We Want The D

You may be wondering how a "mini" episode of We Want The D can be the length of a regular episode. Well D Lovers, the truth is these aren't mini episodes, they're Minnie Mouse-isodes, which are very different. In this installment, Vicky, Nolan and Jill dive back in to the history of the Disney company and the personalities who have helped shape it over the year. This week's subject is OG Nine Old Men member and plane metaphor enthusiast Wolfgang Reitherman.

Let it never be said that Vicky, Nolan and Jill can't finish something they start. This week on We Want The D, our hosts are wrapping up the first complete franchise in their journey through the Disney canon. Sure, it may only comprise of a mere two films, but the two movies combined are almost four hours of some of the dumbest storytelling and nonsensical film-making our hosts have been exposed to. Beloved as the book series may be (especially by Vicky), THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT is not the sequel fans were likely hoping for, or even expecting. Does anyone really care what happened to young Mia Thermopolis after the events of the first movie, now that she's a privileged princess of a small principality? Was anyone clamouring for a sequel that essentially robs the characters of any agency or personality? Is anyone actually entertained by a bachelorette party of vaudeville routines, mattress surfing, or Julie Andrews giving a performance that gets dangerously close to a rapping granny? If the first movie was dumb and bad, the adjectives to describe this one are even less generous.

Welcome, D Lovers, to the extra special, extra beefy 100th episode of We Want The D! It's definitely cause for celebration, but we're not here to celebrate ourselves (well, maybe a little); we're using this excuse to celebrate what many consider to be the pinnacle of Disney animated film-making - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. A beloved classic for many, including Vicky, Nolan and Jill, our hosts have nothing but love for the brilliant songs, top-tier voice acting, and wet, loose hair that all feature prominently (some might say equally) in this movie. Even the somewhat dulled visuals, only apparent thanks to the advancement of Diamond Edition Blu-rays, can't dull our love for this film. It's a regular ol' love-fest and gush-fest, not just for this movie, but for you - our loyal listeners - whether you've been with us from the start or are just tuning in this week. Thanks for listening, and hope you'll stay with us for the next hundred episodes and beyond!

After watching 100+ Disney movies over the past two and some odd years, you'd think that Vicky, Nolan and Jill would be less surprised at the sheer audacity and ridiculousness of some of these movies. But it seems that the House of Mouse always finds some way to raise the bar. Take MAN OF THE HOUSE, for example. In theory, it makes sense to pair up comedy legend Chevy Chase, 90s child star extraordinaire Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and television icon Farrah Fawcett for a comedy about a blended family. In practice you get a phoned-in performance from Chevy, including a near-frigid amount of chemistry with Fawcett, and JTT giving a performance that redefines the Oedipal complex. Oh, and just a shocking amount of racism toward and appropriation of First Nations. Like, truly shocking. Like, animated Peter Pan and then some levels. It's real bad. But in a way, it's just part for the course for us at We Want The D.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill have watched a fair share of head-scratchers in their journey through the Disney canon. It's gotten to the point where, when watching a film from a certain era, our hosts of come to expect a few things. So when we popped on THE MOON-SPINNERS from 1964, there were certain expectations in place. There'd probably be some supernatural element, an extended gambling sequence, some slapstick hijinks, maybe some animal cruelty. What we got was a dark mystery that, at times, felt way more Hitchcock than Disney. Stolen treasure, subterfuge, daring windmill escapes, angry cats (big and small), fist fights on boats, drunken lunches - and at the centre of it all, our beloved Hayley Mills, wearing just the cutest pink and blue outfits. The only way our expectations were met was there were definitely some thrown cats and one likely drugged cheetah. It threw us all for loop, but we'll try to make sense of it for you as we always do on We Want The D.

We'll be honest, D-Lovers. Things get a little sidetracked during this week's episode. There's tangents and off-topic chatter abound. But you can't really blame our hosts, because at the end of the day how much is there to say about a movie, based on a true story, about a man who dreams of pitching in the major leagues if only he wasn't past his prime...only to discover that he's not at all and is in fact able to consistently throw very fast pitches so he ends up pitching in the major leagues. It's a schmaltzy tale, maybe even an interesting anecdote; but don't be surprised when we diverge into other topics like watching people puke in parking lots the day after St. Paddy's, the relative ages of Dennis Quaid and Brian Cox, and the rise and fall of Two and Half Men's Angus T. Jones.

One of the more bizarre things Disney is beloved for is making people really really upset. People fondly remember the childhood trauma they suffered when Bambi's mother is shot, the fear the felt when the Evil Queen transformed into the Old Hag, and the sorrow when Mufasa is trampled by wildebeests. This week on We Want The D; Vicky, Nolan and Jill are talking about OLD YELLER, a movie that has been traumatizing its audiences for years, and not just because the movie ends with a beloved, loyal pet and companion being shot in the face while growling like a hellbeast. No, in modern times Old Yeller is perhaps even more traumatizing thanks to that classic Disney tendency for cruelty to animals. From a dog vs hog fight that our hosts can't figure out how they'd fake to the most distressing noises you'll ever hear a bovine make, this movie is not one for the animal lovers. Add in the distressing behind-the-scenes story of Tommy Kirk's rise and fall (and happily rise again) at Disney and it's a wonder our hosts' usual tears of laughter weren't tears of sorrow by the end of this one.

Disney's The Great Mouse Detective is something of an anomaly in the scope of movies we typically watch on We Want The D. On the one hand, it's made up almost entirely of conventional tropes - either from the animated Disney canon, the tales of Sherlock Holmes, or from the vast catalog of animated films about mice and other rodents. On the other hand, considering it came out in the 1980s, its also a breath of fresh air when compared to its other contemporaries from the House of Mouse. The animation is good (for the 80s), the story isn't too dark (for the 80s), the voice acting is above average (for the 80s) thanks in no small part to Vincent Price. The end result is a movie that is largely enjoyable, but still has a fair share of baffling choices and moments for our hosts to pick over.

This week on We Want The D, our hosts make sure to follow their ABCs - Alway's Be Caging. Because you never know what you're going to get when you watch Nicholas Cage in a movie. Case and point: Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Very (very) loosely based on the Fantasia segment, proposed and championed by Cage himself, you'd think the result would be an intense Nicholas Cage running around in some outrageous costume, screaming spells in people's faces and giving one of his classic over-the-top performances. But you gotta remember to ALWAYS BE CAGING because in this week's movie, Cage opted for a more mellow, understated performance. Why, as the lead actor, should he take any of the spotlight? Nor should main antagonist Alfred Molina for that matter. Really, this movie should be all about Jay Baruchel, playing the awkward geek who happily finds out he has magic powers that will allow him to stalk his childhood crush save the world from a possessed Monica Bellucci who spends most of the film trapped in a Russian nesting doll. As you may have gathered by now, this movie is bonkers...but it's a kind of mellow bonkers that makes it all the more infuriating.

Two years into our adventure into the Disney catalog, your hosts have come to expect certain things from films from certain eras. The 60s and 70s are typically filled with animals with weird abilities, straight-laced middle-aged men finding love, and often involve some sort of extended gambling sequence. Every so often, however, we get a movie about a plucky young heroine who just needs to be loved by a family unit. Much to our relief (or in Vicky's case, shrugging acceptance), CANDLESHOE falls into that latter category, as we follow a young Jodie Foster on the world's most routine pirate treasure hunt in strangely named English estate. And sure, there may be some unfortunate human-trafficking undertones, and it may lean a little too heavily on the masterful talents of disguise from David Niven to entertain and delight the audience, but we'll take that over alien cats or invisible car chases any day.