We Want The D

Ah, the circus. A world of bright lights, spinning rides, drunk clowns, and abused animals. What baby elephant wouldn't want to be born (or special-delivered via stork) into such a wonderous world? So long as said infant doesn't have big ears, at least. Because then they are in for a world of pain and misery; one where their mothers are locked up for defending them against ginger antagonizers, their fellow elephants hate them with the fire of a thousand suns, and their only friend is a mouse who helps them forget their troubles by getting them wasted on champagne and water. Join Vicky, Nolan and Jill as they look at one of Disney's shortest, most charmingly animated, racially problematic, and wholly depressing films ever; this week on We Want The D!

The Black Cauldron was released in theatres in 1985, but wasn't made available on home video until thirteen years later. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are asking "why not twenty years? Better yet, why not never?" Because aside from one extremely adorable psychic pig, there is very little to love about Disney's first foray into PG rated territory. Sure, there's lots of boobs and corpses that kids love so much, but that doesn't make up for a mopey main "hero," a songless bard, a monkey-dog that everybody hates, and a total waste of John Hurt's talents. For a movie where so little happens, there's a lot to talk about - you don't want to miss this episode of We Want The D!

In this week's fan-request episode of We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill go down the rabbit hole into the back-assward world of Disney's animated celebration of ennui, Alice in Wonderland. Beloved among stoners and D-Lovers alike, each of our hosts struggle to remember just why that is, as it becomes clear that their apathy is matched only by Alice's own. Whether it be Jill gushing over bitchy flowers and a strange desire to play a game of "button-button who's got the button;" Nolan's feeling of kinship with an baby oyster-loving Walrus; or Victoria's feelings of vindication over the March Hare's animal attractions - this episode is in many ways just as bizarre and nonsensical as the film that inspired it.

We Want The D goes full live action with the star-studded Angels in the Outfield! A feel-good romp about a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt praying that the Los Angeles Angels win the Pennant and a group of angels led by Christopher Lloyd who grant his wish. Just kidding, this movie is anything but feel-good. It's got the saddest orphans ever, the most deadbeat of all deadbeat parents, surprise cancer, GM-pushing pill addiction, and an overall disregard for fair play and sportsmanlike conduct. Strap on your cleats and grab some dressing room cold cuts, D Lovers, and join us out at the old ball game!

This week on We Want The D, we're dipping our toes in the water of the strange and often sad world of live action Disney by watching the mixed live-action/animation film Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971). Why not Mary Poppins, you ask? Because Vicky, Nolan and Jill are suckers for self-flagellation, apparently. All the Nazi-fighting suits of armour in the world couldn't save this movie from its backward soccer rules, awkward midlife romance, boring songs, and disgusting garbage cats. But we got to see a 46 year old ethereal Angela Lansbury in a one-piece, so it's not all bad.

Disney's Peter Pan was a childhood favourite for all of us, but looking back, the horrors of this movie extend far beyond simple racism toward Native Americans. Join us in our second fan request as Vicky, Nolan and Jill shatter their childhood memories by discussing Pan the cult leader, Hook the sharp dresser and PTSD sufferer, Tinkerbell the abuse victim and psychopath (with bonus body dysmorphia!), Wendy the brainwashed innocent, and the rest of the cast of characters who help perpetuate the cycle of abuse and victimhood in the "wonderous" world of Neverland.

Welcome, dear listeners, to the most contentious episode of We Want The D yet. As Disney takes us on an experimental programme of picture and sound, Jillian delights in the smorgasbord of cute pegasus families and dancing hippos, Vicky struggles to contain her anger and confusion, and Nolan suppresses yawns of disinterest. But how can you blame them, with a film chock-a-block with odd Sorcerer hiring practices, media player visualizations, a unicorn donkey, and green blobs of nothing in particular? It's a recipe ripe for argument, and we invite you all to join us in enjoying the ambrosia that is Fantasia!

Vicky, Nolan and Jill would like to apologize to their Mexican, Brazilian, and all other Latin American friends for this episode of We Want The D. They apologize for the silly accents. They apologize for a lack of knowledge when it comes to traditional dance or other cultural touchstones. They apologize for Donald Duck's extremely troubling sexual aggression. They apologize for forgetting the word 'piñata.' They apologize for not having any idea what or where Baia is. They apologize for it all, though perhaps not as much as Disney should be apologizing to them for creating this insane and baffling 'movie.'

Vicky, Nolan, and Jill go under the sea to talk about the film that saved Disney from a near two-decade slump and redefined the company's direction for the next decade. And if Vicky is to be believed, it's all thanks to Alan Menken, her one true god. Join our hosts as they obsess over King Triton's nipples, Ariel's pubes, Ursula's tentacles (and boobs), Scuttle's heatstroke, Flounder's ineptitude, and each little jamming clam - down in the muck here on We Want The D!

A debate rages on this week's episode of We Want The D. Is Disney's Robin Hood uninspired recycled laziness, or is it an underrated classic? The line is drawn in the sand, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill are divided like never before. Things they can all agree on: The decidedly sexy foxes; the distrubingly abusive co-dependent relationship of PJ and Hiss; proper animal proportions; and Clucky the Hen's awesomeness. Oo De Lally!