We Want The D

The first two movies in Disney's Witch Mountain franchise were...wild to say the least. Between the flying winnebagos, the mind control devices and endless shots of cars reversing and peeling away, the movies were a barrage of strangeness. What we're saying is, RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN has quite the legacy. And while strange in its own special way - with nonsensical cameos, Men in Black antagonists and casualty-less train explosions - it does end up fitting quite cleanly into this era of family-friendly movies from Rock "The Dwayne" Johnson.

Gotta say, D-Lovers, we don't think Disney was trying particularly hard with this one. THE CASTAWAY COWBOY asks what would happen if a mid-nineteenth century Texas cowboy washed up on the shore of a Hawaiian island, and helped a widow convert her land from failing potato farm to thriving cattle ranch. The answer - not a whole lot. This time, it's more about the unintentional questions. Like, how far can our hosts' patience be stretched by a child actor who can only screech his lines? Or, how easily can Vincent McEveety get away with shooting a daring midnight cattle raid while filming at high noon?

Ah the hubris of humankind. It's something that makes us do crazy things like try to send people into space, or travel to inhospitable locations and attempt to survive, just because we can. But try telling that to driven space rock scientist Bruce Greenwood, on the hunt for his latest space rock in a frigid wasteland; or a guilt-ridden Paul Walker, desperate to get back to his Antarctic base. To tell them "no" would be...well it would be about as pointless as telling Vicky not to love a movie about dogs. Which brings us to Disney's EIGHT BELOW...

Look, D-Lovers; after two hundred and forty episodes, we know that when our hosts say that some obscure Disney movie from the 1970s has some of the craziest, non-family friendly things we've ever seen in a movie watched for this podcast, it's not really surprising anymore. It was a wild time for the film studio - you know it, we know it. But when Vicky, Nolan and Jill say that TREASURE OF MATECUMBE has, without a doubt, the craziest sequence we've seen possibly in any movie - just know that it far surpasses anything you could possibly imagine.

We all know the story of CINDERELLA by now, right? Heck, our hosts have seen four different versions of her story at this point. So no point in regaling you with how this Disney movie is a foot fetishists dream come true, or that it's weird that Cinderella's only friends are rodents and small birds. That's not to say there's nothing to say about the movie that was essentially the test run for the modern Disney remake...we're just saying don't stop us if you've heard this one before.

Whether it was on Nickelodeon or a Disney channel, there's a good chance you may have some fond memories of watching Doug Funnie and the other citizens of Bluffington on television. Of course after the series was bought by Disney, it was only a matter of time before the machinations of Michael Eisner wrought a theatrically released film in the form of DOUG'S 1st MOVIE. The question is, does any of it hold up? Find out, this week on We Want The D!

For a place known as the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia is infamous for having some of the hardest-to-please and quick-to-anger fans across all sports. And it seems some of that aggression has rubbed off on our hosts' during this week's episode on Disney's INVINCIBLE. Because Vicky, Nolan and Jill have some Big Takes on Mark Wahlberg, the NFL and (oddly) especially recreational sports. It doesn't quite get to full-contact territory or anything...but it's not that far off, either!

Step aside, Hercules (sorry, we mean Hunkules) - we've stumbled across the real greatest hero in the Disney canon. It's AMY, of course! A woman who suffered a horrible loss and channeled her grief into helping others, ditching her awful, possessive husband in the process (if it wasn't clear, this is another movie from the 1980s). While a bit heavy on the soap opera melodrama and filming techniques, our hosts were all quite taken with this film; and by the end of this week's episode you may be too.

It's another entry in the "Walt learned some history trivia so they made a movie about it" genre of Disney film this week. This time, it's about the expedition that navigated through the previously uncharted waters of the Colorado River; and if this movie is any indication immediately all went a little bit nuts and almost killed each other. It's TEN WHO DARED...or, more accurately, SIX WHO DARED AND FOUR WHO DIDN'T.

Grab your best pair of skiing jeans, D-Lovers, cause we're hitting the slopes this week with Disney's SNOWBALL EXPRESS. Featuring an all-star cast of some of our 1970s favourites - Dean Jones! Harry Morgan! Johnny Whitaker! Schuyler from the Medfield College movies! - only this time the pratfalls and hijinks all take place on a ski hill and there's lots of dangerous engine-based comedy. So, you know, a remix on a pretty familiar formula at this point.