We Want The D

Allow us to take you back in time, D Lovers. Way, way back to a time when the world barely resembled our own. The year is 2000. Pixar had stolen our hearts and minds with a handful of movies about toys and bugs, rendered in a beautifully realized CGI animation style. Meanwhile, our beloved Disney was faltering on the pedestal they had built on their string of 90's classics. Their solution: jump on that CGI animation bandwagon just as fast as possible. No time to think up a good story, or consider whether or not to hire half-decent voice actors, or do anything but hire a director who had told a dinosaur story or two before, and shoot about ten minutes of real-life footage of beautiful landscapes and an hour and twenty minutes of brown, bland desert footage, and fill it with talking dinosaurs (except the carnivorous ones) and a family of lemurs. The result is Dinosaur - a film that Vicky, Nolan and Jill can say "has a pretty good first three minutes," and "sometimes the action is ok." This week on We Want The D, we fail to be captivated by the not-so-wild ride of Dinsey's Dinosaur!

If you thought last week's gushing over John Cusack was entertaining, you're in for a real treat this week as Vicky, Nolan and Jill swing full-force into discussing the slick, oily merits of prime-1990s Brendan Fraser. Disney's George of the Jungle combines a lot of the strange 90's obsessions, like comparing tropical jungles to urban jungles and making feature films based on old television shows. The result is a strange little movie that has our hosts' opinions divided; and an episode brimming with discussion about Leslie Mann's possible perm, convincing gorilla puppets, and mostly the somewhat disturbing amount of sexual undercurrent running through this family film. Grab a vine and swing on down, D Lovers, just watch out for that tree!

Show of hands, D Lovers, how many of you have seen Disney's THE JOURNEY OF NATTY GANN? Our guess is not that many. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill will guide you through this epic journey, much like Natty's own stalwart wolf companion helped guide her from the depression-era streets of Chicago to the wilds of Washington. Also like Natty's adventure, though, we may get a little sidetracked by the epic tree stunts, disturbingly realistic dog fighting, hobo sex cults, and above all else a young John Cusack. We sincerely hope that you enjoy this episode every bit as much as we enjoyed this forgotten classic.

This week on We Want The D, it's Jill the cat person vs Vicky the dog person vs Nolan the not-a-pet person. Disney's The AristoCats is cute enough, with it's artistically inclined kittens, angelically-voiced Dutchess, and smooth-talking Thomas O'Malley, but whether that cuteness amounts to anything worthwhile depends on which host you ask. Does a pair of vicious and malicious Hillbilly Hounddogs who call the French countryside home make up for a villain's half-baked and ill-conceived plans? Do twin sister Geese and their drunk Uncle make up for the absence of danger and obstacles as four housecats readily find their way home? Does a mouse voiced by Sterling Holloway make up for the lack of any French accents in a movie set entirely in Paris and the surrounding area? Find out what our hosts thought, and make up your own mind by listening now, and learn why everybody wants to be a D Lover!

In the very first episode of We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill talked about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the very first Disney animated feature and as a consequence the very first of their 'Princess' films. There are a lot of similarities between that 1937 film and 1950's CINDERELLA. Both have bland main characters who have close relationships with animals, poor relationships with their step-mothers, and fall in love with a Prince with less than a dozen words exchanged. But Cinderella is far more successful for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost - a fat mouse named Gus. But also a King obsessed with having grandchildren and his loyal Duke who he attempts to murder a few times; a pair of stepsisters with giant feet and featureless, tube-like figures; and a pretty spot-on depiction of a jerkwad cat. In short - the story may be just as bland, but there's some surprising laughs to be had. Hop in your pumpkin carriage, slip on your glass slippers and elbow-length gloves, and get ready for another episode of We Want The D!

As always, Dear Listeners, we encourage you to share this episode of We Want The D with everyone you know. This week, however, we ask that you share this episode as covertly and privately as possible. For the NASA Police could be anywhere, and if they catch wind of Vicky, Nolan, and Jill's coversations about them, the consequences could be dire. Your hosts risk their own freedom in order to tell you about Disney's FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR - a movie about a less-than-epic journey in an alien spaceship, piloted by a time-displaced preteen and an AI that sounds suspiciously like PeeWee Herman. A movie so 80s it features timely references to both Twisted Sister AND New Coke. A movie with so little substance that our hosts could only actually generate about forty-five minutes of content, so we filled the rest of the space with some wonderful fan mail we've received, and an announcement of yet another place to get your D fill online. So spread the D around (on the QT, though - NASA Police!), and get your ears ready for another episode of We Want The D!

Un Indian dans la Ville is a French film that Disney thought might appeal to an American family audience, so they released a dubbed over version to theatres in 1996. The film was harshly panned by critics and flopped at the box office. Undeterred, Disney thought to themselves, "what if we just remake the movie? Maybe it's not the content people are hating, maybe it's just missing Tim Allen," and proceeded to create a near shot-for-shot version they called Jungle 2 Jungle. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are faced with the dubious task of talking about a film with no real story, no real jokes, and no real appeal whatsoever. This isn't so much a movie about an estranged father and son from radically different worlds learning something about family as it is about Tim Allen and Martin Short buying too many coffee beans and getting mixed up with Russian gangsters (?!?!) who have severe arachnophobia. Does it all make sense in the end? Absolutely not.

This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill were so disturbed by this episode's film that their conversation couldn't be contained to our regular length. The good news is it means you all get a super-sized dose of D this week. The bad news is it's because there's a lot of in-depth conversation about subjects ranging from the downside of Disneyfication to the appropriateness of including sexual assault as a main drive in a family film. It's a dark episode for a dark film, but much like the wise-cracking and fart noise-making gargoyles, there's still a few laughs to be had in spite of the otherwise serious subject matter. Pour the wine, cut the cheese, and be ready to flee from fires both literal and figurative; this week we're taking on Disney's THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME!

From Air Buddies to Air Buddies V: Spooky Buddies, it is a well known fact that movies starring puppies are infalliably adorable. But long before golden retrievers were the puppies of choice, Disney released a film starring a breed of dogs known for their spots, high energy, and a genetic predisposition to deafness - 101 Dalmatians. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are all in agreement that this 1961 animated classic is well worth revisiting. For who could ever get tired of Cruella De Vil and her madcap schemes to murder and skin puppies en masse? Who could not feel compelled stand and salute the bravery and heroism of Sargeant Tibbs the cat? Who doesn't want to puzzle out the answer to "What's My Crime?" before time runs out? You can't resist, dear listeners, no more than anyone can resist getting the Kanine Krunchies jingle stuck in their head. So join us once again for another episode of WE WANT THE D!

The year is 1992. A mere eight months away from releasing the smash hit Aladdin, Disney decides to put out a film that defies all logic or reason not only in its story or construction, but in its very essence. A film helmed by a choreographer with no previous directing experience. A film that, despite being a period piece about a two-week strike in 1899, is for some reason a musical composed by the great Alan Menken featuring none of his typically great work. A film starring a young, English, born-to-be-Batman actor as a New York paperboy, leading a cast of other young men most of whom cannot sing or dance – performing alongside the grossly miscast Bill Pullman, Robert Duvall, and Ann-Margret. A film that, despite all of this, still manages to move Vicky to tears of delight and happiness for some inexplicable reason. Join us on this week’s episode of We Want The D, as Nolan and Jill attempt to figure out just what the hell Vicky sees in the bizarre-o film, NEWSIES!