We Want The D

A little over a year ago, Vicky, Nolan and Jill were delighted to make the acquaintance of Merlin Jones, the scrambled egghead of Medvale Collage. Now, during the Summer of Sequels, our hosts couldn't be more excited to return to this campus of extremely old students for more of Merlin's wackadoo adventures in Disney's THE MONKEY'S UNCLE. Like all good sequels, this one gives us more of what we crave - more Tommy Kirk (in his final Disney role), more green screen dream sequences, and more of Annette Funicello's foghorn voice; this time accompanied by the dulcet harmonies of The Beach Boys.

It's a banner year for Disney's live action remakes and it's all our hosts can do to keep up. This revisit of animated classic ALADDIN had some ill-tidings leading up to it, from a delay-causing casting process to find the right leads to some worrying early footage and images of Will Smith's take on the Genie. Is this destined to be yet another hollow recreation that trades on nostalgia dollars, or a worthy update to a beloved film? There's only one way to find out!

We're kicking off another summer series here on We Want The D! What could be better than spending the season focusing on one beloved Disney franchise? Easy - focusing on many! In the Summer of Sequels we'll be tackling the theatrical, direct-to-video and TV movie sequels to some of Disney's best and worst and everything in between. We're kicking things off with the direct-to-video sequel to a theatrically released movie based on a cartoon TV series - AN EXTREMELY GOOFY MOVIE! All your favourites are back - Max, Goofy, PJ and that weird Pauly Shore one - as well as a host of brand new hideously designed characters. And sure, Powerline and Roxanne may be noticeably absent, replaced by the X Games, but surely that won't negatively impact our hosts' viewing experience. Right?

Welcome to another Minnie Mouse-isode, where we're showcasing yet another important figure in Disney's history. This week, we learn that while Ron Miller seemingly couldn't produce an on-brand Disney movie to save his life, he wasn't necessarily the bumbling fool who lucked into a cushy job thanks to marrying Daddy Walt's firstborn daughter we often view him as. Except for the luck part, he definitely had that coming out the wazoo.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill learned a lot of lessons from this week's movie. We learned that with a head-strong attitude and plucky spirit, one can stand in the background of some of the most pivotal moments in American history. We learned that even when working on the Sabbath and keeping a sharp eye out for passing constables, it's important to always handle molten silver with care. And we learned that there really isn't anything that Vicky can't and won't sexualize. All that and more from Disney's JOHNNY TREMAIN!

It's our 200th episode! One that features all the hard-hitting, considered analysis you've come to expect from We Want The D. Is Disney's TARZAN a triumphant conclusion to the renaissance, or a sign that it was truly over? Was Rosie O'Donnell born to play Turk, or was her casting capitalizing on her Ellen-like popularity in the 90s? Does this movie have a younger target audience in mind than usual, or are there deeper themes about family and fatherhood at play? Are Tarzan and Jane the hottest animated couple? And how long after the credits roll did it take for them to bone down, and did the rest of the gorillas (and Jane's dad) watch?

The story set up in the Disney TV Movie LIFE-SIZE is pretty grim. A young girl, two years out from the death of her mother, has still not properly processed her grief. Her father, rather than be there for his daughter, has thrown himself into work. As we all know, that's a recipe for any pre-teen girl to start dabbling in the occult (or metaphysics). So it's no surprise that things go from bad to worse when Lindsay Lohan accidentally brings a doll to life instead of raising her mother from the grave, resulting in the most disturbing adult love story we've seen yet.

Ol' Walt used to get inspiration for his movies from all sorts of places. His daughters beloved books, timeless folklore, heck even a mountain one time. So it's not all that surprising that when he happened to catch a performance of the Vienna Boys' Choir during his travels, he called up the studio with the latest hot idea. The result is ALMOST ANGELS, a film that is part mild early-60s Disney output, part straight-up promotional video for those high-singing Austrian boys. It's a little bit charming, a lotta bit nuts, and all-in-all pretty par for the course when it comes to our strange Disney journey so far.

If you're familiar with this movie, or the classic children's novel its based on, you probably know what is in store here. Much like our hosts, who all pretty much knew what they were getting into when they sat down to watch this movie. It's hard not to be saddened by Disney's BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA, it's sort of built-in to the story; what with poor lil' Josh Hutcherson having trouble bonding with his dad, the T1000; lil' Mary Belle and her twinkees; and lil' AnnaSophia Robb...well, you probably know. But it's also easy to be delighted by the strong performances of the child actors, the risk Disney took in faithfully adapting this story, and the always-impressive work of Weta Workshop in bringing a child's imagined world to life.

This week's episode would come with a big ol' spoiler warning for the latest in Disney's line of live action remakes, except for the fact that this new version of DUMBO is pretty predictable for anyone who has, y'know, seen a movie before. Yes, unfortunately the only surprise to be had in this film is that it somehow made it to theatres under the Disney banner, while functioning as a part-parody, part-condemnation of giant amusement parks and megalomaniacal businessmen/entertainers...something you'd think the House of Mouse would rather avoid. But here we are, so in the twice-repeated words of Michael Buffer in this movie: "Let's get ready to Dumboooooooo!"