We Want The D

As you D Lovers surely have realized by now, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are not afraid to go the distance to deliver hard-hitting commentary on the brightest and strangest of Disney films. Spanning the furthest reaches of outer space to the tropical beaches of Hawaii, this week on We Want The D we pull no punches on LILO & STITCH. Emotionally resonant sibling story and wig-wearing, Kevin McDonald-voiced alien be damned; we still raise the tough questions about Lilo's severe emotional and behavioral issues, Jumba's unexplained Russian accent, heavily contrasting animated settings, and jut who Cobra Bubbles reports to. Each of your hosts faced a lot of inner turmoil about just how to feel about this movie, so enjoy this installment of your favourite podcast where we try to figure it out.

We've watched a lot of strange Disney movies here on We Want The D; everything from old dads to dancing leprechauns have defuddled Vicky, Nolan and Jill over past episodes. But this week's film may take the cake. The Three Lives of Thomasina stars a cult television actor and producer, Jane and Michael Banks from Mary Poppins along with a host of other towheaded children, and a blandly beautiful blonde - almost all of whom are (badly) attempting Scottish accents. Oh yeah, and a cat that vanishes for large chunks of time, even though the movie is named after AND about her. That may not sound so strange to you yet, Dear Listeners, but we haven't even gotten to the cat afterlife, gypsy circus, or number of instances of animals being "destroyed." But don't worry, no actual animals were killed in the making of this film...we think. Lots of them were drugged, though.

If there's one thing Vicky, Nolan and Jill would like our Dear Listeners to take away from this week's episode of We Want The D, it's that no matter how much we may hate the movies you request, we still love you. That said, our hosts don't really love anything about Disney's THE FOX AND THE HOUND. Never before has a film that features cute baby animals and a message about the power of friendship (or something more that friendship...) been so reviled for its poor animation, phoned-in voice acting and overall dullness. It's a good old-fashioned hate-fest this week, so we recommend a palette cleanser of pictures of cute animals once you're done listening - just none of the ones from this movie.

Halloween month has drawn to a close, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill would be lying if they said it was an easy ride so far. But we can rest easy knowing it was all building to this week's episode. Eddie Murphy and Ray Bradbury may have let us down, but if there's one thing we know, it's that Bette Midler would be the wind beneath our wings, and bring We Want The D soaring to new, wonderful, spooky heights. The critics may disagree, but we know Disney's HOCUS POCUS ranks among their best live action ventures. How could it not, with three witches fully committed to playing their time displacement to the fullest, 90s bullies with amazing fashion sense and killer high-five skills, Jason (not James) Marsden dubbing over another actor AND a cat, and the incomparable Doug Jones as a two-timing zombie boyfriend? Happy Halloween, D Lovers!

Halloween Month continues, and we gotta be honest, D Lovers - it's starting to feel like the House of Mouse is incapable of crafting a Halloween story that is entertaining, let alone scary. The Haunted Mansion may be based on a beloved theme park ride, and released the same year as another movie based on a ride that has spawned a billion dollar franchise, but it's a ghostly shadow of it's nautical cousin on all fronts. This is an antebellum ghost story of forbidden love (why is their love forbidden? We won't say, but you can take a wild guess!) told through the lens of a modern day family led by a criminally misused Eddie Murphy and his very young wife trying to sell an old house occupied by the most obvious ghosts ever (and Jennifer Tilly's head in a crystal ball). You won't laugh or be scared by this movie, but you'll be amazed at how bored you can be watching Eddie Murphy complete mundane fetch quests while his oblivious wife is led on the longest guided tour of all time. The ride is far from wild this week on We Want The D.

Welcome to Halloween Month, D Lovers! To kick off our inaugural October scare-tacular, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are taking on the Disney adaptation of Ray Bradbury's SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES. Set in a simpler time where young boys could run about unsupervised, carnivals never came past labor day, and shopkeepers were super SUPER horny; this movie isn't so much scary as it is confusing, dull, and generally pretty terrible. For every one scene where the main boys are attacked by spiders, there's ten where one of the boys has a heart-to-heart with his ancient father. For every scene where Jonathan Pryce's Mr. Dark glowers menacingly, there's five where the town barber is awkwardly laughing and sweating. Bottom line: the scariest thing about this movie is the prospect of ever needing to see it again.

In many ways, Disney's A Far Off Place doesn't really depart from the formula that the film company usually follows. Orphaned children, an epic journey across a beautiful but deadly landscape, pursuit from a ruthless and cold-hearted villain. What sets THIS movie apart is its willingness to embrace the inherent darkness of those stories, rather than skirt around or wave it off. From an opening featuring an elephant slaughter, to a teenage Reece Witherspoon murdering grown men with dynamite, to a henchman being shot in the face and kicked out of a helicopter, this movie does not mess around. But there's no need to fear, for Ethan Embry's sweet face is a constant comfort to your hosts this week. So join Vicky, Jill, and special guest Cat on a journey of their own, as they delve into A FAR OFF PLACE.

Hope all you D Lovers enjoyed our last mini-episode, because hot on the heels of Best Henchmen comes our second mini-episode, and this time we're focusing on the sidekicks! Vicky, Nolan and Jill all throw their own picks into the ring to duke it out for the title of most supreme, helpful, hilarious, and heroic sidekick for our favourite Disney heroes. We loved hearing about all your own favourites after our last mini-episode, so keep those coming in after this week as well. And we will of course be back next Thursday with a full-length episode of your favourite podcast, We Want The D!

Join the We Want the D crew as they go deep into the Disney vaults and blow the dust off the 1959 Disney live action/fantasy/romance/comedy/musical...or whatever it is, Darby O'Gill and The Little People. Come skip across the emerald landscapes of Ireland, oh wait it's California. Have a stout and hear a tale of the leprechaun king in a quaint Irish pub, oh wait, it's just a set in California. Well at least you can enjoy the authentic Irish accents, oh wait, there's a bunch of British and Scottish people faking Irish accents. Well at least there's one thing we can all enjoy, Sean Connery aggressively grabbing women to assert sexual dominance. So take a shot of whiskey, string up your fiddle and follow the rainbow to the pot of gold that is this week's episode of We Want The D.

As mentioned at the end of last week's episode, we regret that Vicky, Nolan and Jill aren't able to bring you a proper new installment of We Want The D this week. Rather than leave our Dear Listeners high and dry, though, we've decided to release our first "mini" episode. Whenever we are unable to give you a new full-length episode (which will hopefully not be very often), we will release one of these short, quickfire debates, so you won't have to go a single week without the sweet sound of us arguing in your ears. In our inaugural mini-episode, we're each throwing our weight behind one of the classic (or not-so-classic) henchmen that help support the larger-than-life villains that are essential parts of many Disney films.