neverwood/

          • We Read Movies

          This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

          1 hr 20 min
        • Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild

          This week, Isabel Anderson, who also does our amazing episode art, joined us to talk about Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild. All of us, except Drew, hated the first film, but what will this installment bring? Can it hope to surpass the nasty, crass humor of the first movie? (Hint: Yes)

          Topics discussed:

          1. Which kind of merperson would you have sex with?
          2. Cursed tikis
          3. Chris describes the worst porno he's ever seen
          4. Problematic gays
          5. Bath houses

            6. Links mentioned in this episode:

            • https://glowmoondoll.com/
            • https://i.redd.it/p1ooz0poxtn11.jpg

              • We Read Movies

              This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

              1 hr 28 min
            • The Love Patient

              This week, we talked about the 2011 movie The Love Patient, about an awful man who fakes having cancer to get back with his ex who's in a much better place since they broke up. Will deception bring love? Will they land the big client at their ad agency? Will there be a weird pagan orgy in the middle for some reason? Let's find out!

              Topics discussed:

              1. Which Pokemon would you have sex with?
              2. Cooking naked
              3. Christmas presents
              4. What exactly is the replicator on Star Trek using to make food?
              5. The right way to pretend you have cancer for love and profit

                6. We Read Movies

                This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                1 hr 23 min
              6. SHORTS: Andy The Talking Hedgehog

                This week, at the suggestion of a listener who hates us, we watched the not even gay movie Andy the Talking Hedgehog. Starring Tara Reid and Dean Cain, this movie is a fascinating look into the depths of how bad a movie can actually be. We thought Pornography: A Thriller was terrible, but Andy the Talking Hedgehog has shown us how good we've actually had it. At least that movie hung dong.

                Topics discussed:

                1. Actors with problematic views
                2. Hedgehog teeth
                3. Lisa Frank
                4. What should a talking cat sound like?
                5. Accents

                  6. We Read Movies

                  This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

                  20 min

                About We Read Movies

                From the publisher's feed

                There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just…