We Want The D

This week on We Want The D we dive into another one of Disney's post-war package films. This is another collection of shorts that lack any sort of thematic commonality, only connected by the fact that each is backed by some sort of song or soundtrack. Something so nondescript deserves the title of MELODY TIME, so it's not surprise when Vicky, Nolan and Jill have a hard time focusing on shorts about bumblebees, trees and our old friend Pecos Bill and indulging in a few tangents that we're sure you'll enjoy just as much as our unpacking of boat culture, Donald Duck and José Carioca's relationship, and what any given character's choice of tobacco product says about them.

To tell you, dear listener, anything about this movie here would rob you of the unique opportunity of hearing Vicky, Nolan and Jill attempt to explain this particular Disney movie. But we have to write something, so we'll say this much: THE ONE AND ONLY, GENUINE, ORIGINAL FAMILY BAND is a movie of length. The title is obviously long. The runtime is long. There's an almost absurd amount of musical numbers. And there is truly no end to how insane our hosts found virtually ever facet of this movie. If nothing else (and there isn't much else), this is truly a genuine, one-of-a-kind original in the Disney canon.

It's likely no secret by now that our hosts have some misgivings about Disney's most recent (and to date most whole-hearted) foray into remakes, reboots and sequels of some of their most beloved properties. So that there's quite a divide in opinion when it comes to CHRISTOPHER ROBIN, their nostalgia-dipped installment in the Winnie the Pooh canon should come as no surprise. Is this a charming, if inoffensive take on characters that Disney have frequently gone back to, or is it another cash grab that lacks the depth in storytelling to make it worth the film it's printed on (yes, it was most likely shot on digital, it's a metaphor - deal with it)? A definitive answer is hard to come by, so join us in our adventure to the Hundred Acre Wood as we attempt to puzzle it out.

We end at the beginning. A journey that started with the Wildcats of...uh...High School Musical High? (Sure, let's go with that) graduating having learned that they're all in this together begins with them auditioning for the Winter Musicale and ultimately learning that they're all in this together. It should be no surprise that in the end at least two thirds of our hosts would never quite grasp how this franchise became the phenomenon it did, but at least it gave us some laughs along the way.

The last time Vicky, Nolan and Jill watched a collaboration between Disney and ImageMovers Digital it was...well it was Mars Needs Moms and it was one of the worst movies any of our hosts had seen. But it seems like even an effort to create MoCap Monstrosities can't overcome the Christmas spirit, as their adaptation of the Dickens classic, A CHRISTMAS CAROL, manages to impress all of our hosts to varying degrees. And that''s in spite of it not featuring any Muppets.

With so few Christmas movies to chose from in the Disney theatrical canon, it is a tad disappointing that so many of their meager offerings are so...underwhelming. Take I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, a vehicle for teen heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas in his declining years (ie 17 years old) that is part road movie, part teen sex romp without the sex. Cause it's Disney. JTT's Jake is one of the more awful main characters we've had to put up with, a liar and manipulator who doesn't seem to learn anything but still gets the Porsche, the girl in the form of Jessica Biel, and the love and respect of his father in the form of Gary Cole. To be honest, it makes what should be a joyful holiday movie kind of a drag to watch, but a heck of a lot of fun to talk about.

This week on We Want The D, our hosts break with tradition to bring you our first ever non-Disney movie in the podcast's histor- wait what's that? MAX KEEBLE'S BIG MOVE is a Disney movie? Huh, you're sure? Cause tonally and stylistically, it looks and sounds a heck of a lot like a Nickelodeon joint. And has quite a few Nickelodeon stars in it. But you're certain? Disney, you say? But that dad wears all those weird costumes for no believable reason. And there's that weird singing frog character and Josh Peck in a bathrobe and Larry Miller goes so big that it can't possibly be...but it is? Huh. Well, alright then.

It's pure coincidence that American Thanksgiving has just passed us by and that our hosts just so happen to be taking on the Disney-fied, romanticized version of the first Thanksgiving with SQUANTO: A WARRIOR'S TALE. Or at least as Disney-fied as a story can be that still opens with a horrifying sequence of two First Nation's men being stolen from their homeland and forced to perform in sideshows for the entertainment of Michael Gambon and the rest of the seventeenth century British elite. There's something engrossing about this movie, whether it be a young Adam Beach's undeniable magnetism and charm, Mandy Patinkin's always soothing presence, or the surprisingly decent investment into production and costume design. But then again, it's Disney doing another story about the horrors of colonialism and the terror it wrought on indigenous populations, so we're not letting it off the hook that easily.

This week, our hosts return to the most incomprehensible franchise in the Disney catalog with RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN. While the first movie featured young siblings fleeing from those who would use their alien powers for nefarious purposes, this sequel mixes things up by having one of those siblings captured by those who would use their alien powers for nefarious purposes. And, in a dark twist, having his free will stripped away so he's forced to do everything from rob a museum of their millions of dollars in gold bars to attempt to murder his sister. This is one of the darkest Disney movies we've seen yet, and it's not just because acting legends Bette Davis and Christopher Lee are forced to play with this sub-par material. If ever there was a case for Ron Miller's fundamental misunderstanding of what a Disney movie should be, this would be exhibit A.

Our series on Mary Poppins draws to a close with the big show itself, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill put on a big show in its honour. MARY POPPINS, if it wasn't already clear by the weeks of discussion we've been giving to it, is a very special movie that holds a special place in our collective hearts. So we earnestly gush about the performances, the songs, the matte paintings, and everything in between. But this is still We Want The D so we don't give Disney (or each other) an entirely free ride. But the complaints are small and the issues are minor, because it's been nothing short of a jolly holiday with you, our listeners, embarking on this special series of our podcast!